The Official Cricket Thread

[SaintK]

If you’re a big enough shithole that the Long Room at Lords has a go at you, you probably need to reconsider your behaviour.

This Aussie team with its leadership group containing known and previously banned cheats are one of the least likeable, least watchable test sides I’ve ever come across.

And I’m Scottish and have Aussie citizenship.

That’s how much of a bunch of arseholes they are. They’re making me want England to win.

What a load of bullshit. The arseholes are the ones in the crowd and the long room. With the UK being a bonfire it's to be expected I suppose.....

Broken England.

.

Listen to the boos and jeers......

Really hope we do these pricks 5-0......

Still be utter cunts just like you
Fuck of back under your slimey rock

[Deepsouth]

What a load of bullshit. The arseholes are the ones in the crowd and the long room. With the UK being a bonfire it's to be expected I suppose.....

Broken England.

.

Listen to the boos and jeers......

Really hope we do these pricks 5-0......

Still be utter cunts just like you
Fuck of back under your slimey rock

Are the anguished tears of defeat....

Delicious they are......

[Sandstorm]

Needs less Bairstow.

[Paddington Bear]

Australian cricket is the definition of being able to dish it out but being unable to take it back.

[Torquemada 1420]

Didn't see any of this because was at an airshow and so only keeping track with cricinfo.

What I would say is both sides have taken sportsmanship off the table and so anything that is within the laws is within the laws. Eng bowling 98% short balls (many x in excess of anything that occurred in Bodyline) could hardly be considered sporting either. I think these 2 sides deserve one another on that score but for a neutral, it occasionally adds to the spectacle (Eng's bowling tactics were a borefest).

[Deepsouth]

Australian cricket is the definition of being able to dish it out but being unable to take it back.

Really if we can't take it how is it we are 2-0 up???

Disgraceful scenes at Lords real Wendyball stuff. Really poor sore losers.......

[Paddington Bear]

Australian cricket is the definition of being able to dish it out but being unable to take it back.

Really if we can't take it how is it we are 2-0 up???

Disgraceful scenes at Lords real Wendyball stuff. Really poor sore losers.......

Because your team is good at cricket. That has nothing to do with your inability to take stick despite giving plenty out.

[Torquemada 1420]

Australian cricket is the definition of being able to dish it out but being unable to take it back.

Really if we can't take it how is it we are 2-0 up???

Disgraceful scenes at Lords real Wendyball stuff. Really poor sore losers.......

Last day at Lords. Cheap tickets and at the weekend so no surprise the constitution of the crowd would be more boorish.

[Biffer]

Australian cricket is the definition of being able to dish it out but being unable to take it back.

Really if we can't take it how is it we are 2-0 up???

Disgraceful scenes at Lords real Wendyball stuff. Really poor sore losers.......

Because your team is good at cricket. That has nothing to do with your inability to take stick despite giving plenty out.

Traditional Australian lack of understanding being demonstrated by deep south I think.

[SaintK]

Listen to the boos and jeers......

Really hope we do these pricks 5-0......

Still be utter cunts just like you
Fuck of back under your slimey rock

Are the anguished tears of defeat....

Delicious they are......

Nope. I don't usually give a fuck about cricket
Just don't like trolling wankers like you.
So just slither back into your little hole

[Sandstorm]

Pom crowd thought they had a great chance when Stokes was flying. The inevitable collapse upset them tremendously, but booing just isn’t cricket.

[JM2K6]

Pom crowd thought they had a great chance when Stokes was flying. The inevitable collapse upset them tremendously, but booing just isn’t cricket.

This is an extremely dumb take, given that Stokes didn't start flying until after the wicket and after the booing started.

[Paddington Bear]

Also a really odd belief that cricket is watched in reverential silence that can be disproved by watching just about any game of cricket. The Ashes has a strong case for being the greatest rivalry in sport, it would be weird if the crowd weren’t getting at the Aussies!

The assumption has to be that they heckled the players as cheats, which is also factually true for the majority of then.

[Biffer]

Also a really odd belief that cricket is watched in reverential silence that can be disproved by watching just about any game of cricket. The Ashes has a strong case for being the greatest rivalry in sport, it would be weird if the crowd weren’t getting at the Aussies!

The assumption has to be that they heckled the players as cheats, which is also factually true for the majority of then.

This is one of the key points. Two of the team were banned for a year for premeditated deliberate cheating. They served that penalty, but to pretend that they, and any team they are part of, arent going to get it in the neck if they don't behave in a way that's whiter than white, is pretty fucking dumb.

[Deepsouth]

How can England be this shit? We have heard for 12 months know that this English team is the second coming. Two tests in and listen to the wailing. The dribbling. The double standards. This has a very England 2015 RWC vibes to it. England talking a huge game and then bringing nothing, again.

The impending 5-0 destruction that is now will be a victory long remembered and savoured.

[Biffer]

MCC getting accused of being woke online.

That's the MCC, that didn't allow women members until 1999.

Famously woke

[Deepsouth]

So now Saint Baz won't be sharing a beer with the Australians the poor dear. Of course we won't mention the time St Baz did the same thing as the Australians against lSri Lanka. Or the fact that little old Ollie Pope did a Carey not that long ago against New Zealand. Or that Bairstow attempted the same act against Marnus in this very test match. The pearl clutching and rank hypocrisy is next level.

Shameless.....

[Deepsouth]

Oh and another thing. To those peanuts in the long room. congratulations you have destroyed a fine tradition dating back over 100 years. Because of their actions I wonder how much longer members will be afforded such close proximity to the players.....

[Wyndham Upalot]

Bazza you're a WUM cunt. You revel in it you cunt, cz you're a cunt. You like being a cunt, cz you're a cunt. Guess what you are cunt? Yes, you're a cunt. Happy Christmas cunt, cunt.

[Deepsouth]

Bazza you're a WUM cunt. You revel in it you cunt, cz you're a cunt. You like being a cunt, cz you're a cunt. Guess what you are cunt? Yes, you're a cunt. Happy Christmas cunt, cunt.

Keep crying you simpering peanut. We will just keep doing what we have always done. BEAT YOU

[Gumboot]

I enjoyed Gideon Haigh's description of the members in the Long Room as "puce-faced, dim-bulb snobs."

[Wyndham Upalot]

Bazza you're a WUM cunt. You revel in it you cunt, cz you're a cunt. You like being a cunt, cz you're a cunt. Guess what you are cunt? Yes, you're a cunt. Happy Christmas cunt, cunt.

Keep crying you simpering peanut. We will just keep doing what we have always done. BEAT YOU

Knows ur a cunt. Nice one gentleman, cunt. Tip my hat to ya. Cunt. I'm Welsh, so have no skin in this game, cunt.

[Guy Smiley]

Australia’s winning percentage in tests against England is 58%.

You don’t hear from them when they lose. They come out of the woodwork when they win. The ultimate flat track bullies… pretty spineless behaviour really. It’s not just cricket though… it’s a national trait.

Jellyfish.

[Deepsouth]

Australia’s winning percentage in tests against England is 58%.

You don’t hear from them when they lose. They come out of the woodwork when they win. The ultimate flat track bullies… pretty spineless behaviour really. It’s not just cricket though… it’s a national trait.

Jellyfish.

Oh diddums, did those big bad Australians win again did they.
The absolute horror of it all. Cheer up you ugly little parasite
Rugby season is upon us and you might actually win something.

[Deepsouth]

Bazza you're a WUM cunt. You revel in it you cunt, cz you're a cunt. You like being a cunt, cz you're a cunt. Guess what you are cunt? Yes, you're a cunt. Happy Christmas cunt, cunt.

Keep crying you simpering peanut. We will just keep doing what we have always done. BEAT YOU

Knows ur a cunt. Nice one gentleman, cunt. Tip my hat to ya. Cunt. I'm Welsh, so have no skin in this game, cunt.

Of course not Welsh cunt, you lot were beaten by the English many moons ago

[Biffer]

Aussies being upset about this is hilarious. If you include two known cheats in your squad, you’re going to get pelters any time you linger in the areas of the rules that are a bit grey, or aren’t seen to be completely on the side of sportsmanship.

That’s what happens when you cheat, deliberately and knowingly. It will follow you forever, and tarnish everyone you’re associated with.

[Deepsouth]

Aussies being upset about this is hilarious. If you include two known cheats in your squad, you’re going to get pelters any time you linger in the areas of the rules that are a bit grey, or aren’t seen to be completely on the side of sportsmanship.

That’s what happens when you cheat, deliberately and knowingly. It will follow you forever, and tarnish everyone you’re associated with.

Bullshit. Does it follow Mike Atherton. He cheated. Are the English constantly reminded about it, do Australians sing songs incessantly about it? How about Faf and SA. How about NZ and Chris Cairns?

No it's just the Australians who will be held to account isn't it....

[ASMO]

I just find it all hilarious, i got absolutely no skin in the game, but if what happenned is within the laws of the game then stop moaning and maybe blame the player who was dumb enough to do what he did. This idea of "not within the spirit of the game" died with proffesional sport, its simple really, if you dont want it to happen, make a law against it, otherwise suck it up.

[Biffer]

Aussies being upset about this is hilarious. If you include two known cheats in your squad, you’re going to get pelters any time you linger in the areas of the rules that are a bit grey, or aren’t seen to be completely on the side of sportsmanship.

That’s what happens when you cheat, deliberately and knowingly. It will follow you forever, and tarnish everyone you’re associated with.

Bullshit. Does it follow Mike Atherton. He cheated. Are the English constantly reminded about it, do Australians sing songs incessantly about it? How about Faf and SA. How about NZ and Chris Cairns?

No it's just the Australians who will be held to account isn't it....

Did Atherton get banned for a year? No, got a small fine but it still hangs over him and is raised every single time there’s another allegation against a player.

Cairns has won every trial he was involved in.

Du Plessis didn’t get banned, but it hangs over his reputation. Similar to Atherton, his name comes up all the time.

You seem to be trying to suggest Smith and Warner were only alleged to have been ball tampering. Their actions were clearly the worst ball tampering that has been seen.

[Deepsouth]

Aussies being upset about this is hilarious. If you include two known cheats in your squad, you’re going to get pelters any time you linger in the areas of the rules that are a bit grey, or aren’t seen to be completely on the side of sportsmanship.

That’s what happens when you cheat, deliberately and knowingly. It will follow you forever, and tarnish everyone you’re associated with.

Bullshit. Does it follow Mike Atherton. He cheated. Are the English constantly reminded about it, do Australians sing songs incessantly about it? How about Faf and SA. How about NZ and Chris Cairns?

No it's just the Australians who will be held to account isn't it....

Did Atherton get banned for a year? No, got a small fine but it still hangs over him and is raised every single time there’s another allegation against a player.

Cairns has won every trial he was involved in.

Du Plessis didn’t get banned, but it hangs over his reputation. Similar to Atherton, his name comes up all the time.

You seem to be trying to suggest Smith and Warner were only alleged to have been ball tampering. Their actions were clearly the worst ball tampering that has been seen.

At the end of the day everyone else has done it. No one else had the balls to ban them and the furore over Bairstow is hypocrisy writ large considering he attempted to do the exact same thing earlier in this match. The level of coordinated vitriol and outrage towards the Australians is way above what the aforementioned players and countries ever had to cop.
Just turning into chav Wendyball.

The real story is how can England be this bad when a fortnight ago they were the most revolutionary thing that had ever strode the earth. Hubris much......

[Blackmac]

Of all the threads to get near the depths of the old place, who would have thought it would be the Cricket thread.

[Biffer]

Bullshit. Does it follow Mike Atherton. He cheated. Are the English constantly reminded about it, do Australians sing songs incessantly about it? How about Faf and SA. How about NZ and Chris Cairns?

No it's just the Australians who will be held to account isn't it....

Did Atherton get banned for a year? No, got a small fine but it still hangs over him and is raised every single time there’s another allegation against a player.

Cairns has won every trial he was involved in.

Du Plessis didn’t get banned, but it hangs over his reputation. Similar to Atherton, his name comes up all the time.

You seem to be trying to suggest Smith and Warner were only alleged to have been ball tampering. Their actions were clearly the worst ball tampering that has been seen.

At the end of the day everyone else has done it. No one else had the balls to ban them and the furore over Bairstow is hypocrisy writ large considering he attempted to do the exact same thing earlier in this match. The level of coordinated vitriol and outrage towards the Australians is way above what the aforementioned players and countries ever had to cop.
Just turning into chav Wendyball.

The real story is how can England be this bad when a fortnight ago they were the most revolutionary thing that had ever strode the earth. Hubris much......

Ah, the old excuse that the degree of the offence doesn’t matter. Usually used as a whataboutery excuse by someone who knows their guys has done something much worse but tries to spray the shit they’ve covered themselves in on to everyone else.

And trying to turn this into a thing where the Aussies are the only ones brave enough to take on cheating,

[Deepsouth]

Did Atherton get banned for a year? No, got a small fine but it still hangs over him and is raised every single time there’s another allegation against a player.

Cairns has won every trial he was involved in.

Du Plessis didn’t get banned, but it hangs over his reputation. Similar to Atherton, his name comes up all the time.

You seem to be trying to suggest Smith and Warner were only alleged to have been ball tampering. Their actions were clearly the worst ball tampering that has been seen.

At the end of the day everyone else has done it. No one else had the balls to ban them and the furore over Bairstow is hypocrisy writ large considering he attempted to do the exact same thing earlier in this match. The level of coordinated vitriol and outrage towards the Australians is way above what the aforementioned players and countries ever had to cop.
Just turning into chav Wendyball.

The real story is how can England be this bad when a fortnight ago they were the most revolutionary thing that had ever strode the earth. Hubris much......

Ah, the old excuse that the degree of the offence doesn’t matter. Usually used as a whataboutery excuse by someone who knows their guys has done something much worse but tries to spray the shit they’ve covered themselves in on to everyone else.

And trying to turn this into a thing where the Aussies are the only ones brave enough to take on cheating,

Mate who are you. Get back to me when Scotland gets a Test Team and Country for that matter.

Scotland are a clownshop when it comes to sport

[Paddington Bear]

Of all the threads to get near the depths of the old place, who would have thought it would be the Cricket thread.

To paraphrase something I saw yesterday - cricket is the only sport where a world class professional athlete can be offered out by a member of the aristocracy in a National Trust property

[GogLais]

At the end of the day everyone else has done it. No one else had the balls to ban them and the furore over Bairstow is hypocrisy writ large considering he attempted to do the exact same thing earlier in this match. The level of coordinated vitriol and outrage towards the Australians is way above what the aforementioned players and countries ever had to cop.
Just turning into chav Wendyball.

The real story is how can England be this bad when a fortnight ago they were the most revolutionary thing that had ever strode the earth. Hubris much......

Ah, the old excuse that the degree of the offence doesn’t matter. Usually used as a whataboutery excuse by someone who knows their guys has done something much worse but tries to spray the shit they’ve covered themselves in on to everyone else.

And trying to turn this into a thing where the Aussies are the only ones brave enough to take on cheating,

Mate who are you. Get back to me when Scotland gets a Test Team and Country for that matter.

Scotland are a clownshop when it comes to sport

Oh bugger. I didn’t know you had to be a supporter of a good team to have your posts taken seriously. That’s me (Wales and Tranmere Rovers) ffyked then.

[Deepsouth]

It's called credibility. You think you have some basis of authority to be giving it large to an Australian about cricket for fucks sake. We are the great cricket nation. You on the other hand don't even have a doggys bowl for the scraps off the big boys table. Like a said before how can you take someone seriously when he doesn't even come from a recognised nation state.....

[assfly]

Rassie is available to make a video, if needed.

[Biffer]

At the end of the day everyone else has done it. No one else had the balls to ban them and the furore over Bairstow is hypocrisy writ large considering he attempted to do the exact same thing earlier in this match. The level of coordinated vitriol and outrage towards the Australians is way above what the aforementioned players and countries ever had to cop.
Just turning into chav Wendyball.

The real story is how can England be this bad when a fortnight ago they were the most revolutionary thing that had ever strode the earth. Hubris much......

Ah, the old excuse that the degree of the offence doesn’t matter. Usually used as a whataboutery excuse by someone who knows their guys has done something much worse but tries to spray the shit they’ve covered themselves in on to everyone else.

And trying to turn this into a thing where the Aussies are the only ones brave enough to take on cheating,

Mate who are you. Get back to me when Scotland gets a Test Team and Country for that matter.

Scotland are a clownshop when it comes to sport

Why are you, an aussie, on a rugby board then?

[Biffer]

It's called credibility. You think you have some basis of authority to be giving it large to an Australian about cricket for fucks sake. We are the great cricket nation. You on the other hand don't even have a doggys bowl for the scraps off the big boys table. Like a said before how can you take someone seriously when he doesn't even come from a recognised nation state.....

Credibility. Of which you have none.

[Insane_Homer]

It's called credibility.

here endith the lesson.