Worst film you've ever watched?

[Sandstorm]

As a bit of a Malick fan (up to that point), I took my then girlfriend (now wife) to see that at the cinema.

She still brings it up to this day as a formative moment in our relationship. Thankfully she forgave me.

You two went through the deepest imaginable low right at the beginning of your relationship. Nothing will ever be able to tear you apart.

It was really early in the relationship. I'm paraphrasing, but I think the chat from her after was along the lines of 'what the fuck did I just watch?' and 'dinosaurs?'

We made it though

First date with my wife we went to see The Matrix

[Mahoney]

You must be very old

[sockwithaticket]

First dates at the cinema as a young teen invariably meant seeing some absolute dross. How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days and Chicago are definitely films I wish I could erase (of course if things went well quality of the film didn't really matter...).

[Jim Lahey]

Click, the movie with Adam Sandler.
Saw it in the cinema, absolute shite. Have hated him and everything he's done since.

[Punter15]

Jacob's Ladder.

Took a girlfriend to the cinema to distract/cheer her up on the anniversary of her dad's death. It was not a good choice.

[Slick]

Can't even be bothered to look up the titles, but:

Passion of Christ? Mel Gibson

That one with De Caprio where he wanders around getting more and more dead in the cold woods, fucking shite

[Hellraiser]

6 Underground

Do you know those high-definition shorts they show on the new TVs in electronics departments? Well now imagine instead of it showing a little bit of colourful nature, or some happy couple on a boat in the Med, it showed Michael Bay action scenes one after another. That's 6 Underground. At no point does anything make any sense, it's just boom after boom with the occasional low-angle 360 sweep shots!

I gave up on that one after 20 minutes.

So did I, after I realised that the mission wasn't a first act set up for the actual film, but the film itself. Literally ten minutes in I was thinking this intro scene is dragging on a bit long, after a few more minutes the terrible truth dawned on me.

[Uncle fester]

Can we add all the Speilberg filums when he hit his head and forgot that he was a good action director, instead thinking he was Kubrick?

[Hal Jordan]

My first date with my wife was a trip to see Gangs of New York.

One of the few films I have turned off halfway through was Jackie Brown. Absolute toss.

[TB63]

Can't think for the life of me the name, must've erased it from my memory..

But it involved rescuing someone important from a Russian base, involved a submarine and 6 blokes against an army..

Thought my eyes were watering, but they were bleeding..

[Sandstorm]

Can't think for the life of me the name, must've erased it from my memory..

But it involved rescuing someone important from a Russian base, involved a submarine and 6 blokes against an army..

Thought my eyes were watering, but they were bleeding..

Gerard Butler again....

[sturginho]

you lot certainly seem big fans of Gerard Butler

[Rhubarb & Custard]

There have been worse films, but Shaolin Soccer I actually sat through being on a flight somewhere or other. Doubtful anyone would watch in a cinema or at home, you need a much more captive audience

Risky by the airline having that on their playlist. You could have opened the door at 35k feet to escape.

I could have swapped, but went Magnus Magnusson on it, I've started so I'll finish. But not having anywhere to go was certainly part of continuing to watch.

I prefer reading to watching but reading on a plane I find irksome, and I don't sleep whilst flying, so having film after film blather on is just what passes the time. In that instance it was Shaolin Soccer, Coach Carter and I think Daredevil and we were into JFK. And Daredevil wasn't close to being the worst of the films, not even in the conversation

[TB63]

Can't think for the life of me the name, must've erased it from my memory..

But it involved rescuing someone important from a Russian base, involved a submarine and 6 blokes against an army..

Thought my eyes were watering, but they were bleeding..

Gerard Butler again....

Oh fuck. That's the one. Was very surprised that Oldman was in it, must've been paid Megabucks to appear in tha car crash...

[Sandstorm]

you lot certainly seem big fans of Gerard Butler

Good point. I add Geostorm to the worst ever film. Gerard doesn't give a fuck and I have a sneaky regard for that

Geostorm: Gerard Butler cast as the smartest man on Earth.

[Masterji]

ET,Judge Dredd and transformers.

[Biffer]

Solo

Fucking shite.

[Calculon]

Only film I've walked out on was Velvet Goldmine. Doubt it was the worse film I've ever seen but it did seem a load of wank and I went to the cinema alone. So not a problem to simply leave

[Uncle fester]

ET,Judge Dredd and transformers.

You better not be talking about the Karl Urban version.

[Uncle fester]

Only film I've walked out on was Velvet Goldmine. Doubt it was the worse film I've ever seen but it did seem a load of wank and I went to the cinema alone. So not a problem to simply leave

Too gay for you?

Jonathan Rhys Meyers is one for the "what the hell happened to him?" Column?

[Dinsdale Piranha]

I have tried 3 times to make it through Blue Velvet and have not succeeded yet.

[Insane_Homer]

Anyone bothered with Moonfall?

[Dinsdale Piranha]

Anyone bothered with Moonfall?

It gets a 5.1 on IMDB. That's "OMG who came up with this crap" territory

[boere wors]

I have tried 3 times to make it through Blue Velvet and have not succeeded yet.

Lynch. Love it or hate it i guess.

[sockwithaticket]

ET,Judge Dredd and transformers.

You better not be talking about the Karl Urban version.

Dredd - Karl Urban delivering a masterclass in chin only acting
Judge Dredd - Sylvester Stallone starring abomination

[Sandstorm]

ET,Judge Dredd and transformers.

You better not be talking about the Karl Urban version.

Dredd - Karl Urban delivering a masterclass in chin only acting
Judge Dredd - Sylvester Stallone starring abomination

Stallone’s Dredd 1995 was crap in the first and third parts. However the middle bit “in the wilderness” is great. Even if Rob Schneider is a whiny bitch.

[Calculon]

Only film I've walked out on was Velvet Goldmine. Doubt it was the worse film I've ever seen but it did seem a load of wank and I went to the cinema alone. So not a problem to simply leave

Too gay for you?

Jonathan Rhys Meyers is one for the "what the hell happened to him?" Column?

I really enjoyed Brokeback Mountain so maybe it was the wrong type of gay

[Enzedder]

Ulysses - only film I walked out of.

[C69]

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy the 2011 version.
Shite

[Sandstorm]

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy the 2011 version.
Shite

+1

[boere wors]

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy the 2011 version.
Shite

Thought it was great

[lemonhead]

Necronomicon of mid-90s comes close but the only films (or indeed anything) that genuinely make wrist slitting seem like a good idea are the ones:

You know or suspect are going to be shit
Confirm your worst fears inside the first 10mins
You cannot leave and are forced to sit through every excruciating second

To that end Gone Fishin takes pole. SIncerely hope it made both lead actors a lot of money, cash in advance.

[salanya]

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy the 2011 version.
Shite

Thought it was great

I thought it was decent too...

[dabooldawg]

Olympus / Condor / Tomahawk has fallen are worse movies than Freddy got Fingered? Or anything with Pauly fuck knuckle Shore?

Yeah sure. Gtfo

[Gumboot]

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy the 2011 version.
Shite

Thought it was great

I thought it was decent too...

Yep, me too.

[Sandstorm]

You know or suspect are going to be shit
Confirm your worst fears inside the first 10mins
You cannot leave and are forced to sit through every excruciating second

To that end Gone Fishin takes pole. SIncerely hope it made both lead actors a lot of money, cash in advance.

Unless you were hoping for a ride afterwards, there is ZERO reason to watch this film. Even to put it into the DVD player.



Heh heh - pole.

[Kiwias]

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy the 2011 version.
Shite

I suspect that people who had not seen the BBC series with Alec Guiness would quite like the new movie but those of us who had watched Guiness' version of George Smiley would not be fans of the Gary Oldman version.

[Brazil]

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy the 2011 version.
Shite

I suspect that people who had not seen the BBC series with Alec Guiness would quite like the new movie but those of us who had watched Guiness' version of George Smiley would not be fans of the Gary Oldman version.

I have and I like both. The film has a different texture, plus Mark Strong is more appropriate as Jim Pirdeaux than Ian Bannen was. I like the different characterisations of Ricky Tarr as well. Misses Joss Ackland as Jerry Westerby (though on the basis of The Honourable Schoolboy, that might not have been the most accurate characterisation in the first place).

[Blake]

Battlefield Earth

[Sandstorm]

Battlefield Earth

Good one