Slick wrote: ↑Wed Jan 24, 2024 10:10 am
I've committed to a year off it, no ifs, no buts.
Whenever I've stopped in the past there has always been a possible "out" - maybe i'll drink then, lets see how we go - which leads to the inevitable.
Feeling very comfortable about it and been through the possible pinch points and dismissed them.
The hope of course is that after a year it just becomes my life and I don't consider going back to it. I've heard so many stories from folk of this happening.
Slick wrote: ↑Wed Jan 24, 2024 10:10 am
I've committed to a year off it, no ifs, no buts.
Whenever I've stopped in the past there has always been a possible "out" - maybe i'll drink then, lets see how we go - which leads to the inevitable.
Feeling very comfortable about it and been through the possible pinch points and dismissed them.
The hope of course is that after a year it just becomes my life and I don't consider going back to it. I've heard so many stories from folk of this happening.
Good Luck, Slick
Thanks mate. Still available for rugby "beers" when the time comes!
All the money you made will never buy back your soul
Slick wrote: ↑Wed Jan 24, 2024 10:10 am
I've committed to a year off it, no ifs, no buts.
Whenever I've stopped in the past there has always been a possible "out" - maybe i'll drink then, lets see how we go - which leads to the inevitable.
Feeling very comfortable about it and been through the possible pinch points and dismissed them.
The hope of course is that after a year it just becomes my life and I don't consider going back to it. I've heard so many stories from folk of this happening.
Slick
Good move, my friend. It sounds as if you are not going to make the mistake I made when I stopped for one year ages and ages ago, of effectively starting a countdown from the kick-off until I could drink again.
Seeing kiwias days count earlier made me look up mine, turns out I've gone past 500 days.
I think in the last 300 odd I would have thought I got close to actually having a drink only twice, but the realization of how much better I felt the next day - no hangover for a whole day at least, able to get up when my kids got me up, no hits to the bank account, regrets over dumb behaviour- were big affirmations to keep going sans booze.
Monkey Magic wrote: ↑Thu Jan 25, 2024 1:34 am
Good luck Slick,
Seeing kiwias days count earlier made me look up mine, turns out I've gone past 500 days.
I think in the last 300 odd I would have thought I got close to actually having a drink only twice, but the realization of how much better I felt the next day - no hangover for a whole day at least, able to get up when my kids got me up, no hits to the bank account, regrets over dumb behaviour- were big affirmations to keep going sans booze.
MM
Well done, mate. As you say, the benefits do become clearer and clearer and make it easier to stay sober.
Monkey Magic wrote: ↑Thu Jan 25, 2024 1:34 am
Good luck Slick,
Seeing kiwias days count earlier made me look up mine, turns out I've gone past 500 days.
I think in the last 300 odd I would have thought I got close to actually having a drink only twice, but the realization of how much better I felt the next day - no hangover for a whole day at least, able to get up when my kids got me up, no hits to the bank account, regrets over dumb behaviour- were big affirmations to keep going sans booze.
Slick wrote: ↑Wed Jan 24, 2024 10:10 am
I've committed to a year off it, no ifs, no buts.
Whenever I've stopped in the past there has always been a possible "out" - maybe i'll drink then, lets see how we go - which leads to the inevitable.
Feeling very comfortable about it and been through the possible pinch points and dismissed them.
The hope of course is that after a year it just becomes my life and I don't consider going back to it. I've heard so many stories from folk of this happening.
Slick
Good move, my friend. It sounds as if you are not going to make the mistake I made when I stopped for one year ages and ages ago, of effectively starting a countdown from the kick-off until I could drink again.
Thanks, certainly feels like a very different mindset.
All the money you made will never buy back your soul
Monkey Magic wrote: ↑Thu Jan 25, 2024 1:34 am
Good luck Slick,
Seeing kiwias days count earlier made me look up mine, turns out I've gone past 500 days.
I think in the last 300 odd I would have thought I got close to actually having a drink only twice, but the realization of how much better I felt the next day - no hangover for a whole day at least, able to get up when my kids got me up, no hits to the bank account, regrets over dumb behaviour- were big affirmations to keep going sans booze.
Well done mate.
I think that's a big motivation for me. I know the massive benefits of going 4/5 months and actually making that decision to have the drink, even if planned, was a massive wrench. However, I have heard so many people talk of the the much more heightened benefits after 9 months, a year, etc, that I'm determined not to miss out!
All the money you made will never buy back your soul
I posted a bit on the other place under a different name but thought I'd throw this in for the day that's in it.
Today I am 10 years sober.
The first few months were easily the worst in terms of physical & mental strain though I found that the original version of this thread greatly helped. Knowing that there were other people out there going through something similar and willing each other on was, for me, a great reminder of why I was quitting in the first place.
In terms of negatives, yes I still miss it occasionally, but very very occasionally. What I do miss is more to do with the social side. I am on the spectrum and have always felt outside of any social group that I'd be with (work, sport, etc.). Drinking removed those barriers somewhat & gave me a (probably false) sense of camaraderie. Looking back I believe that a good portion of the reason that I drank was chasing that feeling of being "not different" for want of a better way of putting it and learning to adjust to life without that has been a bigger issue than anything else.
On the positive side I am fitter than at any stage in my life since I started drinking at 16. I have a great relationship with my wife & kids and am still able to enjoy attending live sport without being half hosed for the entire thing. I've moved from being the one who stopped drinking to being one of many who have stopped as they got older. I still go out and have learned how to choose whether or not to fit in. I've saved a fortune by not spending increasingly daft sums of money on drink, taxis, clubs, food & hangovers. All in all it's been a hugely positive experience for me and has brought about a level of self-awareness that I feel has greatly helped in terms of both my professional & personal life.
I know that this may sound like I drank all the Kool Aid - but I remember those first few months of stress having committed to sobriety and wanted to say that for those who are only beginning, or only thinking of beginning the journey, that it's well worth it.
Congratulations on your 10 years. That is a genuine achievement of which you should be very proud.
Thanks for an excellent first-up post in our thread. You have addressed a lot of the issues we all go/went through on our journey and have highlighted the very real benefits we achieve through our sobriety: health, family relationships, money, work, etc.
Kiwias wrote: ↑Tue Jan 30, 2024 11:17 am
Peripheral
Congratulations on your 10 years. That is a genuine achievement of which you should be very proud.
Thanks for an excellent first-up post in our thread. You have addressed a lot of the issues we all go/went through on our journey and have highlighted the very real benefits we achieve through our sobriety: health, family relationships, money, work, etc.
Thanks Kiwias,
I know that a lot of people had said similar over the years, but for anyone reading this and thinking of quitting who wants to get some help or thoughts, the original thread in the other place is really really worth it. An absolute treasure of people being honest, offering help and explaining how something that seems impossible can be made achievable.
Not that this one isn't awesome as well - just there's a lot more years on the other one.
Peripheral wrote: ↑Tue Jan 30, 2024 10:35 am
I posted a bit on the other place under a different name but thought I'd throw this in for the day that's in it.
Today I am 10 years sober.
The first few months were easily the worst in terms of physical & mental strain though I found that the original version of this thread greatly helped. Knowing that there were other people out there going through something similar and willing each other on was, for me, a great reminder of why I was quitting in the first place.
In terms of negatives, yes I still miss it occasionally, but very very occasionally. What I do miss is more to do with the social side. I am on the spectrum and have always felt outside of any social group that I'd be with (work, sport, etc.). Drinking removed those barriers somewhat & gave me a (probably false) sense of camaraderie. Looking back I believe that a good portion of the reason that I drank was chasing that feeling of being "not different" for want of a better way of putting it and learning to adjust to life without that has been a bigger issue than anything else.
On the positive side I am fitter than at any stage in my life since I started drinking at 16. I have a great relationship with my wife & kids and am still able to enjoy attending live sport without being half hosed for the entire thing. I've moved from being the one who stopped drinking to being one of many who have stopped as they got older. I still go out and have learned how to choose whether or not to fit in. I've saved a fortune by not spending increasingly daft sums of money on drink, taxis, clubs, food & hangovers. All in all it's been a hugely positive experience for me and has brought about a level of self-awareness that I feel has greatly helped in terms of both my professional & personal life.
I know that this may sound like I drank all the Kool Aid - but I remember those first few months of stress having committed to sobriety and wanted to say that for those who are only beginning, or only thinking of beginning the journey, that it's well worth it.
Thanks Peripheral, that is genuinely very helpful and much appreciated.
All the money you made will never buy back your soul
Peripheral wrote: ↑Tue Jan 30, 2024 10:35 am
I posted a bit on the other place under a different name but thought I'd throw this in for the day that's in it.
Today I am 10 years sober.
The first few months were easily the worst in terms of physical & mental strain though I found that the original version of this thread greatly helped. Knowing that there were other people out there going through something similar and willing each other on was, for me, a great reminder of why I was quitting in the first place.
In terms of negatives, yes I still miss it occasionally, but very very occasionally. What I do miss is more to do with the social side. I am on the spectrum and have always felt outside of any social group that I'd be with (work, sport, etc.). Drinking removed those barriers somewhat & gave me a (probably false) sense of camaraderie. Looking back I believe that a good portion of the reason that I drank was chasing that feeling of being "not different" for want of a better way of putting it and learning to adjust to life without that has been a bigger issue than anything else.
On the positive side I am fitter than at any stage in my life since I started drinking at 16. I have a great relationship with my wife & kids and am still able to enjoy attending live sport without being half hosed for the entire thing. I've moved from being the one who stopped drinking to being one of many who have stopped as they got older. I still go out and have learned how to choose whether or not to fit in. I've saved a fortune by not spending increasingly daft sums of money on drink, taxis, clubs, food & hangovers. All in all it's been a hugely positive experience for me and has brought about a level of self-awareness that I feel has greatly helped in terms of both my professional & personal life.
I know that this may sound like I drank all the Kool Aid - but I remember those first few months of stress having committed to sobriety and wanted to say that for those who are only beginning, or only thinking of beginning the journey, that it's well worth it.
Thanks Peripheral, that is genuinely very helpful and much appreciated.
Best of luck Slick & genuinely hope it goes well for you.
For my first year I used to keep a running total of approx. how much money I'd saved by not drinking. When it got to $1,000 I bought myself something just for myself that I'd never have considered before, then again at $5,000 and so on. I know it's a bit childish, but it helped me to visualise the change and means now that they represent a real sense of accomplishment for the different stages of this journey.
Kiwias wrote: ↑Tue Jan 30, 2024 11:17 am
Peripheral
Congratulations on your 10 years. That is a genuine achievement of which you should be very proud.
Thanks for an excellent first-up post in our thread. You have addressed a lot of the issues we all go/went through on our journey and have highlighted the very real benefits we achieve through our sobriety: health, family relationships, money, work, etc.
Thanks Kiwias,
I know that a lot of people had said similar over the years, but for anyone reading this and thinking of quitting who wants to get some help or thoughts, the original thread in the other place is really really worth it. An absolute treasure of people being honest, offering help and explaining how something that seems impossible can be made achievable.
Not that this one isn't awesome as well - just there's a lot more years on the other one.
Yes, I find that the honesty of all participants in that and this thread is the key aspect. It is encouraging and humbling.
Seeing some old friends to go to a pub later. Soon in fact.
Our relationship with them used to be everyone getting trashed together and laughing. This was pre kids, mind you. But we lost touch for ages.
They already know I don’t drink and have seen them since. The banter and everything was still there. I think the only actual difference will be that I get taxi duty.
Plus it is a Sunday in any case …
How’s everyone else’s journey been going for the last few months.
Ymx wrote: ↑Sun Mar 17, 2024 5:13 pm
Just a quick check in.
Seeing some old friends to go to a pub later. Soon in fact.
Our relationship with them used to be everyone getting trashed together and laughing. This was pre kids, mind you. But we lost touch for ages.
They already know I don’t drink and have seen them since. The banter and everything was still there. I think the only actual difference will be that I get taxi duty.
Plus it is a Sunday in any case …
How’s everyone else’s journey been going for the last few months.
Great to hear, mate. The bolded part is the key -- highlighting that a good social life is totally feasible even when sober. That itself is encouraging for anyone on the cusp of giving booze up.
Ymx wrote: ↑Sun Mar 17, 2024 5:13 pm
Just a quick check in.
Seeing some old friends to go to a pub later. Soon in fact.
Our relationship with them used to be everyone getting trashed together and laughing. This was pre kids, mind you. But we lost touch for ages.
They already know I don’t drink and have seen them since. The banter and everything was still there. I think the only actual difference will be that I get taxi duty.
Plus it is a Sunday in any case …
How’s everyone else’s journey been going for the last few months.
First ever dry 6N. Have to say it was fine, in fact it was really good. Only one time I got a bit pissed off was after the England game and being in town with a lot going on and having to excuse myself and go home. However, HKCJ made that very easy for me to do, like the good lad he is.
All the money you made will never buy back your soul
Ymx wrote: ↑Sun Mar 17, 2024 5:13 pm
Just a quick check in.
Seeing some old friends to go to a pub later. Soon in fact.
Our relationship with them used to be everyone getting trashed together and laughing. This was pre kids, mind you. But we lost touch for ages.
They already know I don’t drink and have seen them since. The banter and everything was still there. I think the only actual difference will be that I get taxi duty.
Plus it is a Sunday in any case …
How’s everyone else’s journey been going for the last few months.
First ever dry 6N. Have to say it was fine, in fact it was really good. Only one time I got a bit pissed off was after the England game and being in town with a lot going on and having to excuse myself and go home. However, HKCJ made that very easy for me to do, like the good lad he is.
Well done mate
I will have the odd Guinness zero when the rugby is on. But stay away from any 0.5% stuff.
But after a while with people carrying on, there definitely becomes a time to press the bail out button.
Ymx wrote: ↑Sun Mar 17, 2024 5:13 pm
Just a quick check in.
Seeing some old friends to go to a pub later. Soon in fact.
Our relationship with them used to be everyone getting trashed together and laughing. This was pre kids, mind you. But we lost touch for ages.
They already know I don’t drink and have seen them since. The banter and everything was still there. I think the only actual difference will be that I get taxi duty.
Plus it is a Sunday in any case …
How’s everyone else’s journey been going for the last few months.
First ever dry 6N. Have to say it was fine, in fact it was really good. Only one time I got a bit pissed off was after the England game and being in town with a lot going on and having to excuse myself and go home. However, HKCJ made that very easy for me to do, like the good lad he is.
Good to hear that and good to hear that HKCJ is still in good form. I must admit that I will be with my team for the first part of the evening but then head home as they move on to the next bar, then the next one.
Ymx wrote: ↑Sun Mar 17, 2024 5:13 pm
Just a quick check in.
Seeing some old friends to go to a pub later. Soon in fact.
Our relationship with them used to be everyone getting trashed together and laughing. This was pre kids, mind you. But we lost touch for ages.
They already know I don’t drink and have seen them since. The banter and everything was still there. I think the only actual difference will be that I get taxi duty.
Plus it is a Sunday in any case …
How’s everyone else’s journey been going for the last few months.
First ever dry 6N. Have to say it was fine, in fact it was really good. Only one time I got a bit pissed off was after the England game and being in town with a lot going on and having to excuse myself and go home. However, HKCJ made that very easy for me to do, like the good lad he is.
Well done mate
I will have the odd Guinness zero when the rugby is on. But stay away from any 0.5% stuff.
But after a while with people carrying on, there definitely becomes a time to press the bail out button.
Thanks mate, I'm quite into my NA beers, up to 0.5%. The issue is that most bars just have the generic shite and I won't pay £6 for a bottle of Heineken or whatever. My local has an NA tap which it rotates and is great for sitting down with mates and having a pint.
It's quite amazing how quickly alcohol does affect people and change the dynamic, but I'm pretty comfortable with pressing the bail button when it starts to grate. And that smug feeling the next morning is quite intoxicating as well
All the money you made will never buy back your soul
Ymx wrote: ↑Sun Mar 17, 2024 5:13 pm
Just a quick check in.
Seeing some old friends to go to a pub later. Soon in fact.
Our relationship with them used to be everyone getting trashed together and laughing. This was pre kids, mind you. But we lost touch for ages.
They already know I don’t drink and have seen them since. The banter and everything was still there. I think the only actual difference will be that I get taxi duty.
Plus it is a Sunday in any case …
How’s everyone else’s journey been going for the last few months.
First ever dry 6N. Have to say it was fine, in fact it was really good. Only one time I got a bit pissed off was after the England game and being in town with a lot going on and having to excuse myself and go home. However, HKCJ made that very easy for me to do, like the good lad he is.
Good to hear that and good to hear that HKCJ is still in good form. I must admit that I will be with my team for the first part of the evening but then head home as they move on to the next bar, then the next one.
Yup, he's still on good form and speaks very fondly of you.
All the money you made will never buy back your soul
Slick wrote: ↑Wed Apr 10, 2024 8:58 am
100 days aff it today.
Done this before and was quite exhilarated by the "100 days", but just another day this time really, hopefully a mental change.
Still bloody knackered all the time though.
slick
Good onya, mate. I definitely found my mindset change over time from the very early days when just staying sober took so much fucking energy that at times my wife complained that I was just as grumpy and short-tempered sober as I had been when I was drinking.
Then it started to change as the intensity of the desire to have a drink started to decline and the awareness of the benefits started to become stronger
Meant to say, I passed the 6 month mark a couple of weeks ago.
It seems pretty normal now and I felt a new layer of fog lift around the 5 month mark, which was nice, and hoping for more of that.
I don't miss the booze very often, the odd twinge perhaps when my wife pulls out a nice bottle of red when we have friends over maybe and I do look ahead to some events and think "well that would be more fun if I just got pissed for the day", but it's usually a quickly passing thought.
I have been pulling out of days/nights out when I know I just wouldn't enjoy it with everyone else getting pissed and I guess this has to change in the long run, but I'm pretty comfortable with it for now.
A great thing that has happened is that I've slowly found out that there are quite a few members of my wild swimming/dipping group that are non drinkers - some I would never have guessed. It's a very social group so we are organising a few AF nights out to gigs and pub crawls to pubs that have AF on draft, which is great.
All the money you made will never buy back your soul
Good on all of you. When the kids were younger we used to have to attend loads of dinner parties at other parents homes (we never hosted as people didn't want an alcohol free experience), I can tell you as a non drinker that drunks are some of the most boring and aggressive people, I used to dread these events. Some of the blokes were absolutely fine if you got them sober, but mostly they never were.
epwc wrote: ↑Thu Jul 11, 2024 12:24 pm
Good on all of you. When the kids were younger we used to have to attend loads of dinner parties at other parents homes (we never hosted as people didn't want an alcohol free experience), I can tell you as a non drinker that drunks are some of the most boring and aggressive people, I used to dread these events. Some of the blokes were absolutely fine if you got them sober, but mostly they never were.
Yeah, it’s not easy, so as I said above, just trying to remove myself from the situation at the moment.
The main thing for me is that we all know people change when they are pissed, but how quickly that change starts to happen absolutely amazes me. A couple of pints makes a massive difference and I never knew!
All the money you made will never buy back your soul
Well done on your journey thus far and it is clear that you are becoming keenly aware of the benefits of being sober. I can bet that your family will be overjoyed that you are succeeding as being sober makes the world of difference to the general stability of the home atmosphere.
I've been a drinker for - gee, 30 years, I guess since I started going out for parties at high school when I was 15 or so.
A wake-up call from the doctor around my ferritin levels late last year, along with some personal reflection about my behaviour/state of mind after knocking a few back has prompted a change of approach.
Despite having about 100 bottles of wine in the rack (and 10 bottles of pretty good quality whisky & other spirits), a couple of months ago I decided that there was nothing positive to be gained from solo drinking at home (I live by myself in a three-bedroom house). It was too easy to open another bottle and completely ruin the next day plus it wasn't doing much for my mental health either.
Since making that call in mid-May & telling a few other people about my decision so I have some accountability, I haven't actually missed it that much. I'm still going to the pub for a few drinks with friends (for example two glasses of nice wine on Friday night with work colleagues), but even then, I'm not really feeling the need to press on for a big night/weekend - other than when I'm catching up with old mates, which only happens a few times a year.
Had a few at my local yesterday afternoon with a fellow barfly there, and as we were weighing up whether to have another beer about an hour or so after the game, I said to him "I don't see the point".
Now I just need to sort out my current sciatica issues and take the opportunity to get fit.
I'm a regular reader of this thread and the one on PR, and while I don't tend to post, it's certainly been good food for thought.
That was a very thoughful, considered post, mate. I reckon that age and health are pretty big factors in causing most people to examine their drinking patterns, but that was also a gene I obviously did not get. Drinking sensibly the way you are now doing is something I just could never achieve. Good luck.
A wake-up call from the doctor around my ferritin levels late last year, along with some personal reflection about my behaviour/state of mind after knocking a few back has prompted a change of approach.
Have you had a Haemochromatosis test?
NZ would be a high incidence country due to immigration from the UK
A wake-up call from the doctor around my ferritin levels late last year, along with some personal reflection about my behaviour/state of mind after knocking a few back has prompted a change of approach.
Have you had a Haemochromatosis test?
NZ would be a high incidence country due to immigration from the UK
Yep. Dad has it but the test determined I'm not a carrier or whatever (mum didn't carry that gene).
It's a shame really - I would have had an excuse for the high levels!
A wake-up call from the doctor around my ferritin levels late last year, along with some personal reflection about my behaviour/state of mind after knocking a few back has prompted a change of approach.
Have you had a Haemochromatosis test?
NZ would be a high incidence country due to immigration from the UK
Yep. Dad has it but the test determined I'm not a carrier or whatever (mum didn't carry that gene).
It's a shame really - I would have had an excuse for the high levels!
I think I've been on here a few times flirting with giving up the booze, but I'm currently into my 3rd week off it. I wouldn't have said I had a major problem with booze, more that I just disliked being hungover as I'm too busy, didn't like getting sloppy on big nights, ans it really interfered with my training.
I've gotten through 3 work/social events in the last fortnight when I would have definitely been getting sloshed at, by drinking NA beer, plus avoided the casual beers in the house. I've also given up the nicotine snus pouches as well from the same period.
So far I've felt fantastic as a result. Head is getting clearer every day. Sleeping A LOT better. Energy levels are steadier throughout the day.
Its been great, it really has. Early days though. My confidence is growing that I can keep this up long term but will keep taking every day as it comes.
Getting a bit ahead of myself here I know, but I'm slightly anxious about a golf weekend I have coming up in November with some mates from school. I have zero doubt in my mind that it will be a 3-day bender as the lads just love getting on it when they are away from their wives and kids. I really don't want to waste a few days being pissed/hungover, but also don't want to exclude myself from hanging out with my mates, so going to have to put in a big effort! I'm toying with the idea of just coming clean and saying Lads, I'm off it, and taking the 10mins of sledging before they stop caring, or making up some bollocks about being on antibiotics or something, just to get through the weekend, until I've fully established myself as a non-drinker.
The former is obviously the right approach I know, but the 2nd is the path of least resistence. Leaning more toward the former tbf.
I was like that giving up smoking. We have a huge party under the barn every summer, that used to be the killer for me, at some stage I'd end up poncing a fag off someone and then....
