What is your identity?

[Hugo]

In this modern era people are more acutely aware of their identity than ever before, whether it is defined by race, class, nationality, gender, sexual orientation or any other form. Identity is a major driving force in politics and also social discourse.

What would you say is your primary identity? It's something that I have personally been pondering long and hard over the course of 2020 and I have yet to land on the one definitive identity that usurps all others.

I'm white but so are zillions of people in countries I have never visited and have nothing in common with so that's out the window.

I'm English but out and out nationalism has always been a tad limiting in my estimation, its a bit too tribal for my tastebuds. Moreover, I have a decent amount of Celtic blood (from my Dad's side of the family) so I've never been all in on the Englishness front and I'm not one of those "I'm Scottish because my grandmother is from Edinburgh" types either.

In terms of political ideology, I'm right wing on some issues, left wing on others so nailing down a hard and fast political ID is pretty much impossible. Also, I've never really seen the point in political partisanship.

In religious terms I'm Church of England by upbringing and I do embrace that but I'm very moderate/secular about how I observe my religion so it's not something I make a fuss about.

Sexual orientation and gender seem pretty pointless as determinants of identity. I'm male and heterosexual but it's silly to make a song & dance about that imo.

What I arrived at was that when's all said and done, about the best way of identifying someone is imo by looking at their passions, hobbies and pastimes. The things you do in your spare time give a much clearer insight into who you really are as a person. Even stuff like your record collection would be more enlightening. The race, religion, gender stuff seems pretty superficial by comparison but I'd be curious to know if people feel differently.

[mat the expat]

Human, resident of the 3rd planet in the Solar System

[Saint]

I'm always puzzled when people try to force me to pigeon hole me in some form. I genuinely don't think in these terms

[Dan54]

That's a thing I ahve kind of thought about . In NZ for intance a lot of people of maori heritage call consider themselves Tangata Whenua, kind of meaning the original people of the land, and I descrabed myself as Pakeha Whenua, I am a pakeha who identifies himself with being a NZer and nothing else. I know I have ancestors from ireland, England etc etc, but don't in anyway think I identify with any of those countries.
I suppose I am Anglican, but not particularly religous or otherwise.
Also with politics, probably first 30-40 years of life would indentify myself as a Labour voter , but then maybe a little more right wing. One thing I do really believe we need all sides of politics to get balance as I don't think there is one party I can think of I would want ruling without having to answer to opposition in some form whether they are from laft, right are greenies,etc etc.
Try my hardest to see other people's point of view and from experience know that trying to run/organise anything whether it rugby, cricket, education etc , there are always plenty of people who think they know a lot more than the ones running it, and usually are people who don't really do all that much to actually make things better.
So to some up I am a NZer (and probably more one eyed than I should be), I enjoy sport in general, but rugby has been my primary sport for about 60 years (too young before that) followed by cricket , have been involved Coaching, managing and administrating rugby and pottered around a bit in junior cricket. Hack my way a little on gold course, but am not and never will be much good or interested in much more than 9 holes. Music my first love is Blues from the 1930s until now have alswys enjoyed it even before I knew what blues music was, also like folk as well (actually think I like most original music from countires) as more mainstream rock , but nothing apart from heavy/thrash metal would ever be dismissed.
main things in life that piss me off is lack of respect for others, find it hard to talk to racists, homophobics and anyone who rubbishes anyone elses opinions.
Probably I am a boring middle of the road person that is never going to change world. Ans would add my one belief is whanau comes first.

[FujiKiwi]

A huge part of my identity is my career. I’m sure most people are the same. I’m a high school English teacher.

[Kiwias]

My adult life can be divided cleanly into two parts, which largely determine my identity.

Part I: 20 ~ 50 when I was drinking and was a flat-out hard-core alcoholic, lying constantly to all the people near to me and treating them like shit, and maintaining distance from everyone else, meaning I never built any close friendships and destroyed the ones I already had.

Part II: From 11 January 2004, when I admitted my alcoholism, started attending a support group, and swore to maintain my sobriety for the rest of my life. This required a journey of self-discovery that hurt deeply for much of the time but opened my heart to my family and helped restore relationships I had thought far past being able to be rebuilt. I have been blessed with a loving and supporting wife, a big-hearted and generous son and now three utterly gorgeous grandchildren who will never see their granddad as the despicable, abusive person he becomes when drunk.

Life in Part II is good.

[Ymx]

No offence kiwias, but you should be self defined by more than not abusing a substance. I appreciate the significance of the change however. More so as I’ve binned drinking too, due to a heavy dependence on it.

[FujiKiwi]

Yeah but we’re defined by tons of things. Not just one. I think Kiwias being an over comer of his demons and being a man with a fresh start would make sense as a source identity for him. Or part of it.

[Insane_Homer]

Earthling, part-time asshole.

[tabascoboy]

Otaku

[Ymx]

Yeah but we’re defined by tons of things. Not just one. I think Kiwias being an over comer of his demons and being a man with a fresh start would make sense as a source identity for him. Or part of it.

Fair enough. A crusader against the evils of alcoholism would be one of his bullet points. Just don’t think it should be his only one, and perhaps not his top one.

But then again, who am I to tell him how he should view himself

[GogLais]

Having got to 70+ I suppose society defines me by my age now, whether I like it or not.

[Kawazaki]

[Lemoentjie]

I was assigned male at birth, but I became:

[Kiwias]

No offence kiwias, but you should be self defined by more than not abusing a substance. I appreciate the significance of the change however. More so as I’ve binned drinking too, due to a heavy dependence on it.

My explanation was a little light. My sobriety is the bedrock of my life, enabling all the good things that have happened and that I have achieved, so in that sense being sober is core to my identity.

For me, it is far more than just not abusing alcohol; it is about reclaiming my life and identity, and giving myself a chance to live a decent life.

[Kiwias]

Yeah but we’re defined by tons of things. Not just one. I think Kiwias being an over comer of his demons and being a man with a fresh start would make sense as a source identity for him. Or part of it.

Fair enough. A crusader against the evils of alcoholism would be one of his bullet points. Just don’t think it should be his only one, and perhaps not his top one.

But then again, who am I to tell him how he should view himself

As I explained in my earlier answer, being sober is the top one because everything else flows from that.

[Niegs]

I was assigned male at birth, but I became:

Oh, you're Apache? I'm part Kiowa!

[Guy Smiley]

Yeah but we’re defined by tons of things. Not just one. I think Kiwias being an over comer of his demons and being a man with a fresh start would make sense as a source identity for him. Or part of it.

Fair enough. A crusader against the evils of alcoholism would be one of his bullet points. Just don’t think it should be his only one, and perhaps not his top one.

But then again, who am I to tell him how he should view himself

As I explained in my earlier answer, being sober is the top one because everything else flows from that.

Anyone managing to overcome a heavy habit or addiction to a behaviour influencing substance like alcohol is bound to experience quite a profound shift in their perceptions... of everything. Your whole life has to change as a result because your perceptions change. Our awareness of self is a massively understated aspect of our lives and it’s not a finite phenomenon. We start out as kids with no real self awareness, that develops as we grow. For some, that development will stall at various stages and a limited self awareness will result. For others, the pursuit of self awareness will become a goal in itself. I have friends who have practised meditation for years... their awareness of themselves and their world is far removed from what it was when we were all hitting the piss and charging around South Canterbury like mad bastards.

I think people like Kiwias, who take on the challenge of confronting their own behaviour through addiction deserve a massive pat on the back. There’s a whole universe of awakenings that can follow... and I hate the whole ‘personal journey’ sort of language that gets bandied about but it’s hard to avoid the theme of discovery that permeates this kind of endeavour.


What’s my identity? Bugger that... what the fuck is my consciousness and where does it end?

[Hal Jordan]

I'm Brian and so's my wife.

[yermum]

I am a meat popsicle.

[Flockwitt]

What I arrived at was that when's all said and done, about the best way of identifying someone is imo by looking at their passions, hobbies and pastimes. The things you do in your spare time give a much clearer insight into who you really are as a person. Even stuff like your record collection would be more enlightening. The race, religion, gender stuff seems pretty superficial by comparison but I'd be curious to know if people feel differently.

FFS, if you want to say you're a nerd and trainspotter out with it! No need to beat around the bush or require a thousand mile run up. We're all empathic understanding types here.

[LandOTurk]

I don't think you can tie your identity to one or a few things.

I am male Welsh hetero generally left wing economic, right wing social religious. Of my inner circle of friends (about 6) not 1 identifies exactly on all 5 of these points.

It reminds me of a lengthy youtube vid I saw (but now can't find).

It was a little bit like this one: https://www.fastcompany.com/3063674/wat ... na-results

But the most interesting bit was when they asked people to segregate by nation or skin colour etc. Then asked them to segregate by circumstance or hobby e.g. what sport do you like? who lost a parent when still a child? whose parent's divorced as a child? who has had cancer? who plays a musical instrument? who speaks multiple languages? who likes to cook? Who is unemployed? who has been to jail? who is gay? who suffers from depression? Then the barriers came down because these people could relate to each other better than if you are just two Brits once you peel the first layer away. And it was a strong emotional way to describe how we are complex pieces that make up our whole that does not mean you can identify into a small number of boxes.

If anyone can find the full vid that would be great. Cheers,

[LandOTurk]

In real life, Leslie Nielsen's mother was Welsh born and emigrated to Canada.

[Gypo Jenkins]

Back in the days when town and city centres were populated, I'd take a seat at the window of a cafe or bar, a bite to eat, something to swill it down with and just watch the diversity of passers by, all of whom i'd imagine as having a speech bubble hovering over them saying... "This is who I think I am" as they strode on by.

Identity is a strange thing, for me it is a bit like peeling an onion because it quickly becomes a question of where do you draw the line? I guess you have to stop somewhere before every label is discarded, there's no onion left and you begin to realise that the further down that hole you go, the more likely you are to determine that beyond the tags, nobody really knows who they are.

[MungoMan]

I identify as [Firstname (shortened version)] [Lastname] or [Firstname ] [Middlename] [Lastname] as appropriate to the circumstances. I may also give my date of birth and address.

To date this has been a tactical success.

[mat the expat]

I identify as [Firstname (shortened version)] [Lastname] or [Firstname ] [Middlename] [Lastname] as appropriate to the circumstances. I may also give my date of birth and address.

To date this has been a tactical success.

With an "o" on the end?

[Jimmy Smallsteps]

I identify as [Firstname (shortened version)] [Lastname] or [Firstname ] [Middlename] [Lastname] as appropriate to the circumstances. I may also give my date of birth and address.

To date this has been a tactical success.

With an "o" on the end?

If not an 'o', then almost certainly a 'y'.

[Gumboot]

What is identity?

https://edition.cnn.com/2020/12/11/asia ... l-hnk-dst/

[Enzedder]

My identity is not knowing my identity, not caring that I don't know my identity because it really doesn't matter to anyone but me - and I don't care.

[Gumboot]

[FujiKiwi]

I’m a boredie. Since 2012.

[Hugo]

I don't think you can tie your identity to one or a few things.

I am male Welsh hetero generally left wing economic, right wing social religious. Of my inner circle of friends (about 6) not 1 identifies exactly on all 5 of these points.

It reminds me of a lengthy youtube vid I saw (but now can't find).

It was a little bit like this one: https://www.fastcompany.com/3063674/wat ... na-results

But the most interesting bit was when they asked people to segregate by nation or skin colour etc. Then asked them to segregate by circumstance or hobby e.g. what sport do you like? who lost a parent when still a child? whose parent's divorced as a child? who has had cancer? who plays a musical instrument? who speaks multiple languages? who likes to cook? Who is unemployed? who has been to jail? who is gay? who suffers from depression? Then the barriers came down because these people could relate to each other better than if you are just two Brits once you peel the first layer away. And it was a strong emotional way to describe how we are complex pieces that make up our whole that does not mean you can identify into a small number of boxes.

If anyone can find the full vid that would be great. Cheers,

Thanks for that, that's a really insightful observation, identity is heavily influenced by experience.

As far as the friends go I'm with you on that, I have friends on the left and right and my views don't perfectly align with anyone's.

[MungoMan]

I identify as [Firstname (shortened version)] [Lastname] or [Firstname ] [Middlename] [Lastname] as appropriate to the circumstances. I may also give my date of birth and address.

To date this has been a tactical success.

With an "o" on the end?

Not quite. My abbreviated first name ends with a sibilant. OTOH, the last syllable of my last name sounds like ‘o’, so I scrape thru’ the Strayanness test.

[Slick]

I don't really understand the question

[Torquemada 1420]

I'm........... complicated.

[Un Pilier]

Solid bloke most of the time. Lots of friends. Life and soul and stuff.

BUT! Getting less tolerant by the day and it’s always been best not to piss me off, really.

[lemonhead]

Blunderer.

Though over time have learned to pick up the things I've knocked over.