The Official Cricket Thread

[Paddington Bear]

Archer is a 12 at the moment. Only Foakes and Root have seemed to have a clue what to do, Foakes gets 10 balls before he's batting with the tail. Meanwhile the openers were always on borrowed time, Bairstow has already checked in for his flight home and Stokes try as he might can't play Ashwin.

[Torquemada 1420]

Comedy from Jofra, who should never bat higher than 10.

The new Devon.

[GogLais]

Not a lot to be done about that. Finished in two days, maybe even the BCCI will be a little embarrassed about that. May as well go down swinging now.

Broadcasters and advertisers aren't going to be very impressed. Unless they pay by the hour.

[ScarfaceClaw]

Yes man! Hope India wraps this up by 10 wickets

Christ no. I want to see a Kohli first ball duck at minimum. Maybe even run out without facing a ball.

[Torquemada 1420]

Yes man! Hope India wraps this up by 10 wickets

Christ no. I want to see a Kohli first ball duck at minimum. Maybe even run out without facing a ball.

Ganguly has retired so seems unlikely.

[ScarfaceClaw]

Yes man! Hope India wraps this up by 10 wickets

Christ no. I want to see a Kohli first ball duck at minimum. Maybe even run out without facing a ball.

Ganguly has retired so seems unlikely.

I can still hope. Foakes gone.

[Torquemada 1420]

Anyone enlighten me? Was 112 Eng's lowest ever 1st innings total in India? In which case will be some new record to set lowest evers in successive innings?

[JM2K6]

Crazy how often the ball flies up in the air or someone has to jam the bat down, to go with the occasional mad spin. And the one that kicks on.

[Torquemada 1420]

Borad with open ticket to swing at everything now.

[ScarfaceClaw]

Leach gone at 1st slip. This is day 2 ffs.

[Thor Sedan]

Apologies for the Leach wicket - I just turned the TV on for a lunchtime watch session.

[JM2K6]

Jimmy goes to defend a full ball and it spins a couple of feet and bounces so high the slip has to leap for it

[Torquemada 1420]

If I were India, I'd open with one player given the green to long handle at everything.

[Thor Sedan]

20 ball 50 for Broad?

[Torquemada 1420]

Jimmy goes to defend a full ball and it spins a couple of feet and bounces so high the slip has to leap for it

Maybe should have spent a bit more on the wicket and a little less on advertising hoardings.

[ScarfaceClaw]

Jimmy goes to defend a full ball and it spins a couple of feet and bounces so high the slip has to leap for it

That absolute fizzed off the pitch.

[JM2K6]

Jimmy out reverse sweeping directly to the keeper, which is an appropriate way to end the innings.

[Torquemada 1420]

Anyone enlighten me? Was 112 Eng's lowest ever 1st innings total in India? In which case will be some new record to set lowest evers in successive innings?

Lowest was Bombay in '82 = 102.
{EDIT} So a new low.

[ScarfaceClaw]

Pammy goes with a solid attempt at a reverse sweep.

[Torquemada 1420]

49 to win then?

[Paddington Bear]

Take 4 or 5 with us to make a point

[ScarfaceClaw]

49 to win then?

49 needed. India will get there with seven wickets down.

[Torquemada 1420]

49 to win then?

49 needed. India will get there with seven wickets down.

A career at the Treasury awaits you sir.

{EDIT} You did type 45, right?

[Torquemada 1420]

Another ugly stat

England's match aggregate of 193 is the lowest by any team in India,

[Thor Sedan]

No way this is a done deal......sitting here with a stupid grin on my face knowing that it is going to get bats**t crazy.

[Thor Sedan]

Tell you what though - Foakes is a sh*thot keeper.

[ScarfaceClaw]

49 to win then?

49 needed. India will get there with seven wickets down.

A career at the Treasury awaits you sir.

{EDIT} You did type 45, right?

This is where I evade the question and tell an unrelated anecdote about Perseus or a more obscure classical character before just saying get it done three times.

[Torquemada 1420]

Tell you what though - Foakes is a sh*thot keeper.

Yours I believe.

[Torquemada 1420]

PS. Don't say I didn't tell you so about using feet to get to pitch of the ball.

[Torquemada 1420]

Desperate: miles over

[ScarfaceClaw]

England are bowling quite full. It’s allowing the batters to smother the spin too easily.

[JM2K6]

PS. Don't say I didn't tell you so about using feet to get to pitch of the ball.

If only India had bowled part-time bowlers at us, eh

[Torquemada 1420]

England are bowling quite full. It’s allowing the batters to smother the spin too easily.

At least in part the Indian batsmen were moving their feet and so making the balls play as fuller.

[Torquemada 1420]

PS. Don't say I didn't tell you so about using feet to get to pitch of the ball.

If only India had bowled part-time bowlers at us, eh

Yeah. Whatever. Rohit and Gill have just made England's tactics look as lame as they were.

Root to Gill, SIX runs

flighted on off stump, Gill charges down the track, gets close to this pitch of this on off and belts it over mid-on. Good old whack for the third six in this Test

[JM2K6]

PS. Don't say I didn't tell you so about using feet to get to pitch of the ball.

If only India had bowled part-time bowlers at us, eh

Yeah. Whatever. Rohit and Gill have just made England's tactics look as lame as they were.

Root to Gill, SIX runs

flighted on off stump, Gill charges down the track, gets close to this pitch of this on off and belts it over mid-on. Good old whack for the third six in this Test

Were you actually watching the coverage? They stayed in their crease the majority of the time, and neither Root nor (to a lesser extent) Leach were bowling accurately or with pace. It was bowling to end the game, not win it.

But hey, congrats to Rohit and Gill for knocking off a tiny total, thus totally discrediting the previous 3 innings or something.

[Torquemada 1420]

Were you actually watching the coverage? They stayed in their crease the majority of the time, and neither Root nor (to a lesser extent) Leach were bowling accurately or with pace. It was bowling to end the game, not win it.

But hey, congrats to Rohit and Gill for knocking off a tiny total, thus totally discrediting the previous 3 innings or something.

You can have as many hissy sulks as you like. Comical because I didn't want India to win either. Changes nothing in regards England batted like cretins for the conditions. India's spinners being the real thing
altered nothing in that regard. Maybe the opposite i.e. all the more reason not to stay rooted to the crease.

As an aside, wonder if Eng would have rested Anderson for the last test if they knew this joke surface was waiting down the road.

[Torquemada 1420]

This sums it up perfectly

Root to Gill, no run

Gill uses his feet, Root drags his length back and fires it much faster. Gill simply pads up to it and offers no shot. Is this threatening the stumps? Umpire Menon is right again, ball-tracking confirms this is bouncing over the stumps

The only way he was getting out was if he screwed the padding up and the ball passed the bat AND it was taken sharp enough to stump him. That far down, unlikely any ump is going to give LBW so how many reviews do you have?

Root caused mayhem in the Indian 1st innings. At least India learned.

[Calculon]

Haven't really followed this match or tour but what's the reason for England going in with only one frontline spinner?

[Insane_Homer]

Haven't really followed this match or tour but what's the reason for England going in with only one frontline spinner?

Pammy cleaned up in the first test?

[Sandstorm]

Haven't really followed this match or tour but what's the reason for England going in with only one frontline spinner?

Shithouse England


Root: " Going into the game, seeing how the pink ball had seamed around and swung around at practice, we thought that this surface will hold together (on picking just one frontline spinner)."