Last year I joined a support group for anti-social people.
We haven't met yet
The Joke Thread
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Marylandolorian
- Posts: 1326
- Joined: Thu Jul 02, 2020 2:47 pm
- Location: Amerikanuak
This will bring back funny memories to some of us.
In 1986, John Reid was on Safari in Kenya after graduating from Trinity College Dublin.
On a hike through the bush he came across a young bull elephant with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so John approached it carefully. He got down on one knee and somehow managed to inspect the elephant's foot of which he found there to be a piece of wood embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, John managed to work the wood out with his Bowie knife. Then the elephant gingerly put down his foot.
The elephant turned to face the man with a curious look on its face and stared at him for a number of tense moments. John stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. John never forgot the elephant or the events that day.
Twenty years later John was walking through Dublin Zoo with his teenage son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures walked over to near where John and his son Ricky were standing. The large bull elephant stared at John, lifted his front foot off the ground, then put it down.
The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, John couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. John summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped his trunk around John's left leg and slammed him against the railing killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same fucking elephant.
On a hike through the bush he came across a young bull elephant with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so John approached it carefully. He got down on one knee and somehow managed to inspect the elephant's foot of which he found there to be a piece of wood embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, John managed to work the wood out with his Bowie knife. Then the elephant gingerly put down his foot.
The elephant turned to face the man with a curious look on its face and stared at him for a number of tense moments. John stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away. John never forgot the elephant or the events that day.
Twenty years later John was walking through Dublin Zoo with his teenage son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures walked over to near where John and his son Ricky were standing. The large bull elephant stared at John, lifted his front foot off the ground, then put it down.
The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.
Remembering the encounter in 1986, John couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. John summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped his trunk around John's left leg and slammed him against the railing killing him instantly.
Probably wasn't the same fucking elephant.
I drink and I forget things.
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Marylandolorian
- Posts: 1326
- Joined: Thu Jul 02, 2020 2:47 pm
- Location: Amerikanuak
A little girl complained to her father, "Daddy, I wish I had a little sister!"
Trying to be funny, her father joked, "But honey, you already have a sister!"
Confused, she asked, "I do?"
“Sure," her dad said, "You don't see her because every time you come in the front door, she scoots out the back door!"
The confused toddler thought for a moment and then beamed, "You mean just like my other daddy?"
Trying to be funny, her father joked, "But honey, you already have a sister!"
Confused, she asked, "I do?"
“Sure," her dad said, "You don't see her because every time you come in the front door, she scoots out the back door!"
The confused toddler thought for a moment and then beamed, "You mean just like my other daddy?"
Marylandolorian wrote: Wed Mar 26, 2025 11:21 am A little girl complained to her father, "Daddy, I wish I had a little sister!"
Trying to be funny, her father joked, "But honey, you already have a sister!"
Confused, she asked, "I do?"
“Sure," her dad said, "You don't see her because every time you come in the front door, she scoots out the back door!"
The confused toddler thought for a moment and then beamed, "You mean just like my other daddy?"
Sandstorm wrote: Wed Mar 26, 2025 11:25 amMarylandolorian wrote: Wed Mar 26, 2025 11:21 am A little girl complained to her father, "Daddy, I wish I had a little sister!"
Trying to be funny, her father joked, "But honey, you already have a sister!"
Confused, she asked, "I do?"
“Sure," her dad said, "You don't see her because every time you come in the front door, she scoots out the back door!"
The confused toddler thought for a moment and then beamed, "You mean just like my other daddy?"
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tabascoboy
- Posts: 6803
- Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2020 8:22 am
- Location: 曇りの街
Dad joke time
Why were photographs so depressing before digital cameras were invented? Because they spent too much time on the negatives.
Why were photographs so depressing before digital cameras were invented? Because they spent too much time on the negatives.
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Marylandolorian
- Posts: 1326
- Joined: Thu Jul 02, 2020 2:47 pm
- Location: Amerikanuak
20 years ago today my pal James came running out shouting "IT’S A BOY!" with tears streaming down his face.
We never went back to Thailand.
We never went back to Thailand.
