The Official Cricket Thread

[Gumboot]

Not really looking forward to this one.

We're gonna get spanked.

[Gordon Bennett]

Lucky we have Trent Boult chomping at the bit ready to go.....

Those bastards have selected Scott Kuggeleijn instead too. Not only has only only taken 8 first class wickets in the past two seasons, but he doesn't know the meaning of 'no'. NZC can fuck off if they think I'm supporting a team with that **** in.

Apparently, the morals of selecting someone who relinquished his NZC contract is more dubious than selecting someone who admitted in court that the complainant had said no, just not dozens of times.

Yep - Kuggeleijn is a massive black cloud over NZ cricket. I can't support him or wish him success.

NZ cricket needs to perform well in this short series. The whole association is struggling - men having very little to celebrate and the women's team going backwards at a frightening rate of knots.

There's something rotten in the current Black Caps leadership. It doesn't seem as if you have a chance of selection unless you're either over 30 years old or the son of a former player - preferably both. Kuggeleijn isn't good enough anyway and players like Shipley or Nathan Smith should be in there anyway - even if you're inclined to ignore the ethical issues.

Scotland thrashed Namibia by ten wickets this morning in Nepal to win the CWC league 2. 103 from 61 balls for George Munsey chasing Namibia's 157 all out.

That means they are seeded 6th for the CWC Qualifier in Zimbabwe later this year.

Scotland are a decent team, and Namibia were missing 2 of their star players - JJ Smit and Jan Frylinck - as well as the more journeyman David Wiese. A shame, as at full strength, Namibia are a decent team, but when you have fillers like Pikky ya France playing, it shows that there isn't the depth (yet) in Namibian cricket.

[Gumboot]

Looks like play will start on time, although thunderstorms are forecast for this afternoon.

NZ has won the toss and will bowl.

New Zealand: 1 Tom Latham, 2 Devon Conway, 3 Kane Williamson, 4 Henry Nicholls, 5 Daryl Mitchell, 6 Tom Blundell (wk), 7 Michael Bracewell, 8 Scott Kuggeleijn, 9 Tim Southee (capt), 10 Neil Wagner, 11 Blair Tickner

England: 1 Zak Crawley, 2 Ben Duckett, 3 Ollie Pope, 4 Joe Root, 5 Harry Brook, 6 Ben Stokes (capt), 7 Ben Foakes (wk), 8 Ollie Robinson, 9 Jack Leach, 10 Stuart Broad, 11 James Anderson

[Kiwias]

Wagner cleans up Crawley with his first delivery, shame it was a no-ball.

[Jb1981]

Catch held and a fair delivery! Third time lucky as Crawley goes.

[Gordon Bennett]

Fuck NZC for selecting Kuggeleijn. Won't be following the game and I hope England win.

[Gumboot]

Jeez, I wonder how the captain will approach this...

[Jb1981]

Jeez, I wonder how the captain will approach this...

With his usual cool head and intellect with bat in hand no doubt.

[Kiwias]

Southee being Southee.

[Jb1981]

Southee being Southee.

He went out swinging rather than risk being left stranded by Blundell who was only in the 80s .

[Kiwias]

Blundell says “Fuck this” and smashes Leach all round the park

[Kiwias]

Southee being Southee.

He went out swinging rather than risk being left stranded by Blundell who was only in the 80s .

He is so fucking predictable

[Gumboot]

Terrific ton.

BJ who?

[Kiwias]

Very impressive knock by Blundell

[Gumboot]

Rigor - "The sun's going down."

Co-commentator - "Shockingly."

[Kiwias]

I am sure it has been mentioned previously how much Jack Leach resembles Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder

[Gumboot]

Another example of why Southee should never bat higher than 11.

[Gumboot]

Good rearguard effort. Hope Blundell isn't too buggered after that fantastic knock.

[Gumboot]

Wagner got a wicket off his first ball of the first innings, but it was a no ball. Then he leaked a lot of cheap runs. Then he got 4 wickets at a decent rate. Not too worried yet.

[Gumboot]

Gower's so keen on talking up the run rate difference at this early point in the game. Wonder if his tune will change.

[Grandpa]

Rigor - "The sun's going down."

Co-commentator - "Shockingly."

You just don't get that sort of linguistic artistry in football!

[Gumboot]

Right, so any chance of saving this test is now lost, but I really hope Nicholls can play an innings that saves his career.

[Kiwias]

Black Caps being Broad-sided.

[Gumboot]

Black Caps being Broad-sided.

This is a brilliant spell. We're getting thoroughly Baz-balled.

[Kiwias]

Right, so any chance of saving this test is now lost, but I really hope Nicholls can play an innings that saves his career.

Your wicket, I believe

[Gumboot]

Right, so any chance of saving this test is now lost, but I really hope Nicholls can play an innings that saves his career.

Your wicket, I believe

His form has tanked. I think he's averaging about 10 in his last 20 innings.

[Gumboot]

[Insane_Homer]

FFS, NZ were 28/5

[Gumboot]

Complete capitulation. Utter humiliation.

Well played England, just far too good.

[Jb1981]

What now? Matt Henry presumably is available but on the batting front where do you start? There were that many failures I wonder if they just go with the same lineup again and put it in them to improve.

[Kiwias]

Broad and Anderson are amazing cricketers. Hats off to England.

[FalseBayFC]

Aussies getting bashed again. Haven't been watching. Has it been a shit wicket or just Aussie batters being shit?

[Paddington Bear]

Have to start taking this is a very serious change in how test matches are played. Superb stuff

[Biffer]

Have to start taking this is a very serious change in how test matches are played. Superb stuff

I think so. Needs one other country to follow England and then everyone will jump in. Could be great for the game, particularly if day / night tests take off. England's next two series are home v Aus and away to India. If it holds up through those and they win both series, then other teams will follow. Question is does one of the other countries go first - do West Indies give it a smash when they've got India at home this year, or does one side pick a whack of T20 players in the SL v Pak series?

[Insane_Homer]

Eng Women putting Pakistan Women's bowlers to the sword.

Wyatt 42 from 25
Nat SB 21 from 12

BIG total on the cards.

[Insane_Homer]

Bludgeoned, 213/5

[SaintK]

Bludgeoned, 213/5

Not bad from 33-2 after 5 overs

[SaintK]

Bludgeoned, 213/5

Not bad from 33-2 after 5 overs

Pakistan 44-5 from 10

[Mahoney]

Letting themselves down here. That was shambolic. You can lose heavily without looking like a rabble.

[Mahoney]

Good to see Jones batting & keeping well - I'm a bit of a Taylor fan boy and wasn't sure about her replacement, but she's looking excellent this tournament.