Quitting the bottle

Where goats go to escape
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Kiwias
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Rocketz started this thread on PR way back in April 2014 with this amazing post
Been getting out of control. And my dad has just been diagnosed with chyrosis of the liver. 3 bottles of wine a day for 40 years. Doctors give him max 16 months. So me with my son of an alcoholic addiction gave been sliding down it slowly. I have to quit now. I know PR doesn't give a rats ass but I am gonna pretend you do. Any tips mightily appreciated. When I decided last week to quit I became terrified
The thread went on to become a virtual meeting for the significant number of already-sober and newly-sober posters. I want to put it on this bored just in case the other one goes belly-up.

It would be great to see as many as possible link up here.
Last edited by Kiwias on Mon Jul 06, 2020 8:33 am, edited 1 time in total.
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ASMO
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Completely agree, its one of those posts that brings the whole community together
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Caley_Red
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Have thankfully never had an issue myself but that thread was one of the best on PR: reguarly read it as a useful tool to consider and moderate my own consumption.
And on the 7th day, the Lord said "Let there be Finn Russell".
Slick
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Well done Kiwias, a really inspirational thread
All the money you made will never buy back your soul
Aficionado
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Caley_Red wrote: Mon Jul 06, 2020 8:28 am Have thankfully never had an issue myself but that thread was one of the best on PR: reguarly read it as a useful tool to consider and moderate my own consumption.
Yeah me too, I consider myself blessed in that I've never liked the taste of alcohol whatever it's guise. I don't mind the stone it gives you until you go past the point that is but offer me a cold freshly squeezed OJ or a pint of whatever on a minging hot day I'll take the OJ all day every day.
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redderneck
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Caley_Red wrote: Mon Jul 06, 2020 8:28 am Have thankfully never had an issue myself but that thread was one of the best on PR: reguarly read it as a useful tool to consider and moderate my own consumption.
Ditto. The standout thread of the bored in very many ways.
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assfly
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It was a great thread and glad to see the new version.

Whilst I've never struggled with liquor, I had to watch my father go through two liver transplants and found the posts on the thread really helpful to get my head around alcohol addiction.

I implore all posters to use read and use this thread.
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lilyw
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I'm interested in how other people in recovery are finding remote meetings during lockdown. I've been attending 2 per week on Zoom & I must admit that I'm not sure as to how effective they are.

I haven't felt any urge to drink (Thank God this didn't happen 3 years ago when I was at the height of my drinking) but I don't think that the meetings have made any contribution to that. It's funny because it's the same people who attended in person prior to the disruption and I always found those meetings incredibly helpful. There just seems to be a slightly artificial air, or something missing. It could be just me because others say that they find them useful.

And a big Thank you to Kiwias for starting this thread again. It was actually on my mind to do so.

(We will miss Seneca's contributions if he doesn't return.)
troglodyte
Posts: 38
Joined: Mon Jun 29, 2020 6:07 pm
Location: Springs

Thanks for restarting this thread kiwias. One of the best on not-NotPlanetRugby.

That and the mental health one helps keeping me going, even though I haven't had much chance to post over the last 2 years or so.



In summary (re not drinking): still here, still sober. Going on 19 years (I've decided to ignore the slip I had 7 or so years ago).


For what it's worth, also no serious suicidal thoughts, more so these last 2 years.


The boredies probably don't realise how much of a Rule they had to play in both, and special mention to kiwias et al.
troglodyte
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Location: Springs

lilyw wrote: Mon Jul 06, 2020 2:03 pm I'm interested in how other people in recovery are finding remote meetings during lockdown. I've been attending 2 per week on Zoom & I must admit that I'm not sure as to how effective they are.

I haven't felt any urge to drink (Thank God this didn't happen 3 years ago when I was at the height of my drinking) but I don't think that the meetings have made any contribution to that. It's funny because it's the same people who attended in person prior to the disruption and I always found those meetings incredibly helpful. There just seems to be a slightly artificial air, or something missing. It could be just me because others say that they find them useful.

And a big Thank you to Kiwias for starting this thread again. It was actually on my mind to do so.

(We will miss Seneca's contributions if he doesn't return.)


I never got into the AA thing. I attended more to try and help newbies (which in the process helped me in return).

But I can fully understand your situation. Things like AA, help from a shrink, speaking to someone you look up to in a spiritual sense (priests, rabbis etc if you're that way inclined). These are things you just have to experience on a more person-to-person level, at least some of the time.

We tried an online Lodge meeting the other day. Total disaster :lol: but it also lacked the spiritual connection. Felt like just another meeting at a big corporation.
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sorCrer
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I'm back on it. Did 2.5 months off before lockdown and then lockdown basically broke me. Buying booze was banned but I could easily source it at the start although not as easily as being able to just get from the Bottle Shop. I have reduced heavily though. I'm pretty much an impulsive buyer so will sit the whole day not even thinking about it and then at 4:30pm (bottle shops are only allowed to sell to 5pm Mon - Thurs) I'll suddenly remember the shop is closing and go and get something. I also rarely drink 2 days in a row but it is normally a bottle (or close to) in a sitting. So with the shops closing on Thurs at 5pm through to Monday 9am, I just get 1 bottle of whatever I'm in the mood for and a case of beers. The restriction has helped me somewhat. :sad:
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lilyw
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troglodyte wrote: Mon Jul 06, 2020 5:22 pm
lilyw wrote: Mon Jul 06, 2020 2:03 pm I'm interested in how other people in recovery are finding remote meetings during lockdown. I've been attending 2 per week on Zoom & I must admit that I'm not sure as to how effective they are.

I haven't felt any urge to drink (Thank God this didn't happen 3 years ago when I was at the height of my drinking) but I don't think that the meetings have made any contribution to that. It's funny because it's the same people who attended in person prior to the disruption and I always found those meetings incredibly helpful. There just seems to be a slightly artificial air, or something missing. It could be just me because others say that they find them useful.

And a big Thank you to Kiwias for starting this thread again. It was actually on my mind to do so.

(We will miss Seneca's contributions if he doesn't return.)


I never got into the AA thing. I attended more to try and help newbies (which in the process helped me in return).

But I can fully understand your situation. Things like AA, help from a shrink, speaking to someone you look up to in a spiritual sense (priests, rabbis etc if you're that way inclined). These are things you just have to experience on a more person-to-person level, at least some of the time.

We tried an online Lodge meeting the other day. Total disaster :lol: but it also lacked the spiritual connection. Felt like just another meeting at a big corporation.
I'm not a 12 stepper. I've nothing against it but it just doesn't do much for me. I attend Lifering and Smartrecovery.
Harveys
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troglodyte wrote: Mon Jul 06, 2020 5:22 pm
lilyw wrote: Mon Jul 06, 2020 2:03 pm I'm interested in how other people in recovery are finding remote meetings during lockdown. I've been attending 2 per week on Zoom & I must admit that I'm not sure as to how effective they are.

I haven't felt any urge to drink (Thank God this didn't happen 3 years ago when I was at the height of my drinking) but I don't think that the meetings have made any contribution to that. It's funny because it's the same people who attended in person prior to the disruption and I always found those meetings incredibly helpful. There just seems to be a slightly artificial air, or something missing. It could be just me because others say that they find them useful.

And a big Thank you to Kiwias for starting this thread again. It was actually on my mind to do so.

(We will miss Seneca's contributions if he doesn't return.)


I never got into the AA thing. I attended more to try and help newbies (which in the process helped me in return).

But I can fully understand your situation. Things like AA, help from a shrink, speaking to someone you look up to in a spiritual sense (priests, rabbis etc if you're that way inclined). These are things you just have to experience on a more person-to-person level, at least some of the time.

We tried an online Lodge meeting the other day. Total disaster :lol: but it also lacked the spiritual connection. Felt like just another meeting at a big corporation.
Funny thing is, that in itself is AA, people mistake / have turned AA into group therapy. Over time form starts to take precedent over content.

Online everything took some getting used to for me, you do miss the connection with people and the feeling in the room but I have found as with in the rooms a small number will do what’s required and most others will find excuses not to. Not much has changed.

I still engage in all the AA activity I participated in before, the meetings are not the solution in and of themselves as much as that confuses or annoys some people its faculty correct.
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Kiwias
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troglodyte wrote: Mon Jul 06, 2020 5:13 pm Thanks for restarting this thread kiwias. One of the best on not-NotPlanetRugby.

That and the mental health one helps keeping me going, even though I haven't had much chance to post over the last 2 years or so.



In summary (re not drinking): still here, still sober. Going on 19 years (I've decided to ignore the slip I had 7 or so years ago).


For what it's worth, also no serious suicidal thoughts, more so these last 2 years.


The boredies probably don't realise how much of a Rule they had to play in both, and special mention to kiwias et al.
trogs

Great to see you back and going strong. I agree that one small slip after 12 years sober is not critical, especially given the way you jumped straight back into sobriety. YOu are one of my inspirations.
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Kiwias
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Thanks for all the kind words but I did this more for myself, wanting to have a place I could touch base with fellow recovering alcoholics in English.

I skipped two months of meetings (once a week) during the lockdown and actually did not find it to be any problem. That said, I am glad to be back to my regular weekly meetings again. Meetings are a physical, concrete statement of my determination to stay sober and that is an enormous comfort for my wife. For me, making amends means doing what I can to provide her with reassurances that everything has changed. It is better if these reassurances are non verbal as she got sick of all my lies about alcohol.

There is the added element of being a support for the new members and people who have just started on their sobriety. The older members were a huge support for me in my early days/months/years, so I feel a responsibility to repay the kindness they showed me.
Harveys
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troglodyte wrote: Mon Jul 06, 2020 5:13 pm Thanks for restarting this thread kiwias. One of the best on not-NotPlanetRugby.

That and the mental health one helps keeping me going, even though I haven't had much chance to post over the last 2 years or so.



In summary (re not drinking): still here, still sober. Going on 19 years (I've decided to ignore the slip I had 7 or so years ago).


For what it's worth, also no serious suicidal thoughts, more so these last 2 years.


The boredies probably don't realise how much of a Rule they had to play in both, and special mention to kiwias et al.
:wtf:
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assfly
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sorCrer wrote: Mon Jul 06, 2020 5:23 pm I'm back on it. Did 2.5 months off before lockdown and then lockdown basically broke me. Buying booze was banned but I could easily source it at the start although not as easily as being able to just get from the Bottle Shop. I have reduced heavily though. I'm pretty much an impulsive buyer so will sit the whole day not even thinking about it and then at 4:30pm (bottle shops are only allowed to sell to 5pm Mon - Thurs) I'll suddenly remember the shop is closing and go and get something. I also rarely drink 2 days in a row but it is normally a bottle (or close to) in a sitting. So with the shops closing on Thurs at 5pm through to Monday 9am, I just get 1 bottle of whatever I'm in the mood for and a case of beers. The restriction has helped me somewhat. :sad:
The lockdown was very tough on our mental states, I'm sure many people changed their habits.

You back into running? It's the only thing that keeps me off the juice midweek.
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Kiwias
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sorCrer wrote: Mon Jul 06, 2020 5:23 pm I'm back on it. Did 2.5 months off before lockdown and then lockdown basically broke me. Buying booze was banned but I could easily source it at the start although not as easily as being able to just get from the Bottle Shop. I have reduced heavily though. I'm pretty much an impulsive buyer so will sit the whole day not even thinking about it and then at 4:30pm (bottle shops are only allowed to sell to 5pm Mon - Thurs) I'll suddenly remember the shop is closing and go and get something. I also rarely drink 2 days in a row but it is normally a bottle (or close to) in a sitting. So with the shops closing on Thurs at 5pm through to Monday 9am, I just get 1 bottle of whatever I'm in the mood for and a case of beers. The restriction has helped me somewhat. :sad:
Realising the risk of newcomers relapsing without any regular support, my self-help group arranged meetings in members' homes once a week for those desperately needing the strength of the support group.

I'm glad that you are still in the fight.
Eugenius
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Had a memorial for a mate that killed himself recently .

Alcoholism and Drug addiction certainly an overwhelming factor in a lovely blokes demise .

Caught up with very old highschool friends and hangers on and got throughly fucked up .

First and I hope last hangover in sometime and it’s lasted for several days now .

Depressing and worse it seems my blood pressure is badly affected and is becoming problematic.

Sooooo I’m officially on the wagon until my next substantial birthday in a couple of years , I want to be fit and able thanks very much and binge drinking sure ain’t helping at the moment.

Couldn’t believe the problem drinkers or outright alcoholics that turned up to farewell Hamish .

Turns out I’m really not a lot better .
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Kiwias
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Eugenius wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 6:24 am Had a memorial for a mate that killed himself recently .

Alcoholism and Drug addiction certainly an overwhelming factor in a lovely blokes demise .

Caught up with very old highschool friends and hangers on and got throughly fucked up .

First and I hope last hangover in sometime and it’s lasted for several days now .

Depressing and worse it seems my blood pressure is badly affected and is becoming problematic.

Sooooo I’m officially on the wagon until my next substantial birthday in a couple of years , I want to be fit and able thanks very much and binge drinking sure ain’t helping at the moment.

Couldn’t believe the problem drinkers or outright alcoholics that turned up to farewell Hamish .

Turns out I’m really not a lot better .
Sad to hear about your mate. Binge drinking is never good for the body or soul but you know where to come to meet your fellows.

Wishing you all the best.
jamesfreeman
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Thanks for restarting the thread here kiwas, I enjoyed reading the thread on PR. Gave lots of insight and perspectives. I have naturally cut my drinking down over the last 2 years, still like to drink once a week or fortnightly but was a bit too habitual and expensive drinking each evening or second evening. Wasnt hard for me cutting back but am seeing the benefits (many of which are talked about on the PR thread).

When I was drinking more regularly I found it relaxing and fun but it did have diminishing returns/flat plateau. Am thankful I didnt get too extreme with it and glad I am drinking less now.

I found there were some really interesting stories told on the PR thread and be good to read others points of view on the ongoing topic...
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Kiwias
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jamesfreeman wrote: Tue Jul 07, 2020 7:24 am Thanks for restarting the thread here kiwas, I enjoyed reading the thread on PR. Gave lots of insight and perspectives. I have naturally cut my drinking down over the last 2 years, still like to drink once a week or fortnightly but was a bit too habitual and expensive drinking each evening or second evening. Wasnt hard for me cutting back but am seeing the benefits (many of which are talked about on the PR thread).

When I was drinking more regularly I found it relaxing and fun but it did have diminishing returns/flat plateau. Am thankful I didnt get too extreme with it and glad I am drinking less now.

I found there were some really interesting stories told on the PR thread and be good to read others points of view on the ongoing topic...
:thumbup: :thumbup:

I like hearing of posters who found the thread useful in monitoring then reducing their intake, way way before it became an insurmountable problem as it did with me.
Slick
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sorCrer wrote: Mon Jul 06, 2020 5:23 pm I'm back on it. Did 2.5 months off before lockdown and then lockdown basically broke me. Buying booze was banned but I could easily source it at the start although not as easily as being able to just get from the Bottle Shop. I have reduced heavily though. I'm pretty much an impulsive buyer so will sit the whole day not even thinking about it and then at 4:30pm (bottle shops are only allowed to sell to 5pm Mon - Thurs) I'll suddenly remember the shop is closing and go and get something. I also rarely drink 2 days in a row but it is normally a bottle (or close to) in a sitting. So with the shops closing on Thurs at 5pm through to Monday 9am, I just get 1 bottle of whatever I'm in the mood for and a case of beers. The restriction has helped me somewhat. :sad:
A bottle of spirits, or wine?
All the money you made will never buy back your soul
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Stannis
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troglodyte wrote: Mon Jul 06, 2020 5:13 pm Thanks for restarting this thread kiwias. One of the best on not-NotPlanetRugby.

That and the mental health one helps keeping me going, even though I haven't had much chance to post over the last 2 years or so.
Two very powerful threads. Hopefully, we won't have any more posters trolling disclosures in order to 'score points' in shitfights.
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Kiwias
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Bloody covid-19 seems to be setting in for the long-term and we have seen a rise in patients in the alcohol-dedicated ward in a large local hospital. A couple of guys in my group have lapsed, one able to stamp it out immediately but the other is now back in hospital.

I hope everyone in our community is doing well.
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Kiwias
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I reckon it is time we had a roll call on the new bored, though I know there will be some posters who have not made the move over here and some who have new names. I'm happily sober and would love to hear from everyone. Let me know if your name is missing from the honours board.


Rocketz
hookah
d'arse
CrazyIslander
Lenny
Gwenno -- your son
Trogs
HKCJ
Old Man by the Sea
dt678
Harveys
chur bro
Seneca
Theaxe
eugenius
Armchair_Superstar
BokStorm
slick
SorCrer
Tschussie
Ho Chi Minh
lilyw
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Kiwias
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lilyw wrote: Mon Jul 06, 2020 7:03 pm
troglodyte wrote: Mon Jul 06, 2020 5:22 pm
lilyw wrote: Mon Jul 06, 2020 2:03 pm I'm interested in how other people in recovery are finding remote meetings during lockdown. I've been attending 2 per week on Zoom & I must admit that I'm not sure as to how effective they are.

I haven't felt any urge to drink (Thank God this didn't happen 3 years ago when I was at the height of my drinking) but I don't think that the meetings have made any contribution to that. It's funny because it's the same people who attended in person prior to the disruption and I always found those meetings incredibly helpful. There just seems to be a slightly artificial air, or something missing. It could be just me because others say that they find them useful.

And a big Thank you to Kiwias for starting this thread again. It was actually on my mind to do so.

(We will miss Seneca's contributions if he doesn't return.)


I never got into the AA thing. I attended more to try and help newbies (which in the process helped me in return).

But I can fully understand your situation. Things like AA, help from a shrink, speaking to someone you look up to in a spiritual sense (priests, rabbis etc if you're that way inclined). These are things you just have to experience on a more person-to-person level, at least some of the time.

We tried an online Lodge meeting the other day. Total disaster :lol: but it also lacked the spiritual connection. Felt like just another meeting at a big corporation.
I'm not a 12 stepper. I've nothing against it but it just doesn't do much for me. I attend Lifering and Smartrecovery.
lilyw

I reckon the methodology we use to stay sober is largely irrelevant. The key is that we stay sober and learn about ourselves along the way, so we can address whatever it was that that led us to becoming alcoholics.

One day at a time.
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Kiwias
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This is me at my worst -- drinking out of control and getting pissed basically every day. Taken in April 1992 when I was 39.

Image


The sober Kiwias, taken in November, 2014 aged 60.

Image
Last edited by Kiwias on Sat Aug 15, 2020 11:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Slick
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I’ve slowly slipped back to the old ways, lockdown didn’t help. Of course lockdown was actually an opportunity to get really fit, but I took the other option...

Anyway, stopping again on Monday for a few weeks and see where we go. I know my life is better without it which really makes me pissed off with myself.
All the money you made will never buy back your soul
Ramble on
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Sorry. I have some really ugly experiences to say about this, which would probably help, but am still not yet ready to share them
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Kiwias
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Slick wrote: Sat Aug 15, 2020 12:13 pm I’ve slowly slipped back to the old ways, lockdown didn’t help. Of course lockdown was actually an opportunity to get really fit, but I took the other option...

Anyway, stopping again on Monday for a few weeks and see where we go. I know my life is better without it which really makes me pissed off with myself.
Slick

Rule 1 is not beating yourself up for having a wee lapse. You still know what you want to do and have the confidence of your first spell sober to tell you you can see it through.

Pop in whenever you can, mate.
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lilyw
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Slick wrote: Sat Aug 15, 2020 12:13 pm I’ve slowly slipped back to the old ways, lockdown didn’t help. Of course lockdown was actually an opportunity to get really fit, but I took the other option...

Anyway, stopping again on Monday for a few weeks and see where we go. I know my life is better without it which really makes me pissed off with myself.
If you took a wrong turn while on a journey you would never say that you had to go back to the start, you would simply continue on from where you happen to be.

Don't ever think that 1 slip (or even multiple slips or relapses) brings you back to some dark place in your past, it doesn't. You've already shown that you have the strength to pick up & carry on; don't beat yourself up about an error in judgement.

As they dinned into us in rehab: Guilt is the most pointless emotion.

(Smartrecovery spends a lot of time on Disputing Irrational Beliefs and turning negative emotions into more positive ones. Some of their material is available online & can be helpful reading.)
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PCPhil
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Held back on this a long time but since I spilt the beans to the liver specialist I found it was liberating to talk to someone and helped me get back under control.

When my old folks passed away about 7 years ago I started drinking a bit more than usual and gradually got worse. For a year I was drinking at least 6 pints of strong lager every night in the week, friday it would be 8 and few glasses of wine, Sat and Sun the same unless the rugby was on. On a six nations day I would often get through 16 pints. Routine check up spotted a swollen liver then a liver specialist scared the cr@p out of me, in a nice friendly factual manner. Cut right down and took the plunge in November when I went a month without a drink. Moderate drinking over Xmas then in Feb did another dry. This helped me break the dependance. Now I don't drink during the week and have a few average strength beers at weekend. I can even go out and not have to have a beer.

For me, and I am sure others, the thought of completely stopping frightened me. But doing the dries then being strict during week stopped me always thinking about wanting a beer. And I can now spot the warning signs and know when to back off. I can see a point now where I could think, "you know what, not enjoying this at all now," and I stop completely, naturally.
“It was a pet, not an animal. It had a name, you don't eat things with names, this is horrific!”
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Kiwias
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lilyw wrote: Sat Aug 15, 2020 12:52 pm
Slick wrote: Sat Aug 15, 2020 12:13 pm I’ve slowly slipped back to the old ways, lockdown didn’t help. Of course lockdown was actually an opportunity to get really fit, but I took the other option...

Anyway, stopping again on Monday for a few weeks and see where we go. I know my life is better without it which really makes me pissed off with myself.
If you took a wrong turn while on a journey you would never say that you had to go back to the start, you would simply continue on from where you happen to be.

Don't ever think that 1 slip (or even multiple slips or relapses) brings you back to some dark place in your past, it doesn't. You've already shown that you have the strength to pick up & carry on; don't beat yourself up about an error in judgement.

As they dinned into us in rehab: Guilt is the most pointless emotion.

(Smartrecovery spends a lot of time on Disputing Irrational Beliefs and turning negative emotions into more positive ones. Some of their material is available online & can be helpful reading.)
lilyw

I'm going to use that!!!
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Kiwias
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PCPhil wrote: Sat Aug 15, 2020 2:55 pm Held back on this a long time but since I spilt the beans to the liver specialist I found it was liberating to talk to someone and helped me get back under control.

When my old folks passed away about 7 years ago I started drinking a bit more than usual and gradually got worse. For a year I was drinking at least 6 pints of strong lager every night in the week, friday it would be 8 and few glasses of wine, Sat and Sun the same unless the rugby was on. On a six nations day I would often get through 16 pints. Routine check up spotted a swollen liver then a liver specialist scared the cr@p out of me, in a nice friendly factual manner. Cut right down and took the plunge in November when I went a month without a drink. Moderate drinking over Xmas then in Feb did another dry. This helped me break the dependance. Now I don't drink during the week and have a few average strength beers at weekend. I can even go out and not have to have a beer.

For me, and I am sure others, the thought of completely stopping frightened me. But doing the dries then being strict during week stopped me always thinking about wanting a beer. And I can now spot the warning signs and know when to back off. I can see a point now where I could think, "you know what, not enjoying this at all now," and I stop completely, naturally.
PCPhil

That is really good to hear and tbh, a small part of me is somewhat jealous at your ability to moderate your drinking seemingly so easily. I say "part of me" because a large part of me is actually glad I am an alcoholic, not of course for the damage I caused to so many people but because it enabled me to learn about myself as I did the journey to sobriety.
Slick
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lilyw wrote: Sat Aug 15, 2020 12:52 pm
Slick wrote: Sat Aug 15, 2020 12:13 pm I’ve slowly slipped back to the old ways, lockdown didn’t help. Of course lockdown was actually an opportunity to get really fit, but I took the other option...

Anyway, stopping again on Monday for a few weeks and see where we go. I know my life is better without it which really makes me pissed off with myself.
If you took a wrong turn while on a journey you would never say that you had to go back to the start, you would simply continue on from where you happen to be.

Don't ever think that 1 slip (or even multiple slips or relapses) brings you back to some dark place in your past, it doesn't. You've already shown that you have the strength to pick up & carry on; don't beat yourself up about an error in judgement.

As they dinned into us in rehab: Guilt is the most pointless emotion.

(Smartrecovery spends a lot of time on Disputing Irrational Beliefs and turning negative emotions into more positive ones. Some of their material is available online & can be helpful reading.)
Thanks to both of you. This is an incredibly helpful thread. I’ll keep you updated, if I may.
All the money you made will never buy back your soul
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Kiwias
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Joined: Sat Jul 04, 2020 1:44 am

Slick wrote: Mon Aug 17, 2020 8:13 am
lilyw wrote: Sat Aug 15, 2020 12:52 pm
Slick wrote: Sat Aug 15, 2020 12:13 pm I’ve slowly slipped back to the old ways, lockdown didn’t help. Of course lockdown was actually an opportunity to get really fit, but I took the other option...

Anyway, stopping again on Monday for a few weeks and see where we go. I know my life is better without it which really makes me pissed off with myself.
If you took a wrong turn while on a journey you would never say that you had to go back to the start, you would simply continue on from where you happen to be.

Don't ever think that 1 slip (or even multiple slips or relapses) brings you back to some dark place in your past, it doesn't. You've already shown that you have the strength to pick up & carry on; don't beat yourself up about an error in judgement.

As they dinned into us in rehab: Guilt is the most pointless emotion.

(Smartrecovery spends a lot of time on Disputing Irrational Beliefs and turning negative emotions into more positive ones. Some of their material is available online & can be helpful reading.)
Thanks to both of you. This is an incredibly helpful thread. I’ll keep you updated, if I may.
MAYYYYY??? You fucking well better keep us updated. This is your support group and meeting.
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Chilli
Posts: 5652
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2020 5:15 pm
Location: In Die Baai in.

I stopped drinking while my wife was pregnant and never battled with it. I did gain the crap load of weight though......................


Returned to having a glass of wine most nights and a bit more over the weekends until lockdown, when I never drank. Once the bottle stores opened I would on a Thursday [the bottles stores only opened room Monday to Thursday] buy 2 bottles of red and 3 330ml beers for the weekend. No drinking from Monday to Friday evening.

The weight is coming off very slowly.
Lenny
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2020 8:27 am
Location: Land of heart’s desire

Kiwias wrote: Sat Aug 15, 2020 8:38 am I reckon it is time we had a roll call on the new bored, though I know there will be some posters who have not made the move over here and some who have new names. I'm happily sober and would love to hear from everyone. Let me know if your name is missing from the honours board.


Rocketz
hookah
d'arse
CrazyIslander
Lenny
Gwenno -- your son
Trogs
HKCJ
Old Man by the Sea
dt678
Harveys
chur bro
Seneca
Theaxe
eugenius
Armchair_Superstar
BokStorm
slick
SorCrer
Tschussie
Ho Chi Minh
lilyw
Present and correct. I’m just sitting here in a beautiful hotel in Connemara celebrating my 30th wedding anniversary with my wonderful wife, and this thread is a powerful reminder of what could have been if I hadn’t addressed my drinking 13 years ago. I have no doubt that I would be dead and/or divorced if I hadn’t stopped drinking when I did, and, far from being a sacrifice, it has been the most wonderful gift I could have given myself and, more importantly, my family.

Many thanks Kiwias for reviving this great thread.
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Kiwias
Posts: 6813
Joined: Sat Jul 04, 2020 1:44 am

Lenny wrote: Mon Aug 17, 2020 8:43 am Present and correct. I’m just sitting here in a beautiful hotel in Connemara celebrating my 30th wedding anniversary with my wonderful wife, and this thread is a powerful reminder of what could have been if I hadn’t addressed my drinking 13 years ago. I have no doubt that I would be dead and/or divorced if I hadn’t stopped drinking when I did, and, far from being a sacrifice, it has been the most wonderful gift I could have given myself and, more importantly, my family.

Many thanks Kiwias for reviving this great thread.
Lenny

The sentiments you express so eloquently fit my life perfectly. I shudder to think what would have happened had I snot stopped drinking but I know for certain I would have been abandoned by my wife, if I had not already died, and I would have not seen my gorgeous grandchildren or revived my relationship with my elder son.

Life is good.
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