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Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 2:34 am
by Haast Eagle
Hello chaps - looking for suggestions to help fill this one in for NZ, but feel free to select your own country's XV.

15 Bob Lendrum, vs. England, Auckland, 15 September 1973. This will shock a lot of punters who would have expected Colin Farrell to be nailed on for this slot. But Lendrum's performance in his debut test was so atrocious across the board - goal kicking, positioning, handling - he sneaks ahead to win this slot. Directly responsible for two of England's three tries, and nearly responsible for a fourth at the death. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgP5li-8F-g

14

13 Leon MacDonald vs Australia, Sydney, 15 November 2003. Of all the AB fullbacks shifted into center over the years, this was the worst, and most consequential, performance.

12

11

10 Stephen Donald, vs. Australia, Hong Kong, 30 October 2010. We all know this story. With the AB's up 24-14 at sixty minutes, Dan Carter took a well-deserved early shower, and Donald came on to sub. Oops. With his first touch of the ball he chip-kicked straight to the Wallabies, who went on to score. Donald then missed touched from a penalty, gave away a penalty for a high shot, then missed a sitter of a penalty with seven minutes to go that would have put NZ two scores ahead. Finally, after the ABs had survived minutes of relentless Aussie attack, they turned the ball over; all Donald had to do was put the ball out. Nek Minnut... That blew a fifteen-test AB winning streak and was the only game the AB's lost all year. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=up4RvszwN2E

9

8 Rodney So’oialo, vs. South Africa, Rustenberg, 2 September 2006. Sometimes even the most solid players have a day when everything goes wrong. Threw an intercept pass that gifted SA a try; had an AB try ruled out; gave away the winning SA penalty that blew another AB fifteen-test winning streak. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RAC9AfDoMQ

7 Sione Lauaki, vs. Australia, Sydney, 26 July 2008. This is almost a double-header. When Richie McCaw was ruled out of this test, Daniel Braid was drafted into the squad. He was a decent alternative, but the problem was he hadn't played for five weeks due to injury so after just 30 minutes of the test he was almost dead on his feet – not helped by the fact the All Blacks had run from everywhere that night. Braid couldn’t get anywhere near the ball and was subbed after 50 minutes. When Lauaki came onto the field the All Blacks were leading 19-14. However after coming on, he immediately missed a tackle that allowed Rock Elson score under the posts. He then knocked the ball on five times in eight minutes, missed a further tackle that allowed James Horwill touch down, and was turned over on a number of occasions. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Td3yJhumajo

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5 Jerome Kaino, vs. Ireland, Chicago, 5 November 2016. A tough call for perhaps NZ's greatest ever blindside flanker. The All Blacks arrived in Chicago 2016 to play Ireland without regular locks Sam Whitelock and Brodie Retallick, who were injured. Luke Romano, their next most experienced lock, had to leave three days before the game due to a personal matters and so the All Blacks had two specialists – Patrick Tuipulotu and the uncapped Scott Barrett. But Steve Hanson decided it was too much to ask Barrett to start so he shifted Kaino into the middle row, which went about as well as you'd expect. The hapless Kaino was subbed five minutes after halftime while Ireland beat NZ for the first time after 111 years of trying.

4 Brian Lochore, vs. the Lions, Wellington, 31 July 1971. Another great loose forward, and former captain, brought out of retirement and played out of position three matches into a four test series.

3 Jamie Mackintosh, vs. Scotland, Edinburgh, 8 November 2008. Great things were expected; one of the biggest All Blacks ever at 1.93m, 130kg, “Whoppa” captained the NZ Colts for two consecutive seasons, was immediately drafted into provincial then Super Rugby and then the national squad, debuting at 23 years old. And then in his debut match he was completely demolished and never played another test.

2

1 Frank McAtamney, vs. South Africa, Wellington, 4 August 1956.

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 2:37 am
by FujiKiwi
One of the first games of rugby I ever watched was the test debut of Simon Mannix. Even as a young kid with little understanding of rugby, I could see it was awful. I don’t think he played another test.

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 3:18 am
by Caley_Red
Had to google Jamie Mackintosh, don't even remember that game.

Having now googled the score, think I must have repressed memory syndrome.

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 3:52 am
by LandOTurk
Alex Cuthbert - right wing

So many to choose from after the Lions 2013, we just didn't have any other wings apart from North and the emergence of Liam Williams.

I'll go with his ineptitude in 2017 v England. I am sure he had worse I just can't remember amongst the dirge he offered up for 2-3 years.



I leave you with this image of him on the floor, with his all too familiar hands above his head gesturing - yep, I've fcuked up again.

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 4:04 am
by stemoc
burgess at 6? or te'o at 12?

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 4:27 am
by ASMO
Ben Yougs, pretty much any game he has played in the last 5 years

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 5:05 am
by Enzedder
Coach - John Mitchell

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 5:10 am
by Kiwias
Enzedder wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 5:05 am Coach - John Mitchell
Nah, Ivan Vodanovich has a lock on that one.

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 5:11 am
by Kiwias
9 -- who could ever top Bergamasco's performance there?

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 5:14 am
by Chilli
If only Stephan Terblanche had played in a test.

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 5:26 am
by Caley_Red
The much hyped Matthew Tait against Wales in '05 has to be there, afternoon summed up when Henson smashed him with an excellent dump tackle.

Although a cameo performance, O'Gara in second test against SA for the Lions.

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 6:09 am
by -RB-
Jonah Lomu's debut was a shocker.

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 6:15 am
by Lobby
Caley_Red wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 5:26 am The much hyped Matthew Tait against Wales in '05 has to be there, afternoon summed up when Henson smashed him with an excellent dump tackle.

Although a cameo performance, O'Gara in second test against SA for the Lions.
To be fair to Tait, he was a teenager when he made his debut, and about 5 stone dripping wet. Only an idiot would pick someone of his size and then ask him to to run crashball all afternoon (step forward Andy Robinson). I would also note that, although Henson lifted him up and held him in the air, Tait still managed to secure and recycle the ball.

Other players have done much worse than him at 12. Barrie Jon-Mather was never picked again after his debut, and Henry Paul was subbed after just 20 minutes against Australia after an absolute horror show in 2004.

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 6:16 am
by CrazyIslander
FujiKiwi wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 2:37 am One of the first games of rugby I ever watched was the test debut of Simon Mannix. Even as a young kid with little understanding of rugby, I could see it was awful. I don’t think he played another test.
Add to that Stu Foster who also had a nightmare that day vs France '94.

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 6:17 am
by CrazyIslander
-RB. wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 6:09 am Jonah Lomu's debut was a shocker.
It was more to do with Bunce not giving him the ball but being dropped helped improved him.

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 6:51 am
by handyman
Was Jamie Mackintosh not at one stage seen as a long term Kiwi captain?

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 9:19 am
by frodder
Which game was Henry Paul sub'ed off after about 25mins? He's got a shout for the 12 shirt

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 9:26 am
by Lobby
frodder wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 9:19 am Which game was Henry Paul sub'ed off after about 25mins? He's got a shout for the 12 shirt
As mentioned in my previous post, against Aus in 2004. Probably the worst 20 minutes I've seen from a player in an England shirt, even worse than Ugo Monye's performance against Argentina in 2009.

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 10:46 am
by lilyw
Maybe not overall a bad performance, but a career ending one.

Dick "Butterfingers" Spring

Fullback for Ireland vs Wales, Cardiff, 1979

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 10:48 am
by Ata Rangi
-RB. wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 6:09 am Jonah Lomu's debut was a shocker.
IIRC that was also Mannix’s only test.

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 10:55 am
by FujiKiwi
Ata Rangi wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 10:48 am
-RB. wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 6:09 am Jonah Lomu's debut was a shocker.
IIRC that was also Mannix’s only test.
I don't think so? I think Mannix came in right after Fox left? Before Lomu's time, surely.

EDIT: Wikipedia tells me you're right. I've definitely misremembered that.

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 11:04 am
by Hal Jordan
Lobby wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 9:26 am
frodder wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 9:19 am Which game was Henry Paul sub'ed off after about 25mins? He's got a shout for the 12 shirt
As mentioned in my previous post, against Aus in 2004. Probably the worst 20 minutes I've seen from a player in an England shirt, even worse than Ugo Monye's performance against Argentina in 2009.
Monye got picked at full back off the back of about three regulation catch and returns in the club matches prior to the Test. Absolute madness.

Collectively would be Australia 76-0 England., June 1998.

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 1:53 pm
by Longshanks
ASMO wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 4:27 am Ben Yougs, pretty much any game he has played in the last 5 years
Except against Ireland

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 2:15 pm
by JM2K6
Hal Jordan wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 11:04 am
Lobby wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 9:26 am
frodder wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 9:19 am Which game was Henry Paul sub'ed off after about 25mins? He's got a shout for the 12 shirt
As mentioned in my previous post, against Aus in 2004. Probably the worst 20 minutes I've seen from a player in an England shirt, even worse than Ugo Monye's performance against Argentina in 2009.
Monye got picked at full back off the back of about three regulation catch and returns in the club matches prior to the Test. Absolute madness.

Collectively would be Australia 76-0 England., June 1998.
It's more that Ugo was consistently excellent at chasing and catching high balls / restarts, which neatly ignored how fullbacks are usually on the other end of that sort of thing...

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 2:17 pm
by assfly
Bergamasco at 9

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 3:22 pm
by Jim Lahey
Jonny Sexton was really, really shit against Wales in 2019.

If he doesn’t make this side, he’d certainly captain the Reigning World Player of the Year XV.

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 3:27 pm
by iarmhí
Sexton against England in February. Shocking performance.

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 3:33 pm
by Jim Lahey
iarmhí wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 3:27 pm Sexton against England in February. Shocking performance.
He’d playing pish for Ireland for a while by then so it didn’t have the same shock factor for me.
The Cardiff game stands out to me as he was the World Player of the Year playing like a spacker.

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 3:45 pm
by And 1 guest
Vickery v Beast for the Lions

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 4:28 pm
by sorCrer
O'Gara in 2009 in Pretoria. He was physically battered.

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 4:39 pm
by frankstero
Irish prop who got manshamed by Corbisiero...Tom Court?

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 5:19 pm
by Hal Jordan
Wasn't Barnes wanking off over Monye's performances in the HEC?

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 5:52 pm
by iarmhí
frankstero wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 4:39 pm Irish prop who got manshamed by Corbisiero...Tom Court?
yep Tom Court playing tight head. The days when we needed Mike Ross or we were in trouble

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 6:24 pm
by HighKingLeinster
iarmhí wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 5:52 pm
frankstero wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 4:39 pm Irish prop who got manshamed by Corbisiero...Tom Court?
yep Tom Court playing tight head. The days when we needed Mike Ross or we were in trouble
Was shameful from Court. Years later and he is still trying to remove his head from his arse.

Also holds the distinction of being one of the worst Lions ever thanks to a smart holiday location choice by him

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 6:31 pm
by PCPhil
Kiwias wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 5:11 am 9 -- who could ever top Bergamasco's performance there?
Yes, but that was outstanding and has to be discounted just because of the sheer Clousseau like brilliance.

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 6:51 pm
by Punter15
And 1 guest wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 3:45 pm Vickery v Beast for the Lions
More let down by his second row

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 7:20 pm
by Sandstorm
Punter15 wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 6:51 pm
And 1 guest wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 3:45 pm Vickery v Beast for the Lions
More let down by his second row
Or the ref. Beast had free rein to bore in at crazy angles.

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 7:41 pm
by sorCrer
Sandstorm wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 7:20 pm
Punter15 wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 6:51 pm
And 1 guest wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 3:45 pm Vickery v Beast for the Lions
More let down by his second row
Or the ref. Beast had free rein to bore in at crazy angles.
Shut your fucking face, uncle fucker.

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 9:18 pm
by CrazyIslander
Sandstorm wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 7:20 pm
Punter15 wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 6:51 pm
And 1 guest wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 3:45 pm Vickery v Beast for the Lions
More let down by his second row
Or the ref. Beast had free rein to bore in at crazy angles.
The occassion magnified it but Vickery wasnt that bad.

Re: Worst Individual Test Performance XV

Posted: Thu Jul 09, 2020 9:21 pm
by iarmhí
CrazyIslander wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 9:18 pm
Sandstorm wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 7:20 pm
Punter15 wrote: Thu Jul 09, 2020 6:51 pm

More let down by his second row
Or the ref. Beast had free rein to bore in at crazy angles.
The occassion magnified it but Vickery wasnt that bad.

.
That's true. 2nd game Adam Jones bossed the Beast.


You couldn't cheat against Jones. That's what made him invaluable to Wales