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Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2024 5:38 pm
by Niegs
Had a chuckle at some of the replies to this. Do any of you have or know someone who has a nickname for something very basic/lame that's stuck?
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2024 5:55 pm
by TB63
My father was an electrician in the steelworks..Les Lamps..
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2024 6:08 pm
by Insane_Homer
Chap at school surname was Kitto,
So everyone still calls him Amos, 35 years later.
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2024 6:08 pm
by OomStruisbaai
Nick names in South Africa is common. Many schools give the grade 8s nicknames. The worst one I heard is Poeslap and Voel pens. Most guys with the Mostert surnames are Mossie. Big dicks get Mielie or Spyker.
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2024 6:13 pm
by Niegs
OomStruisbaai wrote: Wed Nov 06, 2024 6:08 pm
Nick names in South Africa is common. Many schools give the grade 8s nicknames. The worst one I heard is Poeslap and Voel pens. Most guys with the Mostert surnames are Mossie. Big dicks get Mielie or Spyker.
Translations?

Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2024 6:31 pm
by OomStruisbaai
Niegs wrote: Wed Nov 06, 2024 6:13 pm
OomStruisbaai wrote: Wed Nov 06, 2024 6:08 pm
Nick names in South Africa is common. Many schools give the grade 8s nicknames. The worst one I heard is Poeslap and Voel pens. Most guys with the Mostert surnames are Mossie. Big dicks get Mielie or Spyker.
Translations?

Maybe a Soutie can help here. Afrikaans is probably the best description for nick names.
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2024 6:40 pm
by Gumboot
Had a schoolmate with the surname Bates. Everyone called him Master.
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2024 6:45 pm
by Jim Lahey
Fat fuck in my school year got called Slim.
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2024 7:02 pm
by PornDog
Have a friend called Garry - we used to all call him Barry, Larry, Harry, whatever came first into our heads at the time. One night there was about 7 or 8 of us (sans Garry) sitting down watching Raising Arizona. At the seen where the camera pans over all of the baby names (Garry, Barry, Larry etc.) and then it settles on Nathan Jr. we all burst our shit laughing. He was known as Nathan Jr. for years after. Drove him nuts as well because it was a long time before anyone let him know why.
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2024 7:40 pm
by Oxbow
A guy called Lee at a place my best mate used to work once foolishly admitted he was having premature ejaculation problems. Henceforth he was known as cum-too-quick-Lee.
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Wed Nov 06, 2024 8:18 pm
by TedMaul
Bloke in my firm dodged his round every fkn night at the pub by the office; named Crime, as in crime doesn’t pay.
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 5:59 am
by assfly
I'm blessed with very pale, celtic skin. Which stands out when you live in Africa.
In school my nickname was Jik, a popular brand of bleach that I was accused of bathing in every night

Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 7:56 am
by Guy Smiley
I ran a pub once that had a completely unpleasant chef and we were stuck with him due to company recruiting etc...
his nickname was Yeastie, because he was such an irritating cunt.
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 9:23 am
by Sandstorm
assfly wrote: Thu Nov 07, 2024 5:59 am
I'm blessed with very pale, celtic skin. Which stands out when you live in Africa.
In school my nickname was Jik, a popular brand of bleach that I was accused of bathing in every night

Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 9:25 am
by inactionman
Definitely lame - one of my mates had the surname poole and we called him 'fish'.
creativity was not a strong point.
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 10:01 am
by dpedin
I think every boy with Ritchie as a surname in Scotland in the 1970s was called Mabaza!
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 10:28 am
by SaintK
I worked with a fellow named Roger Boys for many years.We didn't give him a nick name!!!
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 10:36 am
by Niegs
And I thought Canadians were just lame but seems to exist everywhere. In uni, a guy on our floor was from Bournemouth. His nickname the whole year: ‘England’ I thought it was dumb then and would have called him by his first name, but I can’t even remember it now.
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 11:59 am
by Slick
SaintK wrote: Thu Nov 07, 2024 10:28 am
I worked with a fellow named Roger Boys for many years.We didn't give him a nick name!!!

Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 12:00 pm
by Slick
A mate, when 18, was caught wanking and we started calling him Spanky (as in Spanking his Monkey). 35 years later, and a very successful City businessman he is still called that by everyone that knows him and gets very embarrassed
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 12:06 pm
by Sandstorm
A good mate at school surname is Patton. We called him General and nearly 40 years later it has stuck.
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 12:17 pm
by Thor Sedan
The craziest nickname I have heard was a for a guy that I met in London. He was an Aussie guy of German decent. The first time I joined him and his mates from Aussie for some drinks they started calling him 'jewburner'......I thought they were kidding around - but he had been called that for over a decade.
Used to hang out with a guy when I was around 14 or 15 years old - he was Samoan. He was a big guy......weighty - not muscular. Our group nicknamed him Sumo - which stuck. So much so that he opened a bar called Sumo's and had a personalized numberplate Sum0. Met up with him out of the blue a few years back - his wife even called him Sumo.
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 2:09 pm
by fishfoodie
A guy a year behind me in secondary school; his first game of Rugby playing for the school, scores six tries.
From then on known universally as; Flukey
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 2:25 pm
by S/Lt_Phillips
Sandstorm wrote: Thu Nov 07, 2024 12:06 pm
A good mate at school surname is Patton. We called him General and nearly 40 years later it has stuck.
In a very similar vein, a girl the year above at school had McArthur as her surname, so was called General. She quite liked it as she thought of herself as a bit of a hard bitch.
As, I'm sure, with everyone called Marsh, a colleague was called Swampy.
More amusingly, I worked with a guy whose nickname was Synex, because he right up your nose.
Another one, who was an instrument tech and had a habit of tripping the plant, was called Thunderbird, because "anything could happen in the next 30 minutes".
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 2:31 pm
by Slick
Probably my favourite was an Ambassador I used to do a lot of work with called Haydon Warren-Gash - plenty to work with there. Anyway, I liked him but he did drone on and on sometimes, mainly about himself. I found out his nickname at the Foreign Office was Warren-Peace.
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 2:35 pm
by S/Lt_Phillips
Not someone I know, sadly, but I remember hearing a someone on Forth1 calling in about his mate, whose name was Campbell Baxter, who therefore was called Twa Soups. Still makes me chuckle.
(May need translation for the non-Scots.)
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 2:40 pm
by Slick
S/Lt_Phillips wrote: Thu Nov 07, 2024 2:35 pm
Not someone I know, sadly, but I remember hearing a someone on Forth1 calling in about his mate, whose name was Campbell Baxter, who therefore was called Twa Soups. Still makes me chuckle.
(May need translation for the non-Scots.)
Yeah, I've got a mate who had a massive Christmas dinner at his mums house then went round to his girlfriends and was too embarrassed to say no to another one and ended up puking due to over eating. He was forever know as Jonny two Teas.
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 3:05 pm
by shaggy
Carpenter called fingers because, well, the inevitable injury from working with power saws.
Ships electrician called plant pot, because he was as much use on the ship as a plant pot.
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 3:06 pm
by Rhubarb & Custard
There was an old gent I knew as a small child known by everyone as Ladders, and that stemmed from his career as a fireman and him starting out as the engine driver and being responsible for all the kit on the engine. One one callout he was gunning the truck trying to get there as quickly as possible and was extolling the virtues of his driving to the rest of the crew, that they were really making good speed that day. It turned out on arrival at the scene and not being able to access the building they'd been making good speed because he'd forgotten to store the ladders and the reduced weight had sent them on scene much quicker than expected but in largely useless fashion, and the name stuck his whole career and into retirement
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 4:22 pm
by SaintK
shaggy wrote: Thu Nov 07, 2024 3:05 pm
Carpenter called fingers because, well, the inevitable injury from working with power saws.
Ships electrician called plant pot, because he was as much use on the ship as a plant pot.
Yep
Had a Fingers in the village my parents moved to. Farmers son who lost two fingers in farm machinery when he was young. Didn’t stop being a bloody good all round cricketer though
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 4:45 pm
by Slick
SaintK wrote: Thu Nov 07, 2024 4:22 pm
shaggy wrote: Thu Nov 07, 2024 3:05 pm
Carpenter called fingers because, well, the inevitable injury from working with power saws.
Ships electrician called plant pot, because he was as much use on the ship as a plant pot.
Yep
Had a Fingers in the village my parents moved to. Farmers son who lost two fingers in farm machinery when he was young. Didn’t stop being a bloody good all round cricketer though
Could this post be any more English

Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 4:50 pm
by dpedin
Two guys were members at the same golf club I sometimes play at - both had forename and surname. However one was Ian and the other Iain - I played regularly with Iain who we knew as 'Two Eyes'. I met the other Ian recently and innocently said to him you must be 'One Eye' Ian and he laughed and said everyone calls him 'Cyclops'!
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 4:50 pm
by Sandstorm
Slick wrote: Thu Nov 07, 2024 4:45 pm
SaintK wrote: Thu Nov 07, 2024 4:22 pm
shaggy wrote: Thu Nov 07, 2024 3:05 pm
Carpenter called fingers because, well, the inevitable injury from working with power saws.
Ships electrician called plant pot, because he was as much use on the ship as a plant pot.
Yep
Had a Fingers in the village my parents moved to. Farmers son who lost two fingers in farm machinery when he was young. Didn’t stop being a bloody good all round cricketer though
Could this post be any more English

Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 4:52 pm
by Brazil
Brazil.
Had a goatee beard and was nicknamend "Furrymuff". Shaved it, begging the question of what you call it when you shave a Furrymuff? For the rest of my playing career there were people that didn't know my real name.
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 4:55 pm
by S/Lt_Phillips
dpedin wrote: Thu Nov 07, 2024 4:50 pm
Two guys were members at the same golf club I sometimes play at - both had forename and surname. However one was Ian and the other Iain - I played regularly with Iain who we knew as 'Two Eyes'. I met the other Ian recently and innocently said to him you must be 'One Eye' Ian and he laughed and said everyone calls him 'Cyclops'!
Ah, that reminds me of student days when I knew an Egyptian guy, called something like Foaud - no one knew how to pronounce his name, and certainly now how to spell it, except that we knew there was no letter i in it - so therefore he became known as blind Foaud.
Would probably be referred to as casual racism now.
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 5:34 pm
by GrahamWa
Work quite closely with the RN who are notorious for their names every one called Wells is Bomber, Parker - Fez, Ward - Sharky and Bennett - Wiggy.
Its got a bit better First name Ryan now signs his e-mail Meg. Marsh answers to Jodie and a Dando answers to Gill.
Another that I thought was brilliant was a guy called Watts who had very little output. Got called Millie.
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 6:06 pm
by Wyndham Upalot
GrahamWa wrote: Thu Nov 07, 2024 5:34 pm
Work quite closely with the RN who are notorious for their names every one called Wells is Bomber, Parker - Fez, Ward - Sharky and Bennett - Wiggy.
Its got a bit better First name Ryan now signs his e-mail Meg. Marsh answers to Jodie and a Dando answers to Gill.
Another that I thought was brilliant was a guy called Watts who had very little output. Got called Millie.
Similar experience. Surname / Known as:
Butt / "Cheeks"
Castle / "Bouncy"
House / "Shit"
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Thu Nov 07, 2024 7:45 pm
by Blackmac
A lad in the police was called "baloo" because he had the bare necessities to be a police officer.
Only the Scot's will get this one. A polish cleaner in one of the stations was called Ferris, because she would constantly loose her cloth and wander around the station saying in a polish/scots accent " ferris ma clout"
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2024 7:22 am
by Tilly Orifice
Gumboot wrote: Wed Nov 06, 2024 6:40 pm
Had a schoolmate with the surname Bates. Everyone called him Master.
I had a classmate with the surname Bates. One person called him Master Bates one time. Everybody laughed then resumed calling him by his first name.
Re: Lame Nicknames that Stick
Posted: Fri Nov 08, 2024 3:22 pm
by Biffer
Wore a sleeveless t-shirt to play football once at school. Was called Tank for three years.