New Zealand vs England - clash of the titans Cricket

[Jethro]

Well okay bit of a series happening in Oz, but the Kiwis fresh from victory over India take on England fresh from whatever calamity fell them last series

Actually I don't get too excited when we play England as the Poms have a habit of putting us on our arses frequently.

First test starts today in Christchurch (Hagley Oval), expecting a bumper crowd of over a 100 if we count dogs etc.

Nice looking BC line-up to be honest

Tom Latham (capt), Devon Conway, Kane Williamson, Rachin Ravindra, Daryl Mitchell, Tom Blundell (wk), Glenn Phillips, Nathan Smith, Tim Southee, Matt Henry, Will O’Rourke

[Ovals]

We're playing without a regular keeper, a number 3 who has a) never batted there b) is making his debut c) averages just 25 in 1st class cricket and c) has never scored a century in any format. Our skipper has no form with the bat and is reluctant to bowl and our spinner can't even get into his County side. And we've lost 3 of our last 4 tests.

What could possibly go wrong

[Jethro]

We're playing without a regular keeper, a number 3 who has a) never batted there b) is making his debut c) averages just 25 in 1st class cricket and c) has never scored a century in any format. Our skipper has no form with the bat and is reluctant to bowl and our spinner can't even get into his County side. And we've lost 3 of our last 4 tests.

What could possibly go wrong

The mocker gods are not amused dude. Bazball not working out then?

Hoping this series we see some actual test players who think the game runs for more than an afternoon of "hit and giggles" as one poster puts it.

[Gumboot]

Speaking of keepers, Blundell badly needs runs.

Looking forward to seeing how debutant Nathan Smith goes.

[Gumboot]

England has won the toss and will bowl.

The weather's looking good for the duration... fingers crossed.

[Enzedder]

First session of the first test. Is there anything better?

[Enzedder]

Stokes has put us in to bat as the pitch has a tinge of green. First over says this is a nice batting strip [/mockers]

[Enzedder]

And Conway showing that perhaps he, not Young, should be carrying the drinks. That one did not surprise me. He was fishing more than my father-in-law did in retirement.

Actually, give him the gloves and bat him at 6 or 7. There he can swing which he's better at. Then Young can come in to open.

[Gumboot]

Conway's loose hands again. He seems to take a hand off his bat playing a shot quite a bit.

[Enzedder]

Ravindra feathers one to the keeper but nobody appeals

Lunch time - 104/2 so it's moving along quite well

[Kiwias]

And Conway showing that perhaps he, not Young, should be carrying the drinks. That one did not surprise me. He was fishing more than my father-in-law did in retirement.

Actually, give him the gloves and bat him at 6 or 7. There he can swing which he's better at. Then Young can come in to open.

Yep, I would like to see Young opening. He came to the crease within a handful of overs in the recent India series and did really well.

[Ovals]

Pretty average bowling from England - and well down on pace. Seem to be having trouble with the landing areas - no rhythm and too many half trackers - slips also standing way too deep for that pitch and bowling pace.

[Certain Navigator]

Pretty average bowling from England - and well down on pace. Seem to be having trouble with the landing areas - no rhythm and too many half trackers - slips also standing way too deep for that pitch and bowling pace.

I thought much the same. It's definitely not your typical Hagley green top, but a better bowling effort could definitely have had NZ at least a couple more down.

As regards Young, I don't think having him open in place of Conway is a smart idea. He's been tried there before and found wanting — if they're going to play him, have him bat where he's succeeded. Personally I'd have played Santner (can't believe I'm saying this) instead of Smith and then slot Young in for Phillips — better batting, better bowling. But who am I to question Stead?

[Enzedder]

Just a quick stream for the punters https://watch.cricstream.me/new-zealand ... i/stream-1

HOWEVER - it doesn't work on Brave with it's built in adblocker. I have had to use Chrome and clear all cookies and adblockers to get it streaming (mainly did this for the football this morning as cricket is FTA television here). Have to navigate thru the ads and pop-ups

[Kiwias]

Some punters may enjoy this link, working well on Brave

https://my.watchcric.com/live-three-server-3.php

[Enzedder]

Jaysus but so many of our batters have committed suicide today proving that shit gets wickets.

Really pissed at the over rate - currently 6pm and England are in the 76th over. So much for being into attractive cricket. Hit their pay, penalise 10 runs per over they are short and stop robbing the patrons of the play they paid for

[Kiwias]

Watching Phillips playing with his helmet as he waits for DSR, I just wondered how long it will be before a team installs a listening device into the helmet so the batsman can receive advice and instructions from the captain or coach.

[Kiwias]

Jaysus but so many of our batters have committed suicide today proving that shit gets wickets.

Really pissed at the over rate - currently 6pm and England are in the 76th over. So much for being into attractive cricket. Hit their pay, penalise 10 runs per over they are short and stop robbing the patrons of the play they paid for

When is play officially scheduled to end?

[Enzedder]

Jaysus but so many of our batters have committed suicide today proving that shit gets wickets.

Really pissed at the over rate - currently 6pm and England are in the 76th over. So much for being into attractive cricket. Hit their pay, penalise 10 runs per over they are short and stop robbing the patrons of the play they paid for

When is play officially scheduled to end?

6pm with an additional 30 minutes allowed if they are behind in the over rate.,

[Gumboot]

A few lusty blows from Timmy before stumps would be nice.

[Guy Smiley]

Jaysus but so many of our batters have committed suicide today proving that shit gets wickets.

Really pissed at the over rate - currently 6pm and England are in the 76th over. So much for being into attractive cricket. Hit their pay, penalise 10 runs per over they are short and stop robbing the patrons of the play they paid for

When is play officially scheduled to end?

6pm with an additional 30 minutes allowed if they are behind in the over rate.,

After dawdling all day and needing tht half hour extra, they sprint to be in place for one more over.

Bugger them, fine them all part of their match pay.

[Enzedder]

And this is with Bashir bowling 20 overs.

In protest we should bowl 6 overs an hour - fuck 'em

[Jethro]

New Zealand 319/8 Stumps

Reckon honours about even, game on from here.

[Kiwias]

New Zealand 319/8 Stumps

Reckon honours about even, game on from here.

I reckon we are ahead a bit given that they put us in to bat. Getting over 300 is a good result, even though we should not be down that eight wickets.

[JM2K6]

Decent display by England all told, particularly in light of New Zealand's delaying tactics (and weather) causing such slow over rates

[Kiwias]

Decent display by England all told, particularly in light of New Zealand's delaying tactics (and weather) causing such slow over rates

The evil way those batsmen got themselves out and wasted time getting a new batsman to the crease has to be looked into, with perhaps an amendment to the laws needing to be considered.

[JM2K6]

Decent display by England all told, particularly in light of New Zealand's delaying tactics (and weather) causing such slow over rates

The evil way those batsmen got themselves out and wasted time getting a new batsman to the crease has to be looked into, with perhaps an amendment to the laws needing to be considered.

Couldn't agree more old chap

[Jethro]

And Conway showing that perhaps he, not Young, should be carrying the drinks. That one did not surprise me. He was fishing more than my father-in-law did in retirement.

Actually, give him the gloves and bat him at 6 or 7. There he can swing which he's better at. Then Young can come in to open.

To be honest I don't think Conway is an opener, would make a dynamic three or four, but then where are we going to rustle up another opener ... Bruce Edgar still on ice?

Think your assessment of NZ batsmen throwing away their wickets to pretty poor bowling was right on the nail, time to indicate to certain team members their position isn't set in stone.

Second day promises some entertainment, gone are the days of the English openers scoring about 10 runs in a session.

[Gumboot]

Why is it so hard to sort out the slow over rate issue? It's been dragging on for donkey's years ffs...is there simply not the will to deal with it at the highest level? Shirley all that's needed is to tell the captains to comply with the rules or they'll get heavily fined. Big, meaty, meaningful fines, like full match fees, should do the trick. I'd also extend it to the umpires. They're in charge of everything else on the field so why can't they more strictly police this as well? See if they're happy to work for free instead. Shake things up a bit.

[Paddington Bear]

Is there any danger of us making O’Rourke play at one before I go to bed

[Gumboot]

Not if Phillips can keep him off strike.

[Gumboot]

NZ all out for 348, with Phillips 58*

[Kiwias]

Valuable runs from the lower order and Crawley gone very early. Seems as if there is a decent amount of movement for both Henry and Southee.

[Kiwias]

Nice start to his test bowling career by Nathan Smith, getting two wickets in the over before lunch, including Joe Root!!!!

[Certain Navigator]

Duckett out just short of what would have been one of the worst 50s ever.

[Kiwias]

He never looked settled at all. 71 - 4 now

[Enzedder]

Dropped catches will cost us plenty.

[Kiwias]

Dropped catches will cost us plenty.

Already have and it looks like it will just get worse

[Kiwias]

Conway also has the dropped catch lurgy

[Gumboot]

Brilliant catch by Phillips!