NPR

Any home remedies?

Rub some chilli on it, you will soon forget the itch

I am thinking cucumber and creme freche

scrub with a steel wire brush

EnergiseR wrote: Thu Aug 27, 2020 5:57 pm Any home remedies?

Try washing you manky cunt

Medical advice is the backbone of rugby forums

EnergiseR wrote: Thu Aug 27, 2020 7:07 pm Medical advice is the backbone of rugby forums

Arse wiping advice needed here, not medical advice.

probably ingrown klingons, try veet for men, that should remove the itch problem.

EnergiseR wrote: Thu Aug 27, 2020 5:57 pm Any home remedies?

1. Scratch it.

2. Anti-worm tablets.

Rover knows best...

This thread is officially exempt from rule 1

MungoMan wrote: Thu Aug 27, 2020 10:19 pm

EnergiseR wrote: Thu Aug 27, 2020 5:57 pm Any home remedies?

1. Scratch it.

2. Anti-worm tablets.

This. You've got worms ER. Get down to the pharmacy and dose everyone in the house.

no more buttsex

you are welcome.

Worms is the front runner. I'll report back

Sounds like a job for Big Brother.

I have been shitting diahorrea for nearly three weeks, my hemoroids have gone mental.
Itchy bitches.
What I do is a bit of wet toilet paper, then wrap it in a bit of dry toilet paper and just wipe the itchy away.
It works, and you don't have to pick formerly wet toilet paper out of your ass four days later...sort of.

I wonder if you left a small wet ball of paper sort of half way in and half way out would it sort it for a period of time. You would have to get the ratio of water to paper just right so you didn't get leakage and a tell tale wet paper itchy hole spot on your suit pants. I will test it at home

I've had farmers for donkey's years. Going through a bad cycle atm

Hang on in there ER

Sudocream cures everything

Line6 HXFX wrote: Fri Aug 28, 2020 9:31 am I have been shitting diahorrea for nearly three weeks, my hemoroids have gone mental.
Itchy bitches.
What I do is a bit of wet toilet paper, then wrap it in a bit of dry toilet paper and just wipe the itchy away.
It works, and you don't have to pick formerly wet toilet paper out of your ass four days later...sort of.

Why not just get some of those baby wipes? I've got a tub of the alcohol wipes for pandemic reasons but the material (same for the baby version) seems like it won't fall apart (reason why our council urges not to flush them).

Get your gf to cut her fingernails/remove her charm bracelet..

Niegs wrote: Fri Aug 28, 2020 12:14 pm

Line6 HXFX wrote: Fri Aug 28, 2020 9:31 am I have been shitting diahorrea for nearly three weeks, my hemoroids have gone mental.
Itchy bitches.
What I do is a bit of wet toilet paper, then wrap it in a bit of dry toilet paper and just wipe the itchy away.
It works, and you don't have to pick formerly wet toilet paper out of your ass four days later...sort of.

Why not just get some of those baby wipes? I've got a tub of the alcohol wipes for pandemic reasons but the material (same for the baby version) seems like it won't fall apart (reason why our council urges not to flush them).

I actually have wet wipes, Andrex Washlets ("gentle clean") but they are tiny insubstantial sheets, and with itchy ring you really need something more substantial, so with a bunch of wet toilet paper put in a couple of sheets of dry, you get the cooling sensation of that wetness, plus the abrasivness you need to get right at the itch.

I am currently on antibiotics and I have a terrible case of Campylabactor. Ate something undercooked about three and a half weeks ago and it is still trying to kill me.

The worst thing is I really cannot trust in my farts anymore.
I used to enjoy a good fart.

wtf did i just read

Totally sympathetic with the risk of a fart being a wet 'shart' though! We've all been there at one time or another, surely?

Pmsl ffs refry

C69 wrote: Fri Aug 28, 2020 8:18 pmPmsl ffs refry

+1

Good vindaloo will clear that up for you.

Sounds like the dreaded ringworm.

stemoc wrote: Fri Aug 28, 2020 7:00 am no more buttsex

you are welcome.

Doesn't make sense. He should increase his anal sex activity immediately. It's the only way.

I don't know if it's similar but I had itchy bollocks last year in the hot weather in Saudi. I was advised to put tooth paste on it, and Amazingly it worked. It's worth a try

Masterji wrote: Sat Aug 29, 2020 10:44 pm I don't know if it's similar but I had itchy bollocks last year in the hot weather in Saudi. I was advised to put tooth paste on it, and Amazingly it worked. It's worth a try

no idiot, you were supposed to rub your balls with the tooth brush, not the paste... same for an itchy arsehole.

stemoc wrote: Sat Aug 29, 2020 11:54 pm

Masterji wrote: Sat Aug 29, 2020 10:44 pm I don't know if it's similar but I had itchy bollocks last year in the hot weather in Saudi. I was advised to put tooth paste on it, and Amazingly it worked. It's worth a try

no idiot, you were supposed to rub your balls with the tooth brush, not the paste... same for an itchy arsehole.

Whatever floats your boat.

The Gerbil needs a visit to a Chiropodist.