A young Sydney woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the Harbour.
Just before she could throw herself off Circular Quay, a handsome young man stopped her.
"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Italytomorrow.
I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."
With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Italy , the woman accepted.
That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold.
From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine, and make love to her until dawn.
Two weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.
"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy ."
"I see," the captain says.
Her conscience got the best of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," replied the captain "This is the Manly Ferry .."
The Joke Thread
In that vein.
You are seated at an outdoor table in your favourite bar when someone taps you on the shoulder. You turn to look and he realises his mistake, saying "I thought you were someone else".
You tell him "I am someone else".
I'm using that.Don't worry. I've been drinking.
I've done it quite often and the reactions are priceless.Munch wrote: ↑Wed Jul 22, 2020 4:04 pm
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Insane_Homer
- Posts: 5389
- Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2020 3:14 pm
- Location: Leafy Surrey
some years after school I'd bump into old school mates while out and about, having not seem them in some time...
"I've not seen you in ages!"
"Yeah, I know, I've been avoiding you"
“Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true.”
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Line6 HXFX
- Posts: 1148
- Joined: Sat Jul 04, 2020 9:31 am
Came as a massive surprise to me to hear Yule Brynner was actually a massive Liverpool fan.
Also learned he never wore aftershave.
Yule never wore cologne.
Also learned he never wore aftershave.
Yule never wore cologne.
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HighKingLeinster
- Posts: 250
- Joined: Mon Jun 29, 2020 7:19 pm
whats green and invisible?
If a pencil is rolling down hill is it still stationary?
Spoiler
Show
This Cabbage:
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If a pencil is rolling down hill is it still stationary?
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Marylandolorian
- Posts: 1246
- Joined: Thu Jul 02, 2020 2:47 pm
- Location: Amerikanuak
A man wakes up from a coma.
His doctor asks him what he remembers.
"All I remember is getting on an elevator with a gorgeous woman and her husband.
She had a beautiful cleavage and I couldn't stop staring at it.
She then looked at me and told me...
"Can you please press one?".
His doctor asks him what he remembers.
"All I remember is getting on an elevator with a gorgeous woman and her husband.
She had a beautiful cleavage and I couldn't stop staring at it.
She then looked at me and told me...
"Can you please press one?".
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tabascoboy
- Posts: 6474
- Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2020 8:22 am
- Location: 曇りの街
A blowfly goes into a bar and asks: "Is that stool taken?"
Yuk - but I laughedtabascoboy wrote: ↑Sat Aug 08, 2020 3:52 pm A blowfly goes into a bar and asks: "Is that stool taken?"
I drink and I forget things.
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Casey Ryback
- Posts: 33
- Joined: Tue Jun 30, 2020 6:09 am
- Location: Brisvegas
When John Hopoate was sacked by the Tigers after the finger up the bum scandal, he took a part time job at a bar...
pushing in stools... ( sorry)
pushing in stools... ( sorry)
Sexually transmitted diseases, deforestation, irreversibly progressive depletion of the global gene pool. It all adds up to oblivion, pal. Governments will fall, anarchies will reign. It's a brave new world.