Great Mixed Metaphors / Malapropisms?

[Niegs]

I heard a good one in class today (taking some management courses). A fellow student referred to something was working like a "well-ironed machine". :)

I wondered if he also says he's "got too many oils in the fire"?


Your favs?

[Torquemada 1420]

There is one from an English exam text where the student wrote:
"The woman tripped and tumbled and was found prostitute at the bottom of the stairs."

to which the examiner penned in the margin:
"Really must learn to distinguish between his fallen women."

[Niegs]

There is one from an English exam text where the student wrote:
"The woman tripped and tumbled and was found prostitute at the bottom of the stairs."

to which the examiner penned in the margin:
"Really must learn to distinguish between his fallen women."

That's perfect!

I've heard people mix up prostate with prostrate as well.

[Jim Lahey]

Ricky from Trailer Park Boys has some classics.

-lets get two birds stoned at once
-gotta learn through stuff, denial and error
-its pretty simple, it doesn't take rocket appliances to figure it out
-one man's garbage is another person's good un-garbage

[Uncle fester]

Eddie O'Sullivan thinks this thread is as useful as a trapdoor in a canoe.

[Happyhooker]

My swedish friend who has near perfect English so you often forget she's not a native speaker once attempted to complement my sister by saying "helen, you're just not a pretty face"

She's also complained about being bitten by midgets during the night

[Oh fuck, it's Keith.]

She's also complained about being bitten by midgets during the night

Was it you?

[Happyhooker]

She's also complained about being bitten by midgets during the night

Was it you?

I'm many things, but not plural

[Oh fuck, it's Keith.]

[Ymx]

My swedish friend who has near perfect English so you often forget she's not a native speaker once attempted to complement my sister by saying "helen, you're just not a pretty face"

She's also complained about being bitten by midgets during the night

[Slick]

There is one from an English exam text where the student wrote:
"The woman tripped and tumbled and was found prostitute at the bottom of the stairs."

to which the examiner penned in the margin:
"Really must learn to distinguish between his fallen women."

Absolutely love this