How important is it that you enjoy your job?
I've been in a career for 23 years where I have enjoyed every day on the job, and looked forward to getting to work each morning.
I have two young kids, and I am wondering whether in the years ahead it's good advice for me to tell them to "find a job you love". I realize that I might have got a bit lucky myself, and giving this sort of advice could really backfire , leading to disappointment and disillusionment.
Is it even important to love your job, and are we setting people up for disappointment and misery if we tell them their work should be fun and rewarding?
I have two young kids, and I am wondering whether in the years ahead it's good advice for me to tell them to "find a job you love". I realize that I might have got a bit lucky myself, and giving this sort of advice could really backfire , leading to disappointment and disillusionment.
Is it even important to love your job, and are we setting people up for disappointment and misery if we tell them their work should be fun and rewarding?
- Guy Smiley
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Short answer... yes.
There was a sort of movement 20 or so years back selling self help books and the like based around finding the ‘perfect job’ and a heavy suggestion that not working in a vocation you loved and were endlessly fulfilled by was a tragic waste of your essential life force and a penance on your soul, or something like that. Selling that idea to anyone and especially your kids is setting them up to fail. Very few find a job they can genuinely love and look forward to. Most seem to endure it all. Some... the cluey ones, find a way to be content and balance the pros and cons. That’s a more realistic idea to sell your kids. Find a balance. Engage yourself in meaningful pursuits and if that isn’t your vocation then use that to support those pursuits.
You’re welcome. Send your payment to findyourpassionthroughworkandpaymeforit
There was a sort of movement 20 or so years back selling self help books and the like based around finding the ‘perfect job’ and a heavy suggestion that not working in a vocation you loved and were endlessly fulfilled by was a tragic waste of your essential life force and a penance on your soul, or something like that. Selling that idea to anyone and especially your kids is setting them up to fail. Very few find a job they can genuinely love and look forward to. Most seem to endure it all. Some... the cluey ones, find a way to be content and balance the pros and cons. That’s a more realistic idea to sell your kids. Find a balance. Engage yourself in meaningful pursuits and if that isn’t your vocation then use that to support those pursuits.
You’re welcome. Send your payment to findyourpassionthroughworkandpaymeforit
I think it's important to be realistic about work-life balance and the pros and cons of every job.
When I was getting disillusioned with teaching, I happened to stumble upon a Ken Robinson (RIP!) lecture and another featuring the host of Discovery's "Dirty Jobs". Both praised working class jobs for things that you can't get in many white collar jobs and yet we in the west typically look down on them (unless they make lots of money doing it).
I realized that being happy at work - even if a menial, yet stress-free job on the front line or at the bottom of the totem pole - and having the ability to completely clock out at the end of the day so I could both relax and enjoy my rugby coaching/reffing, my outdoor pursuits, etc. was much more important than doing what people said I should be doing and making the big bucks. So I quit, did a Masters because a librarian told me it'd open more doors (which it did), and for the next few years ended up working for half of what I was making as a teacher. No stress at all, and though sometimes mundane (like my museum and university admissions gigs), I found that I actually liked jobs that kept me busy all day and with the bonus of being able to listen to tunes, podcasts, audiobooks in a secluded room pretty much the whole time.
Admittedly, I'm still chasing the 'perfect' job - but like where I'm at now - as it's too damn expensive for me to live the other dream, which is owning a modest home on a plot of rural land (unless friends want to join me in starting a shared homestead, because sizeable property here is $500k-2million ).
When I was getting disillusioned with teaching, I happened to stumble upon a Ken Robinson (RIP!) lecture and another featuring the host of Discovery's "Dirty Jobs". Both praised working class jobs for things that you can't get in many white collar jobs and yet we in the west typically look down on them (unless they make lots of money doing it).
I realized that being happy at work - even if a menial, yet stress-free job on the front line or at the bottom of the totem pole - and having the ability to completely clock out at the end of the day so I could both relax and enjoy my rugby coaching/reffing, my outdoor pursuits, etc. was much more important than doing what people said I should be doing and making the big bucks. So I quit, did a Masters because a librarian told me it'd open more doors (which it did), and for the next few years ended up working for half of what I was making as a teacher. No stress at all, and though sometimes mundane (like my museum and university admissions gigs), I found that I actually liked jobs that kept me busy all day and with the bonus of being able to listen to tunes, podcasts, audiobooks in a secluded room pretty much the whole time.
Admittedly, I'm still chasing the 'perfect' job - but like where I'm at now - as it's too damn expensive for me to live the other dream, which is owning a modest home on a plot of rural land (unless friends want to join me in starting a shared homestead, because sizeable property here is $500k-2million ).
- mat the expat
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Sounds like you are having a good Midlife....
Sometimes you can't have the job you love, especially in this climate.
Sometimes you can't have the job you love, especially in this climate.
This is actually real wisdom. Top effort. I will indeed be passing on this kind of advice. The check is in the mail.Shanky’s mate wrote: ↑Mon Aug 31, 2020 2:27 am Short answer... yes.
There was a sort of movement 20 or so years back selling self help books and the like based around finding the ‘perfect job’ and a heavy suggestion that not working in a vocation you loved and were endlessly fulfilled by was a tragic waste of your essential life force and a penance on your soul, or something like that. Selling that idea to anyone and especially your kids is setting them up to fail. Very few find a job they can genuinely love and look forward to. Most seem to endure it all. Some... the cluey ones, find a way to be content and balance the pros and cons. That’s a more realistic idea to sell your kids. Find a balance. Engage yourself in meaningful pursuits and if that isn’t your vocation then use that to support those pursuits.
You’re welcome. Send your payment to findyourpassionthroughworkandpaymeforit
- mat the expat
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Exactly right.
I don't mind my job but would drop it in a heartbeat if something more interesting was viable
Through our teens my mates and I always had holiday jobs, usually menial stuff like haymaking, picking spuds, berries etc. I think it's important for kids to develop a good work ethic, regardless of where life later leads them - a bit of resilience so that when they're inevitably faced with a shit task they respond by rolling up their sleeves and getting on with it.
- Margin__Walker
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I don't love my job. Can be stressful and is a field I fell into by accident.
That said, I've no thoughts for leaving to try and find my my calling. It's flexible, allows me to pretty much work full time from home over 4 days so I can spend more time with my family and do things I want to do. It's as secure as any job is these days and by and large they are decent people to work for.
That said, I've no thoughts for leaving to try and find my my calling. It's flexible, allows me to pretty much work full time from home over 4 days so I can spend more time with my family and do things I want to do. It's as secure as any job is these days and by and large they are decent people to work for.
- Carter's Choice
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By "enjoying" your job does the OP mean that you would do it even if you weren't been paid? Because I enjoy my job but wouldn't do it on a voluntary basis. Don't get me wrong, it's often very tough and challenging and I often feel like I've done 10 rounds with Mike Tyson at the end of a shift. But it's also very satisfying and rewarding.
My dad taught me to do whatever job suited my lifestyle at that time and to do it to 100% of my ability. If circumstances changed, change jobs, and repeat. I've worked at menial jobs paying a living wage, in white collar jobs paying averagely well, in the financial industry being paid an absurd amount of money, and have been self-employed for a decent length of time, with the leeway to increase my hours if I want more money but to keep them at a decent level enabling me to maintain a decent life-work balance. I can honestly admit that I enjoyed each of them at the time, even if I would not go back to any of the salaried positions I had.
Not that you’d do it for free. Just that you find it satisfying and rewarding.Carter's Choice wrote: ↑Mon Aug 31, 2020 7:32 am By "enjoying" your job does the OP mean that you would do it even if you weren't been paid? Because I enjoy my job but wouldn't do it on a voluntary basis. Don't get me wrong, it's often very tough and challenging and I often feel like I've done 10 rounds with Mike Tyson at the end of a shift. But it's also very satisfying and rewarding.
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Also remember that a lot of how you feel about a career will be down to the people you work with.
The actual job might not be great but if you have a team of people you get on with and as others have said - you can can leave the office and pursue things you like, then you can get through pretty well.
If the people you work with stress you out and you start questioning why you're doing something, a change of company in the same industry can potentially get you the result you want.
Basically do what you can do well that leaves you time to do what you want, and if needed tell co-workers to piss off
The actual job might not be great but if you have a team of people you get on with and as others have said - you can can leave the office and pursue things you like, then you can get through pretty well.
If the people you work with stress you out and you start questioning why you're doing something, a change of company in the same industry can potentially get you the result you want.
Basically do what you can do well that leaves you time to do what you want, and if needed tell co-workers to piss off
"He who finds a job he loves need never work another day in his life." - Keith Quinn
I work in a job I quite enjoy most of the time and the rest of the time it is tolerable. But at the end of the day I am 'making a living' and it provides me with financial security and a lifestyle I enjoy where I can pursue my other passions outside of work.
My wife on the other hand is a workaholic and is incredibly passionate about her job and career. It is the reason she gets out of bed every morning and she is absolutely driven by it.
We are both happy in our own way but I get a lot more of my happiness from my hobbies outside of work whereas her happiness is driven by her work, contacts and success in her career.
Different means to the same end.
I work in a job I quite enjoy most of the time and the rest of the time it is tolerable. But at the end of the day I am 'making a living' and it provides me with financial security and a lifestyle I enjoy where I can pursue my other passions outside of work.
My wife on the other hand is a workaholic and is incredibly passionate about her job and career. It is the reason she gets out of bed every morning and she is absolutely driven by it.
We are both happy in our own way but I get a lot more of my happiness from my hobbies outside of work whereas her happiness is driven by her work, contacts and success in her career.
Different means to the same end.
Don't have kids, sounds a futile and miserable endeavour, global warming and automation is going to make any happy and positive future pointless for 99% of the population.
On a more serious note, yeah, I reckon find a job that is at least bearable, provided they understand that that may require some hard work, compromise, and a the occasional bad year in the process. I'm now in a job I enjoy after many years in a rubbish one, I'd take a pay cut to keep this one.
On a more serious note, yeah, I reckon find a job that is at least bearable, provided they understand that that may require some hard work, compromise, and a the occasional bad year in the process. I'm now in a job I enjoy after many years in a rubbish one, I'd take a pay cut to keep this one.
- redderneck
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If you’re one of the lucky few who love what you do, great. If not then at least love the extra curricular and become good enough at whatever you do to fund them and provide the time for them.
The balance is key, because I know two lads who love what they do and are hugely regarded for their work; but are workaholics without realising it. Or not until too late. One marriage slowly unravelling; another is held together only cos his Mrs has contracted herself into the lifestyle, and checked out of everything else and the guy has no relationship with his kids. But they LOVE what they do.
If you don’t get a kick out of what you do, but are meandering along not getting a kick out of the family and extra curricular, or are not even bothering with the non-work side of your life: shit scene. Change it up. You’ll be long enough dead without behaving like you are in advance.
The balance is key, because I know two lads who love what they do and are hugely regarded for their work; but are workaholics without realising it. Or not until too late. One marriage slowly unravelling; another is held together only cos his Mrs has contracted herself into the lifestyle, and checked out of everything else and the guy has no relationship with his kids. But they LOVE what they do.
If you don’t get a kick out of what you do, but are meandering along not getting a kick out of the family and extra curricular, or are not even bothering with the non-work side of your life: shit scene. Change it up. You’ll be long enough dead without behaving like you are in advance.
Important to me. I used to work in Finance IT, senior infrastructure project manager, good pay, but I ended up hating it and it made me ill. Decided to get out and I'm now in tech transfer / business interaction stuff, and a little bit of economic development, with an academic research institute. Pay about 25% lower but the work is genuinely interesting and worthwhile, unlike in the previous role.
And are there two g’s in Bugger Off?
Ive somehow ended up halfway to exactly what i dreamed of while hating my job in my 20's. I was land surveying and enjoyed the environment but not what i was achieving "with my hands"...
Now I am living off the grid with my partner and our lil boy. We have 23 acres that cost 140k... absolute shit piece of land that took 4 years of weekend work to get kinda under control. Hard work but felt like camping in the evenings and I have great memories of those years. Now im working 3 days in the city (construction) and 4 days at home with the boy(3yo) and attempting to start a market garden.
My advice to those who would like the homestead / off grid / country is drop all pretences of what almost everyone else takes for granted! Ive built a 30m² house and installed a 3kw solar setup. We got down to the last 2000ltr of water in our tank at the end of summer and i almost had to buy fucking water. Ive built a composting toilet and our internet is 3g/4g rural network. I manage my power and water daily. It costs me $30 to get into town so thats the first hour of work for me. But my mortgage is $230 a week and my nearest neighbour is half a km away so ....
Im not rich and never will be but i like to think Ive chosen this for my kids upbringing and I love the day to day living so what else matters
Now I am living off the grid with my partner and our lil boy. We have 23 acres that cost 140k... absolute shit piece of land that took 4 years of weekend work to get kinda under control. Hard work but felt like camping in the evenings and I have great memories of those years. Now im working 3 days in the city (construction) and 4 days at home with the boy(3yo) and attempting to start a market garden.
My advice to those who would like the homestead / off grid / country is drop all pretences of what almost everyone else takes for granted! Ive built a 30m² house and installed a 3kw solar setup. We got down to the last 2000ltr of water in our tank at the end of summer and i almost had to buy fucking water. Ive built a composting toilet and our internet is 3g/4g rural network. I manage my power and water daily. It costs me $30 to get into town so thats the first hour of work for me. But my mortgage is $230 a week and my nearest neighbour is half a km away so ....
Im not rich and never will be but i like to think Ive chosen this for my kids upbringing and I love the day to day living so what else matters
- Jimmy Smallsteps
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I don't love my job but it's fine. I basically followed my best subjects at school which were English and History and managed to parlay that into a reasonably lucrative career.
I don't have kids but I think the advice is solid. Just follow your interests, your strengths, and you'll do okay.
I don't have kids but I think the advice is solid. Just follow your interests, your strengths, and you'll do okay.
Last edited by Jimmy Smallsteps on Mon Aug 31, 2020 1:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Sounds acePonga wrote: ↑Mon Aug 31, 2020 12:21 pm Ive somehow ended up halfway to exactly what i dreamed of while hating my job in my 20's. I was land surveying and enjoyed the environment but not what i was achieving "with my hands"...
Now I am living off the grid with my partner and our lil boy. We have 23 acres that cost 140k... absolute shit piece of land that took 4 years of weekend work to get kinda under control. Hard work but felt like camping in the evenings and I have great memories of those years. Now im working 3 days in the city (construction) and 4 days at home with the boy(3yo) and attempting to start a market garden.
My advice to those who would like the homestead / off grid / country is drop all pretences of what almost everyone else takes for granted! Ive built a 30m² house and installed a 3kw solar setup. We got down to the last 2000ltr of water in our tank at the end of summer and i almost had to buy fucking water. Ive built a composting toilet and our internet is 3g/4g rural network. I manage my power and water daily. It costs me $30 to get into town so thats the first hour of work for me. But my mortgage is $230 a week and my nearest neighbour is half a km away so ....
Im not rich and never will be but i like to think Ive chosen this for my kids upbringing and I love the day to day living so what else matters
- Jimmy Smallsteps
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An 8 hour shift in the principal's office with your name on the door and both screens on NPR must be brutal.Carter's Choice wrote: ↑Mon Aug 31, 2020 7:32 am By "enjoying" your job does the OP mean that you would do it even if you weren't been paid? Because I enjoy my job but wouldn't do it on a voluntary basis. Don't get me wrong, it's often very tough and challenging and I often feel like I've done 10 rounds with Mike Tyson at the end of a shift. But it's also very satisfying and rewarding.
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I don't enjoy my job at all. My job is all about purpose. Helping people is fucking difficult. It is more important you help them, than enjoy it or that they are grateful or you feel fulfilled.
My needs have to come second, third or fourth (or nowhere) everytime.
My needs have to come second, third or fourth (or nowhere) everytime.
Last edited by Line6 HXFX on Mon Aug 31, 2020 5:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.
It very much depends on a number of factors. Working as closely as I do with one other person for 12 hours + can make or break a shift. If every job I go to is pish then I definitely don't enjoy it and this happens frustratingly too much. When I am actually afforded the opportunity to make a difference (even in a small way) then I do enjoy it, I also enjoy the pressure and stress but I'm a bit if a weirdo.
I suppose if this is a criteria then I've volunteered to train with a couple of different charities.Carter's Choice wrote: ↑Mon Aug 31, 2020 7:32 am By "enjoying" your job does the OP mean that you would do it even if you weren't been paid?
Definitely don't love my work. But my job lets me work from home, with extreme flexibility. Planning on going on a canal holiday soon, and I'm pretty confident that as long as there's phone signal, I can do enough work during it, that my office won't need to cover me at all.
The dream perhaps would be to move onto the canals, but that's going to have to be after the boy is no longer in school, so a long way in the future, and who knows if I'll be in the same role.
The dream perhaps would be to move onto the canals, but that's going to have to be after the boy is no longer in school, so a long way in the future, and who knows if I'll be in the same role.
Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Having a job is far better than not having a job (unless you do not need the money!). I had a job I hated for years... then decided to do something I liked, instead. Can recommend
All went south with COVID19, mind. Now doing a job which I quite like, but not all the time. Still much better than earning a lot and being miserable, though.
All went south with COVID19, mind. Now doing a job which I quite like, but not all the time. Still much better than earning a lot and being miserable, though.
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My job is fine, but I wouldn't do it if we lived in a paradise where no one needed to work. It's bearable. I enjoy that it gives me the resources to get things that give genuine enjoyment.
- fishfoodie
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There's a Chuck Yeager quote; along the lines of:Kiwias wrote: ↑Mon Aug 31, 2020 7:42 am My dad taught me to do whatever job suited my lifestyle at that time and to do it to 100% of my ability. If circumstances changed, change jobs, and repeat. I've worked at menial jobs paying a living wage, in white collar jobs paying averagely well, in the financial industry being paid an absurd amount of money, and have been self-employed for a decent length of time, with the leeway to increase my hours if I want more money but to keep them at a decent level enabling me to maintain a decent life-work balance. I can honestly admit that I enjoyed each of them at the time, even if I would not go back to any of the salaried positions I had.
the point being that it's no good doing a job you hate because you want the money; you're much better off doing a job you enjoy, & trading a healthier mind, for money."Find a Job you enjoy doing, & adjust your lifestyle to match"
He also said:
Chuck Yeager wrote:You do what you can for as long as you can, and when you finally can't, you do the next best thing. You back up but you don't give up.
- stunt_cunt
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Been printing for 30+ years, self employed for 20 or so of it. Done with it now so looking at setting up the Mrs with a little cafe or something so I can just hang out the back and wash dishes or something mundane just to help out.
I enjoy my trade, I'm just over the client interaction and sorting people's minor drama out. So I'll phase out the conventional service aspect of my own business and concentrate on creating my own work. I get a bit of work from a national sporting body so I'll hold onto them but everyone else can fuck off for the most part.
I'd say its definitely important to enjoy what you're doing. Money doesn't make what you're doing any more tolerable if it's something you're not into.
I enjoy my trade, I'm just over the client interaction and sorting people's minor drama out. So I'll phase out the conventional service aspect of my own business and concentrate on creating my own work. I get a bit of work from a national sporting body so I'll hold onto them but everyone else can fuck off for the most part.
I'd say its definitely important to enjoy what you're doing. Money doesn't make what you're doing any more tolerable if it's something you're not into.
- mat the expat
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Easy to say when you're flying jetsfishfoodie wrote: ↑Mon Aug 31, 2020 10:32 pm
He also said:
Chuck Yeager wrote:You do what you can for as long as you can, and when you finally can't, you do the next best thing. You back up but you don't give up.
Not quite the same thing for modern offices....
- Uncle fester
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Like bits of my job but loathe plenty of it.
Dream of doing something different but it's hard to give up that security net.
Like most engineers I'm sociable with, I won't be encouraging kids to get into it.
Dream of doing something different but it's hard to give up that security net.
Like most engineers I'm sociable with, I won't be encouraging kids to get into it.
- mat the expat
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Also, it's tough to change careers with Mortgage and/or kids.Uncle fester wrote: ↑Tue Sep 01, 2020 11:07 am Like bits of my job but loathe plenty of it.
Dream of doing something different but it's hard to give up that security net.
Like most engineers I'm sociable with, I won't be encouraging kids to get into it.
I've moved across from Tech to non-tech which was hard enough
Been thinking about this exact question lately, not for me, but I’ve got a little nipper and one on the way, so I’m just mulling over what advice I’d give them when they’re older.
Not nailed it yet, but I think the evidence I’ve seen shows earning a higher salary, up to a certain level, increases happiness (for various reasons). Plus, as I’ll have 2 girls, I want them to be financially independent so that some gas lighting prick doesn’t take advantage.
However, I also like learning about philosophy, and can see the whole issue of ‘fulfilment’ is different to happiness, and it’s actually the pursuit of fulfilment that makes us feel good, rather than enjoying fleeting happiness.
So, I’m leaning towards saying; what do you enjoy?
And then ask why they enjoy it, and keep asking ‘why’ until we get to the bottom of what drives their fulfilment. Then I’ll help them research careers that can align with that, which also involves a good salary.
Yep. Just re-read all of that, and realised I have turned into ‘one of those’ parents
Not nailed it yet, but I think the evidence I’ve seen shows earning a higher salary, up to a certain level, increases happiness (for various reasons). Plus, as I’ll have 2 girls, I want them to be financially independent so that some gas lighting prick doesn’t take advantage.
However, I also like learning about philosophy, and can see the whole issue of ‘fulfilment’ is different to happiness, and it’s actually the pursuit of fulfilment that makes us feel good, rather than enjoying fleeting happiness.
So, I’m leaning towards saying; what do you enjoy?
And then ask why they enjoy it, and keep asking ‘why’ until we get to the bottom of what drives their fulfilment. Then I’ll help them research careers that can align with that, which also involves a good salary.
Yep. Just re-read all of that, and realised I have turned into ‘one of those’ parents
- Denny Crane
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If you don't enjoy your job but you stay in it for what it affords you , then the best that you can hope for is to suffer in comfort. However, if your job disturbs you to the extent that you spend significant amounts of time resenting being then chances are you are exchanging health for wealth.
Every stress leaves an indelible scar and the organism pays for it by becoming a little older Hans Selye
Every stress leaves an indelible scar and the organism pays for it by becoming a little older Hans Selye
“As a rule we disbelieve all the facts and theories for which we have no use.”
― William James
― William James