NPR

Pretty sure tomorrow night will be the 6 month anniversary of my last big night out which resulted in me realizing it was time to ditch the bottle.

I must say thank you to everyone on this thread current and past, it was the closest thing I came to doing group sessions. I've had a few days where I think I'd enjoy a beer with mates, but the desire to break the seal knowing where it leads has pretty much disappeared.

Monkey Magic wrote: ↑Wed Mar 01, 2023 6:50 am Pretty sure tomorrow night will be the 6 month anniversary of my last big night out which resulted in me realizing it was time to ditch the bottle.

I must say thank you to everyone on this thread current and past, it was the closest thing I came to doing group sessions. I've had a few days where I think I'd enjoy a beer with mates, but the desire to break the seal knowing where it leads has pretty much disappeared.

MM

Good to hear your news and losing the desire to open a bottle is a pretty significant step forward. Hang in there, mate.

Kiwias wrote: ↑Wed Mar 01, 2023 8:09 am

Monkey Magic wrote: ↑Wed Mar 01, 2023 6:50 am Pretty sure tomorrow night will be the 6 month anniversary of my last big night out which resulted in me realizing it was time to ditch the bottle.

I must say thank you to everyone on this thread current and past, it was the closest thing I came to doing group sessions. I've had a few days where I think I'd enjoy a beer with mates, but the desire to break the seal knowing where it leads has pretty much disappeared.

MM

Good to hear your news and losing the desire to open a bottle is a pretty significant step forward. Hang in there, mate.

Well done Monkey

Great stuff guys.
A credit to the forum.
Thanks, Kiwias

C69 wrote: ↑Fri Mar 03, 2023 10:46 pm Great stuff guys.
A credit to the forum.
Thanks, Kiwias

https://tenor.com/ww9n.gif

Just wonder if the battle is really won when one can open a bottle and know it won't end up with lying in a gutter?

Torquemada 1420 wrote: ↑Sat Mar 11, 2023 5:59 am Just wonder if the battle is really won when one can open a bottle and know it won't end up with lying in a gutter?

I'm new to this, but not sure it's a battle with alcohol, more a war with lots of battles in it. Yes you might win that battle, but there could be a reversal if you go into battle too often

Torquemada 1420 wrote: ↑Sat Mar 11, 2023 5:59 am Just wonder if the battle is really won when one can open a bottle and know it won't end up with lying in a gutter?

I reckon I could have a glass then stop, the first time and maybe even the second time.

The problem I have is that I am absolutely certain that this small success would make me confident that I could have two glasses the next time, and so on.

In no time at all, I would be in that gutter.

Kiwias wrote: ↑Sat Mar 11, 2023 7:18 am

Torquemada 1420 wrote: ↑Sat Mar 11, 2023 5:59 am Just wonder if the battle is really won when one can open a bottle and know it won't end up with lying in a gutter?

I reckon I could have a glass then stop, the first time and maybe even the second time.

The problem I have is that I am absolutely certain that this small success would make me confident that I could have two glasses the next time, and so on.

In no time at all, I would be in that gutter.

Absolutely this.

Monkey Magic wrote: ↑Sat Mar 11, 2023 6:54 am

Torquemada 1420 wrote: ↑Sat Mar 11, 2023 5:59 am Just wonder if the battle is really won when one can open a bottle and know it won't end up with lying in a gutter?

I'm new to this, but not sure it's a battle with alcohol, more a war with lots of battles in it. Yes you might win that battle, but there could be a reversal if you go into battle too often

I like the way you described what I was trying to say and might use that if you don’t mind.

Quick check in.

I’m getting close to 1000 days. May 15. Hopefully I remember the day at the time.

I’m still without alcohol, and barely think about it, and happy without it. Had some bad anxiety last year, but coped with it, without alcohol.

Despite not thinking about drinking, I’ve noticed more recently I’ve been having dreams where I believe I had. There hasn’t been any drink consumed in the dream, but more like I’m placed in the moment after I’d been drinking. Not feeling drunk or anything like that, just the knowing that it had happened and feeling guilty because of it.

How are you others all doing?

Ymx

Great news, mate. I often had dreams during the first 4~5 years in which alcohol featured, some in which I was drinking and some more like yours. But not now.

Things are cruising well.

Kiwias wrote: ↑Thu Apr 13, 2023 7:14 am Ymx

Great news, mate. I often had dreams during the first 4~5 years in which alcohol featured, some in which I was drinking and some more like yours. But not now.

Things are cruising well.

For the record, I asked Asmo to change my user name to Bambi - I preferred your nickname the best (as per other thread). Though he didn’t do it.

May I ask what age your children were when you stopped drinking? And how did you feel about them drinking?

My daughter is 10 now, but she is now aware of alcohol and it’s immediate effects (buzz). After a quick chat which she instigated, I had the impression she was quite excited to try it when she was older. Presumably she had been informed by other school friends about it.

I was kind of startled, as never thought about this angle, and in the coming years would have to. I also had no idea what to say to her about her feelings.

Ymx wrote: ↑Thu Apr 13, 2023 8:13 am

Kiwias wrote: ↑Thu Apr 13, 2023 7:14 am Ymx

Great news, mate. I often had dreams during the first 4~5 years in which alcohol featured, some in which I was drinking and some more like yours. But not now.

Things are cruising well.

For the record, I asked Asmo to change my user name to Bambi - I preferred your nickname the best (as per other thread). Though he didn’t do it.

May I ask what age your children were when you stopped drinking? And how did you feel about them drinking?

My daughter is 10 now, but she is now aware of alcohol and it’s immediate effects (buzz). After a quick chat which she instigated, I had the impression she was quite excited to try it when she was older. Presumably she had been informed by other school friends about it.

I was kind of startled, as never thought about this angle, and in the coming years would have to. I also had no idea what to say to her about her feelings.

My case is a bit different because I divorced the kids' mother when the older boy was 12 and younger one was 9, so I missed the years when they were experimenting with alcohol.

That said, after restoring the relationship with my older lad, I found that he did some binge drinking when he was 16 or so in the bars of Yokohama, but discovered that he really did not like the loss of control and ability to make sensible decisions when he was drunk. So when he moved to NZ when 17, he basically gave up and even now at the age of 40, only occasionally has a beer, and never more than one.

I admitted to him that I was really happy about the way he handled his experimentation and what he decided to do with alcohol in his life.

I’m a few months of 15 years which is quite exciting. We recently spent a week oversees with friends holidaying. It amused me watching my wife and her friends have a few beers at the pool in the afternoon then a few more at dinner each day but never getting drunk.

We currently have other friends staying with us for a few nights and yesterday I literally walked out of an AA meeting into the bottle shop to pick them up a box of beer on my way home. In the same way my drinking life seemed completely normal back then my sober life now feels completely normal.

Harveys wrote: ↑Sat Apr 15, 2023 8:50 am I’m a few months of 15 years which is quite exciting. We recently spent a week oversees with friends holidaying. It amused me watching my wife and her friends have a few beers at the pool in the afternoon then a few more at dinner each day but never getting drunk.

We currently have other friends staying with us for a few nights and yesterday I literally walked out of an AA meeting into the bottle shop to pick them up a box of beer on my way home. In the same way my drinking life seemed completely normal back then my sober life now feels completely normal.

Well done, indeed. I had to laugh at the story of you popping into the bottle shop to grab some beer for your friends. In the same vein, my wife usually gets me to open the wine bottle and pour it for her when she wants a glass with dinner, seemingly comfortable with the knowledge that asking me to do this will not trigger me.

Being sober is who I am now and there is no fucking way I ever want to go back to the old days.

I'm almost 7 months into sobriety (putting aside a couple of lapses) and feel better physically - sleeping better. Mentally somewhat of a dry drunk and trying to work through some issues.

I don't hear the siren call of the booze though and find I can drink 0% beer (when I have to i.e. at the pub or social gatherings) without succumbing to temptation.
Don't want to drink OJ (sugars) or coke (sugars, caffeine). I guess I could drink water but nah too boring.

Inspiring to hear others' journeys here, heartfelt thanks to you all

.

Canes4Eva wrote: ↑Sat Apr 22, 2023 6:03 am I'm almost 7 months into sobriety (putting aside a couple of lapses) and feel better physically - sleeping better. Mentally somewhat of a dry drunk and trying to work through some issues.

I don't hear the siren call of the booze though and find I can drink 0% beer (when I have to i.e. at the pub or social gatherings) without succumbing to temptation.
Don't want to drink OJ (sugars) or coke (sugars, caffeine). I guess I could drink water but nah too boring.

Inspiring to hear others' journeys here, heartfelt thanks to you all

Canes4Eva

Well done, mate.

Becoming sober is the start of a journey of self-discovery and that you are still trying to work through some issues is a healthy sign, because the journey can be a long and at times arduous journey.

What makes it worthwhile is the benefits from being sober, some of which you are already aware, but trust me that these benefits will only increase over time.

Trust yourself and be proud of your achievements.

.

I just watched a Parkinson interview with Barry Humphries, who discusses his alcoholism in the bit from 7'44" to 12'12".

Definitely worth a listen, especially the last bit where he talks about how his professional career really took off after he became sober.

Just realised I hit 1000 days without alcohol 2 days ago!!

Ymx wrote: ↑Wed May 17, 2023 5:23 am Just realised I hit 1000 days without alcohol 2 days ago!!

An outstanding achievement, mate, be proud of yourself and give yourself a huge pat on the back.

Cheers mate. Has been a good thread to chat through my experiences, and changing views. So a big thanks to you for that.

I know we have found our way through different journeys, and have differing opinions on things (on what we know has worked for ourselves), but we are heading to the same destination, forging ahead.

Ymx wrote: ↑Wed May 17, 2023 6:13 am Cheers mate. Has been a good thread to chat through my experiences, and changing views. So a big thanks to you for that.

I know we have found our way through different journeys, and have differing opinions on things (on what we know has worked for ourselves), but we are heading to the same destination, forging ahead.

I've never believed there is only one way to sobriety and love it when others find their own way and then reap the benefits.

Congratulations YMX great achievement. There are many different ways to reach the top of the mountain, if your path gets you there than it was the right path for you.

Ymx wrote: ↑Wed May 17, 2023 5:23 am Just realised I hit 1000 days without alcohol 2 days ago!!

Excellent news.

I am not at the stage of absence but doing well with no complacency.

62 days since my last drink and determination still strong. Not putting extra pressure on by telling myself it's forever, but pleased with myself so far

And 1 guest wrote: ↑Wed May 17, 2023 11:52 pm 62 days since my last drink and determination still strong. Not putting extra pressure on by telling myself it's forever, but pleased with myself so far

Good on you. Tell yourself it is for this day, then tomorrow tell yourself it is for that day. Rinse and repeat.

And 1 guest wrote: ↑Wed May 17, 2023 11:52 pm 62 days since my last drink and determination still strong. Not putting extra pressure on by telling myself it's forever, but pleased with myself so far

Great stuff. I remember that. I think that’s the right plan.

My experience was that after a year, it was no longer about thoughts of forbidding myself forever, it was an - I actually don’t want to, I’ve enjoyed feeling how I do and I have zero desire to go back.

Thanks guys. I always thought I could take it or leave it, then realised I had opted for take it for 40 years.

And 1 guest wrote: ↑Thu May 18, 2023 8:33 am Thanks guys. I always thought I could take it or leave it, then realised I had opted for take it for 40 years.

Reaching that awareness that you had always chosen to drink when you actually thought you were in control is a critical step, one we all have to make at some point.

Hang in there, mate, it does get easier, as Ymx said.

Well done lads, great effort and delighted to see you succeed.

15 years yesterday, I’ve officially been sober longer than I drank & drugged which is nothing to sneeze at as I was an absolute nightmare. While I’m grateful to AA, my relationship with it has changed over the last couple of years, I’m trying to strike a balance of participation while keeping myself at arm’s length.

Harveys wrote: ↑Fri Jun 02, 2023 10:57 am 15 years yesterday, I’ve officially been sober longer than I drank & drugged which is nothing to sneeze at as I was an absolute nightmare. While I’m grateful to AA, my relationship with it has changed over the last couple of years, I’m trying to strike a balance of participation while keeping myself at arm’s length.

15 years pffft

But seriously, that’s amazing!

Congrats to you Harvey’s.


PS I finally managed to figure out how to get alerts to the thread.
First you need to go to your profile to enable subscribed topic thread notifications. Here
ucp.php?i=ucp_notifications&mode=notification_options
Check the box for “Notification” “Someone replies to a topic to which you are subscribed” boxes. Save.

Then you go to the thread, just about the posts, click on the spanner/toolbox icon, and click subscribe to this topic

Harveys wrote: ↑Fri Jun 02, 2023 10:57 am 15 years yesterday, I’ve officially been sober longer than I drank & drugged which is nothing to sneeze at as I was an absolute nightmare. While I’m grateful to AA, my relationship with it has changed over the last couple of years, I’m trying to strike a balance of participation while keeping myself at arm’s length.

CONGRATULATIONS!!

Thanks Gents

Harveys wrote: ↑Sat Jun 03, 2023 6:19 am Thanks Gents

It’s a nice chunk of your life, you’ve elected this path. So well deserved.

May I ask the evolved nature of your relationship with AA?

Coming from my place - CBT for a year and then continued all by myself (and you lot of course). So I find it amazing to devote one’s life and attention to it for such a long time. I mean there’s giving back and then there’s what you and kiwias do …,

Ymx wrote: ↑Sat Jun 03, 2023 5:36 pm

Harveys wrote: ↑Sat Jun 03, 2023 6:19 am Thanks Gents

It’s a nice chunk of your life, you’ve elected this path. So well deserved.

May I ask the evolved nature of your relationship with AA?

Coming from my place - CBT for a year and then continued all by myself (and you lot of course). So I find it amazing to devote one’s life and attention to it for such a long time. I mean there’s giving back and then there’s what you and kiwias do …,

I’m not sure I have a succinct answer for that right now, il come back to it.