Quitting the bottle

[booji boy]

I’ve slowly slipped back to the old ways, lockdown didn’t help. Of course lockdown was actually an opportunity to get really fit, but I took the other option...

Anyway, stopping again on Monday for a few weeks and see where we go. I know my life is better without it which really makes me pissed off with myself.

If you took a wrong turn while on a journey you would never say that you had to go back to the start, you would simply continue on from where you happen to be.

Don't ever think that 1 slip (or even multiple slips or relapses) brings you back to some dark place in your past, it doesn't. You've already shown that you have the strength to pick up & carry on; don't beat yourself up about an error in judgement.

As they dinned into us in rehab: Guilt is the most pointless emotion.

(Smartrecovery spends a lot of time on Disputing Irrational Beliefs and turning negative emotions into more positive ones. Some of their material is available online & can be helpful reading.)

lilyw

I'm going to use that!!!

Similar to a saying I came across many years ago. Think of the journey you are on like a bike ride. From time to time you might fall off the bike. But you don't abandon the bike ride due to the setback. You dust yourself and climb back on the bike and continue the journey.

[Kiwias]

[Slick]

Present and correct. I’m just sitting here in a beautiful hotel in Connemara celebrating my 30th wedding anniversary with my wonderful wife, and this thread is a powerful reminder of what could have been if I hadn’t addressed my drinking 13 years ago. I have no doubt that I would be dead and/or divorced if I hadn’t stopped drinking when I did, and, far from being a sacrifice, it has been the most wonderful gift I could have given myself and, more importantly, my family.

Many thanks Kiwias for reviving this great thread.

Lenny

The sentiments you express so eloquently fit my life perfectly. I shudder to think what would have happened had I snot stopped drinking but I know for certain I would have been abandoned by my wife, if I had not already died, and I would have not seen my gorgeous grandchildren or revived my relationship with my elder son.

Life is good.

That was very powerful actually, Lenny

[Sandstorm]

Think of the journey you are on like a bike ride. From time to time you might fall off the bike. But you don't abandon the bike ride due to the setback. You dust yourself and climb back on the bike and continue the journey.

Screw that! If you're 10 year old me you wipe out, fcuk the bike into the nearby river in a rage and stomp home bawling your eyes out.

[booji boy]

Think of the journey you are on like a bike ride. From time to time you might fall off the bike. But you don't abandon the bike ride due to the setback. You dust yourself and climb back on the bike and continue the journey.

Screw that! If you're 10 year old me you wipe out, fcuk the bike into the nearby river in a rage and stomp home bawling your eyes out.

The biggest crap off I've ever had was when I was about 14 years old. Screaming down a hill at high speed my mate beside me and somehow our handlebars became intertwined and interlocked! Over we went, me on the bottom scraping along the road losing equal amounts of skin and paint off my shiny new bike. Workers from a nearby factory came and scraped us off the road and took us inside to apply first aid and call our mums. Whilst I lost a lot of skin off my knee I think I was more upset about the damage to my bike.

[Harveys]

I reckon it is time we had a roll call on the new bored, though I know there will be some posters who have not made the move over here and some who have new names. I'm happily sober and would love to hear from everyone. Let me know if your name is missing from the honours board.


Rocketz
hookah
d'arse
CrazyIslander
Lenny
Gwenno -- your son
Trogs
HKCJ
Old Man by the Sea
dt678
Harveys
chur bro
Seneca
Theaxe
eugenius
Armchair_Superstar
BokStorm
slick
SorCrer
Tschussie
Ho Chi Minh
lilyw

Re post from PR...

Recently celebrated 12 years, got ‘a say, hands down the best thing I’ve ever done for myself, not that I had a lot of options in the end. I guess I’m just grateful that it stuck, I watch a lot of people who really need it but for whatever reason don’t seem to be able to hang on to it.

[Kiwias]

Re post from PR...

Recently celebrated 12 years, got ‘a say, hands down the best thing I’ve ever done for myself, not that I had a lot of options in the end. I guess I’m just grateful that it stuck, I watch a lot of people who really need it but for whatever reason don’t seem to be able to hang on to it.

Harveys

There must have been a time that 12 years sober would have seemed like Mt Everest but here you are, sitting pretty on the top of the mountain.

Well done

[lilyw]

I’ve slowly slipped back to the old ways, lockdown didn’t help. Of course lockdown was actually an opportunity to get really fit, but I took the other option...

Anyway, stopping again on Monday for a few weeks and see where we go. I know my life is better without it which really makes me pissed off with myself.

If you took a wrong turn while on a journey you would never say that you had to go back to the start, you would simply continue on from where you happen to be.

Don't ever think that 1 slip (or even multiple slips or relapses) brings you back to some dark place in your past, it doesn't. You've already shown that you have the strength to pick up & carry on; don't beat yourself up about an error in judgement.

As they dinned into us in rehab: Guilt is the most pointless emotion.

(Smartrecovery spends a lot of time on Disputing Irrational Beliefs and turning negative emotions into more positive ones. Some of their material is available online & can be helpful reading.)

http://smartrecoverybc.com/index.php/re ... ework.html


This is a useful set of self help tools during isolation.

[Kiwias]

I came across an article discussing AA

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/v74x ... um=website

One highly interesting comment regarding the "religious" aspect of AA:

In a Swedish study on AA, researchers asked members if they believed in God, and 80 percent said no.

[lilyw]

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CEYXws1jSB ... hare_sheet

Simple but far too true to life. I'm not on Instagram so I don't seem to be able to just link the video itself.

[Kiwias]

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CEYXws1jSB ... hare_sheet

Simple but far too true to life. I'm not on Instagram so I don't seem to be able to just link the video itself.

Very close to home indeed.

[Kiwias]

It has been a bitch of a year and 2~3 of my group unfortunately ended up back in hospital after the pressure got on top of them. No, I am not one of them. I am happily sober.

I hope our merry band here are all doing well.

[Kiwias]

I came across this gem of a YouTube interview with Craig Ferguson.

Ferguson’s response was perfect. He replied that this entire paradigm is mistaken. He said that currently, “There is a prevailing thought […] that when you stop taking the substance for which you’re addicted, you’re somehow denying yourself something.”

In actuality, Ferguson argued, the opposite is true: “I’m not denying myself anything. I am stopping doing something which actually I loathe, but I had difficulty not doing.”

[Fangle]

I see than Anthony Hopkins is celebrating 45 years of sobriety. Congratulations to him for a great effort.

I am very fortunate not to have the addictive gene otherwise I would be with you guys who are bravely fighting this battle. Well done to all of you, and I admire you all for it as we come to the end of this terrible year.

[Kiwias]

I see than Anthony Hopkins is celebrating 45 years of sobriety. Congratulations to him for a great effort.

I am very fortunate not to have the addictive gene otherwise I would be with you guys who are bravely fighting this battle. Well done to all of you, and I admire you all for it as we come to the end of this terrible year.

Fangle,

Thanks for your kind words.

The head of my group for the prefecture is now 74 and he stopped at the age of 29, matching Hopkins for sobriety. I doubt I will ever get to that duration because I was 50 when I chose sobriety and honestly can't see myself making it to 94. But I do intend to get pretty damned close to it.

[Tichtheid]

I gave up smoking about fifteen years ago, but it is an entirely different kettle of ball games to say "I'm addicted to smoking" than to say "I'm an alcoholic", at least it appears that way to me.

I'd tried stopping smoking several times, but when I look back on what made me finally do it, it was that I was finally prepared to really do it - we had three children under the age of ten and I wanted to see their children - but that is something that is easily dismissed when the craving hits, when you sweat a little, when you get really grumpy and tell yourself that something you've seen, read or heard is a reason to go and have a cigarette and stop again tomorrow. Or you can tell yourself in all seriousness that you've stopped for three days now, you've proved you can do it, so a quick ciggie won't hurt. Or you're in company of friends who smoke and they offer you one, well, you haven't seen them for a while, one won't matter - the missus, kids, partner etc won't mind if they don't know about it.

You've just had a piece of good or bad news, you go to the thing that is so familiar - hand me the Rothmans. You can't really do x, y or z and not smoke, can you? It goes hand in hand with the time and place.
Something or someone at work is pissing you off, a fly smoke will sort it.
Birthdays, anniversaries, hatchings, matchings, dispatchings, whatever - you deserve a smoke, this has been a glorious/terrible day, it's your little treat.

All of those people nagging at you to stop, what they hell do they know? You only have a couple, it's not like you wake up in the middle of the night and must have a cigarette, at least not that often.

At the risk of sounding trite, the there was one thing that made me stop, well two. The first, as I said above, I finally wanted to, the second was something I read in Allen Carr's book. He described the craving as the manifestation of the monster that is inside of you, and it is killing you, it is determined to end you and it is persuading you to smoke.

I found that shocked me, but I also agreed with Carr that if you look at it this way it is actually enjoyable to quit. It's enjoyable because when the sweats come, you know what it is, same with the shakes - yes I got sweats and shakes from nicotine withdrawal. Each time that wave of nausea comes over you it is slightly weaker, you only have to ride out that first few moments, same with the shakes etc. Every time that monster comes at you it is weaker and weaker and you can watch it wither and die. You can defeat it with your own will, and you can enjoy it because you know you are winning. Eventually when it tries to rear up against you, you'll go "pffft" and carry on with your day, such is its weakness.

A few years ago I encountered anorexia in someone I love. I won't go into it because it still hurts, but I recognised so much of what drove that person to starve themselves to near death was very similar to how I thought about addiction works. Thankfully she had a period of lucidity and said she wanted things to change, five years later and she's since completed a BSc and a masters degree.

Now, here we are. I haven't been posting here very long, so this is essentially a public room full of strangers. What I've written up to this point is all true, but if I go back and read what I've written I can substitute drinking and alcohol in each sentence for smoking and nicotine.

As it turns out, I never really beat the monster, it just changed tack to suggesting the bottle instead.

So here I go again, as from the 1st.

The Craig Fergusson vid reminded me of this

[Slick]

Great post Tichtheid.

Good luck with it and definitely take advantage of this thread and folk like Kiwias, they are brilliant

[Yr Alban]

Good luck to everyone quitting the booze in 2021. I’m having another crack at Dry January. I know I drink more than I should, and I need to have a healthier relationship with alcohol. I’m on call tonight and would have to stay sober anyway, which helps.

[Paddington Bear]

Also going for Dry January. Need to make sure 2020 is the exception rather than the rule, or more drastic action may be needed in future.

[Kiwias]

As part of Biden’s inauguration, he and his wife and M/M Harris were at the Lincoln Pond the previous night to light up a memorial to the 400,000+ deaths due to covid19, with 400 8ft-tall lamps along the length of the pond.

He said “To heal, you must remember. It is hard sometimes to remember but that is how we heal”.

These words really hit home because that is what we do at our support group meetings: recall the worst shit we did when drunk in order to cleanse our souls and hearts so that those we hurt, in particular our loved ones, can see we are working hard to heal ourselves.

Thank you, President Biden,

[lilyw]

I passed 3 years dry last weekend. I've never felt better.

While I don't feel any urge at all to drink (I just feel completely uninterested in it) I got a sharp reminder on Tuesday morning of how quickly things can unravel. A friend of mine from rehab phoned me at 3.30 am having spectacularly fallen off the wagon. With lockdown restrictions here I haven't seen her in almost a year and I hadn't realised just how much the whole situation was getting to her. She just blew up in a big way: ranted at her teenage children, phoned her in-laws to abuse them, burned a lot of hard earned goodwill.

I managed to talk her down somewhat and got a local counsellor to talk to her, but it was a reminder of how tough some of our friends are finding it (in Ireland there haven't been any f2f meetings for over 9 months now).

[lilyw]

On another topic: My wife is watching The Flight Attendant on Sky.

The lead character (played by Kaley Cuoco from The Big Bang Theory) is an alcoholic, some of the very off-kilter camerawork is unsettlingly familiar.

[Kiwias]

I passed 3 years dry last weekend. I've never felt better.

While I don't feel any urge at all to drink (I just feel completely uninterested in it) I got a sharp reminder on Tuesday morning of how quickly things can unravel. A friend of mine from rehab phoned me at 3.30 am having spectacularly fallen off the wagon. With lockdown restrictions here I haven't seen her in almost a year and I hadn't realised just how much the whole situation was getting to her. She just blew up in a big way: ranted at her teenage children, phoned her in-laws to abuse them, burned a lot of hard earned goodwill.

I managed to talk her down somewhat and got a local counsellor to talk to her, but it was a reminder of how tough some of our friends are finding it (in Ireland there haven't been any f2f meetings for over 9 months now).

Three years is a significant achievement. Well done, mate. Well done also on being there to help your friend.

My group went for a couple of months with no meetings but started up with a larger room so more space between seats and masks compulsory. There has been a big increase in the number of inpatients at the local specialist hospital, mainly due to covid19 and lockdowns.

[Ymx]

As part of Biden’s inauguration, he and his wife and M/M Harris were at the Lincoln Pond the previous night to light up a memorial to the 400,000+ deaths due to covid19, with 400 8ft-tall lamps along the length of the pond.

He said “To heal, you must remember. It is hard sometimes to remember but that is how we heal”.

These words really hit home because that is what we do at our support group meetings: recall the worst shit we did when drunk in order to cleanse our souls and hearts so that those we hurt, in particular our loved ones, can see we are working hard to heal ourselves.

Thank you, President Biden,

Isn’t dragging up the past constantly un-necessarily flogging yourself.

I don’t understand why those who have binned booze feel the need to continue to put more precious life energy in to it.

[Kiwias]

As part of Biden’s inauguration, he and his wife and M/M Harris were at the Lincoln Pond the previous night to light up a memorial to the 400,000+ deaths due to covid19, with 400 8ft-tall lamps along the length of the pond.

He said “To heal, you must remember. It is hard sometimes to remember but that is how we heal”.

These words really hit home because that is what we do at our support group meetings: recall the worst shit we did when drunk in order to cleanse our souls and hearts so that those we hurt, in particular our loved ones, can see we are working hard to heal ourselves.

Thank you, President Biden,

Isn’t dragging up the past constantly un-necessarily flogging yourself.

I don’t understand why those who have binned booze feel the need to continue to put more precious life energy in to it.

I can't speak for everyone else in this group here but for me, a lot of the incidents in my past had been long forgotten or justified by my alcohol-based reasoning. The process and journey of recovery requires that I come to terms with what I had done and accepted then modified my thinking and mindset.

The concern I live with is knowing that if I had a drink, it would not take long before I was being picked up from a gutter again and this is something that I genuinely have no power to stop once I start drinking. Remembering the shit I did when boozing is a very efficient way to ensure I don't have that first drink.

For me, expending some energy in assuring I can carry on living a decent life is worth it.

[Ymx]

The process and journey of recovery requires that I come to terms with what I had done and accepted then modified my thinking and mindset.

I’d observe that you’ve come to terms and accepted what it did to you and your family, and your mindset.

Do you feel you will forget this?

Do you genuinely not consider yourself recovered?

I hope you don’t mind me asking these questions. For the record I’ve binned drinking after being dependent on it multiple times a day. 8 months dry so far. 1st week was horrible.

I just don’t see myself wanting it to be part of my mindset and haunt my living thoughts for the coming decades.

[Slick]

Different people have different ways of dealing with it I guess.

I find it odd you question it to be honest

“1st week was horrible” seems particularly unnecessary

[Ymx]

Different people have different ways of dealing with it I guess.

I find it odd you question it to be honest

“1st week was horrible” seems particularly unnecessary

I don’t get what you’re saying on the 1st week part?? Not saying the converse was true for the rest. Pretty sure kiwias will know what I mean about the physical side of it for the first 1-2 weeks.

[Kiwias]

The process and journey of recovery requires that I come to terms with what I had done and accepted then modified my thinking and mindset.

I’d observe that you’ve come to terms and accepted what it did to you and your family, and your mindset.

Do you feel you will forget this?

Do you genuinely not consider yourself recovered?

I hope you don’t mind me asking these questions. For the record I’ve binned drinking after being dependent on it multiple times a day. 8 months dry so far. 1st week was horrible.

I just don’t see myself wanting it to be part of my mindset and haunt my living thoughts for the coming decades.

Ymx

I do not mind your questions at all, mate. You are spot on in your observation that I have completely come to terms with what I did to myself and my family.

But I will never forget. Nor should I. I shudder at the horrific shit I did to them when drinking but it was not just the physical acts. Perhaps the worst was the fact that I forced them to live in fear all the time mentally, even when I was not pissed. I may not have mentioned it on here before but my son told me once relatively recently that my ex-wife and two sons had a nickname for me during the years I was drinking. Have a guess (I will put the nickname at the end of my post).

I don't dwell on these things as my wife and elder son have forgiven me. Families in our group have a saying, "we can forgive but we can't forget". They are not trying to rub our noses in the shit but that is an honest expression of the depth of the scars we inflicted on them.

I am a recovering alcoholic, meaning that I am an alcoholic and the threat is always there, lurking, regardless of how long I have been sober.

This is all not part of my daily mindset and it definitely does not haunt my living thoughts on any sort of regular basis. I guess that is the role of my support group --- it draws the poison in a manner of speaking and lets me get on with living my alcohol-free and decent life.

The nickname?

Spoiler

Show

The Time Bomb

.
Neat one, eh!

And good on you for making the decision to stop and good luck. You know where to come for advice if you need it.

[Kiwias]

Different people have different ways of dealing with it I guess.

I find it odd you question it to be honest

“1st week was horrible” seems particularly unnecessary

I don’t get what you’re saying on the 1st week part?? Not saying the converse was true for the rest. Pretty sure kiwias will know what I mean about the physical side of it for the first 1-2 weeks.

Ymx

Your post was fine but in my case, make it the first 1~2 years.

[Slick]

Different people have different ways of dealing with it I guess.

I find it odd you question it to be honest

“1st week was horrible” seems particularly unnecessary

I don’t get what you’re saying on the 1st week part?? Not saying the converse was true for the rest. Pretty sure kiwias will know what I mean about the physical side of it for the first 1-2 weeks.

YMX, sincere apologies, I obviously misunderstood, I thought you were saying 1st week was horrible the rest was a breeze so what are you moaning about.

I did think it was very, very out of character!

[Kiwias]

Different people have different ways of dealing with it I guess.

I find it odd you question it to be honest

“1st week was horrible” seems particularly unnecessary

I don’t get what you’re saying on the 1st week part?? Not saying the converse was true for the rest. Pretty sure kiwias will know what I mean about the physical side of it for the first 1-2 weeks.

YMX, sincere apologies, I obviously misunderstood, I thought you were saying 1st week was horrible the rest was a breeze so what are you moaning about.

I did think it was very, very out of character!

Slick

Classy response.

[Ymx]

Different people have different ways of dealing with it I guess.

I find it odd you question it to be honest

“1st week was horrible” seems particularly unnecessary

I don’t get what you’re saying on the 1st week part?? Not saying the converse was true for the rest. Pretty sure kiwias will know what I mean about the physical side of it for the first 1-2 weeks.

Ymx

Your post was fine but in my case, make it the first 1~2 years.

You had DTs for that long??

I should clarify. The reason I mentioned it was that I was not just a heavy drinker, who could just stop. It physically hit me hard.

[Kiwias]

I don’t get what you’re saying on the 1st week part?? Not saying the converse was true for the rest. Pretty sure kiwias will know what I mean about the physical side of it for the first 1-2 weeks.

Ymx

Your post was fine but in my case, make it the first 1~2 years.

You had DTs for that long??

I should clarify. The reason I mentioned it was that I was not just a heavy drinker, who could just stop. It physically hit me hard.

Not the DTs but some very strong urges to have a drink for the first couple of years. I'm still impressed that you could just stop. I could not do it on my own, despite having tried oh so many times.

[Ymx]

Sorry it wasn’t just a matter of giving up, if i painted it that way.

I had horrendous shakes sweats no sleep pacing. Worried about seizures.

And then yes the urges, triggers. Thinking about it constantly. Triggers like walking around the supermarket. Certain times of the day. Dreaming about doing it. I’ve had professional help for it and for anxiety.

Lockdown was what tipped me in to it so badly in to a spiral of anxiety and drink. Ease of access. And with planning how to get to/sneak my next drink assure supplies etc. But lockdown has also been a godsend to help me at the other end to manage it and to avoid situations so far.

Still to come is the social events...

But I guess I’m of the hope I can progress it in my mind to it not becoming something I need to torture myself over. And hoping to treat it instead like a life choice, because it was no good for me. Not feel the need for it to continue to consume me.

So perhaps that better describes where I’m coming from and my questions.

[Kiwias]

Sorry it wasn’t just a matter of giving up, if i painted it that way.

I had horrendous shakes sweats no sleep pacing. Worried about seizures.

And then yes the urges, triggers. Thinking about it constantly. Triggers like walking around the supermarket. Certain times of the day. Dreaming about doing it. I’ve had professional help for it and for anxiety.

Lockdown was what tipped me in to it so badly in to a spiral of anxiety and drink. Ease of access. And with planning how to get to/sneak my next drink assure supplies etc. But lockdown has also been a godsend to help me at the other end to manage it and to avoid situations so far.

Still to come is the social events...

But I guess I’m of the hope I can progress it in my mind to it not becoming something I need to torture myself over. And hoping to treat it instead like a life choice, because it was no good for me. Not feel the need for it to continue to consume me.

So perhaps that better describes where I’m coming from and my questions.

Ymx

The picture is much clearer now. You might want to have a look at AA -- don't worry, most groups are not fanatically religious. Meeting and listening to a diverse group of people all of whom have walked the same road for varying lengths of time can be a huge help. You will see that we all go through similar phases and face very similar challenges, and the combined experience and knowledge can be a big encouragement and boost when you are struggling.

With time, the concept of stopping definitely does become less of a burden, less of a consuming and torturous fear.

I would probably recommend avoiding social gatherings where booze will be available for a while. My group suggests three years. I personally found that coming out to my old rugby club mates was a godsend -- they were incredibly supportive and no-one ever offered me a drink "come on, mate, what harm can one drink do?" sort of stuff.

[Ymx]

Tbh, I’m happy with seeing someone directly for it rather than the AA club style approach. She’s been really helpful with understanding it from a nearly scientific point of view. And coupled with various mind techniques of seeing through urges.

I don’t feel tempted at all right now. Not even jealous of those doing it. Nor resentment.

I’m actually looking forward to a round of golf and lunch with my former drinking buddies. They won’t do any pressure and are all aware I’m off it. I’m sure there might be the odd question on it. Is it forever, etc? But I’m comfortable with handling that. But more than anything, I’m just really looking forward to a round of golf couple with good food, chat and banter.

[Kiwias]

Tbh, I’m happy with seeing someone directly for it rather than the AA club style approach. She’s been really helpful with understanding it from a nearly scientific point of view. And coupled with various mind techniques of seeing through urges.

I don’t feel tempted at all right now. Not even jealous of those doing it. Nor resentment.

I’m actually looking forward to a round of golf and lunch with my former drinking buddies. They won’t do any pressure and are all aware I’m off it. I’m sure there might be the odd question on it. Is it forever, etc? But I’m comfortable with handling that. But more than anything, I’m just really looking forward to a round of golf couple with good food, chat and banter.

It sounds as if you have someone really good to help you through the tough times. I like the sound of the golf with your buddies. Cheers.

[Harveys]

As part of Biden’s inauguration, he and his wife and M/M Harris were at the Lincoln Pond the previous night to light up a memorial to the 400,000+ deaths due to covid19, with 400 8ft-tall lamps along the length of the pond.

He said “To heal, you must remember. It is hard sometimes to remember but that is how we heal”.

These words really hit home because that is what we do at our support group meetings: recall the worst shit we did when drunk in order to cleanse our souls and hearts so that those we hurt, in particular our loved ones, can see we are working hard to heal ourselves.

Thank you, President Biden,

Isn’t dragging up the past constantly un-necessarily flogging yourself.

I don’t understand why those who have binned booze feel the need to continue to put more precious life energy in to it.

The fellowship I attend suggests having a good look at the past and has a useful tool to help me look at it from a different angle and to start taking responsibility for my actions and behaviour. I then went out and attempted to make amends where I caused harm. I’m very much at peace with my past now and only bring it up as a useful tool in helping other people with the same troubles.
I let go of guilt and shame a long time ago.

[Kiwias]

As part of Biden’s inauguration, he and his wife and M/M Harris were at the Lincoln Pond the previous night to light up a memorial to the 400,000+ deaths due to covid19, with 400 8ft-tall lamps along the length of the pond.

He said “To heal, you must remember. It is hard sometimes to remember but that is how we heal”.

These words really hit home because that is what we do at our support group meetings: recall the worst shit we did when drunk in order to cleanse our souls and hearts so that those we hurt, in particular our loved ones, can see we are working hard to heal ourselves.

Thank you, President Biden,

Isn’t dragging up the past constantly un-necessarily flogging yourself.

I don’t understand why those who have binned booze feel the need to continue to put more precious life energy in to it.

The fellowship I attend suggests having a good look at the past and has a useful tool to help me look at it from a different angle and to start taking responsibility for my actions and behaviour. I then went out and attempted to make amends where I caused harm. I’m very much at peace with my past now and only bring it up as a useful tool in helping other people with the same troubles.
I let go of guilt and shame a long time ago.

Harvey

Good post, mate. I am in a similar place, past the guilt and shame in terms of letting them dominate my thinking but aware of what I did and, more importantly, why I acted that way (other than because I was pissed ).

Life is too good when sober and in control of myself.