Quitting the bottle

[Slick]

In a similar place myself again. I had pretty much 5 months off it and absolutely loved it. After the first 5/6 days I really didn't think about it much any more - I'd wake up in the morning and my first thought was "I'm not drinking" and that would be it. I'd even nearly, but not quite, got into the mindset of not drinking again. Not quite.

Then a big event came up and the booze addled brain started it's tricks, "I'm confident enough now to have one night on it then get back to not drinking". That was Calcutta Cup weekend and here we are. I haven't been consistently drinking through this period but there have been more and more "special occasions" and then the last 2 weeks have been pretty much every night - like you, not massively excessive amounts but enough to be back in that place where I know I'm not being the best dad I can be, know I'm not working as hard as I should and not doing any exercise.

Anyway, I've got an event tonight and one on Saturday and then I'm off it again. However, there is an extended family holiday in July to France and that's already in my mind. Thing is I know it won't make it any more enjoyable, and I know I'll deeply regret not making better use of the time with the kids and family, but it's there.

Talking of withdrawal, that really shocked and surprised me. I don't think I was even in the top 70% of drinkers amongst my friends and peers but things like itchy skin, not sleeping well, being constantly drained went on for a while, especially the tiredness. It eventually became a great motivator as I was stunned than this drug, which is a massive part of society, is actually doing a horrendous amount of damage to my body.

The frustration is obviously that I know how much better my life is without it but I keep being dragged back, but I now know thats what I'm dealing with.

It is such an easy trap to fall in, isn't it?

Are you planning to be off booze for the family holiday in France?

Yes, it's a trap I've fallen into twice. No excuses now, I know what will happen.

re France, that's the big question. I sway from no, this is it, to well that can be the last hurrah. Whist I'm pretty sure not drinking won't bother me, it's the first time we have all been together for 3 years and booze has always been a part of our get togethers - particularly as it has already been decided that my wife (a wine expert) is getting a kitty to get some good French wines when we arrive.

Being 100% honest, I haven't decided yet.

[Slick]

Talking of withdrawal, that really shocked and surprised me. I don't think I was even in the top 70% of drinkers amongst my friends and peers but things like itchy skin, not sleeping well, being constantly drained went on for a while, especially the tiredness. It eventually became a great motivator as I was stunned than this drug, which is a massive part of society, is actually doing a horrendous amount of damage to my body.

This is very much a huge factor for me.

What I didn’t realise is that whilst I was heavy drinking,
I was suffering withdrawal symptoms which I hadn’t realised were withdrawals
- knot in my stomach
- anxiety
- itchy skin
Along with the more obvious ones
- tetchy especially when I couldn’t figure out how to get in my first drink
- blood pressure
- shaky hands
- not being able to sleep if a very rare non drinking night happens

I was not coping, and I hated the start of every single day until I was able to shake out the horrible withdrawals by by having a couple of drinks to purge the pains.

It took many years for it to slip to being so bad, but when I was there it was hard and horrible.

I now know I am a lot happier for it. Waking up without withdrawals, being able to sleep without booze, and being able to be there for my daughter is priceless.

On the mindset :
I now have no craving, can take it or leave it.
So, I can have an evening. And even afterwards you feel, that wasn’t enjoyable, so don’t even want to.
And then this followed by it slipping slowly back in

Don’t beat yourself up. I’m pretty sure that’s just part of the learning process of it all.

You now are armed with more tools for the next time, with this experience under your belt.

Thanks mate, excellent post

[Slick]

Great thread all, very proud of you all, this thread alone makes the effort in building and maintaining this place completely worthwhile.

Changed this to a sticky topic so it stays at the top where it belongs, and can be easily found by those who might need it.

Thanks ASMO, and really appreciate the sentiment. If I'm honest though, I'm not sure I'm keen to have it as a sticky. Of course more than happy to go with the flow, just my opinion.

[ASMO]

Great thread all, very proud of you all, this thread alone makes the effort in building and maintaining this place completely worthwhile.

Changed this to a sticky topic so it stays at the top where it belongs, and can be easily found by those who might need it.

Thanks ASMO, and really appreciate the sentiment. If I'm honest though, I'm not sure I'm keen to have it as a sticky. Of course more than happy to go with the flow, just my opinion.

If the general view is not to do that i am happy to remove it as one.

[Slick]

Great thread all, very proud of you all, this thread alone makes the effort in building and maintaining this place completely worthwhile.

Changed this to a sticky topic so it stays at the top where it belongs, and can be easily found by those who might need it.

Thanks ASMO, and really appreciate the sentiment. If I'm honest though, I'm not sure I'm keen to have it as a sticky. Of course more than happy to go with the flow, just my opinion.

If the general view is not to do that i am happy to remove it as one.

Yup, completely agree, it's not a biggie at all

[Tichtheid]

Keep it as a sticky is my vote.

There's nothing to be ashamed of in here and the more people, men, talk about this sort of thing the better

[Kiwias]

In a similar place myself again. I had pretty much 5 months off it and absolutely loved it. After the first 5/6 days I really didn't think about it much any more - I'd wake up in the morning and my first thought was "I'm not drinking" and that would be it. I'd even nearly, but not quite, got into the mindset of not drinking again. Not quite.

Then a big event came up and the booze addled brain started it's tricks, "I'm confident enough now to have one night on it then get back to not drinking". That was Calcutta Cup weekend and here we are. I haven't been consistently drinking through this period but there have been more and more "special occasions" and then the last 2 weeks have been pretty much every night - like you, not massively excessive amounts but enough to be back in that place where I know I'm not being the best dad I can be, know I'm not working as hard as I should and not doing any exercise.

Anyway, I've got an event tonight and one on Saturday and then I'm off it again. However, there is an extended family holiday in July to France and that's already in my mind. Thing is I know it won't make it any more enjoyable, and I know I'll deeply regret not making better use of the time with the kids and family, but it's there.

Talking of withdrawal, that really shocked and surprised me. I don't think I was even in the top 70% of drinkers amongst my friends and peers but things like itchy skin, not sleeping well, being constantly drained went on for a while, especially the tiredness. It eventually became a great motivator as I was stunned than this drug, which is a massive part of society, is actually doing a horrendous amount of damage to my body.

The frustration is obviously that I know how much better my life is without it but I keep being dragged back, but I now know thats what I'm dealing with.

It is such an easy trap to fall in, isn't it?

Are you planning to be off booze for the family holiday in France?

Yes, it's a trap I've fallen into twice. No excuses now, I know what will happen.

re France, that's the big question. I sway from no, this is it, to well that can be the last hurrah. Whist I'm pretty sure not drinking won't bother me, it's the first time we have all been together for 3 years and booze has always been a part of our get togethers - particularly as it has already been decided that my wife (a wine expert) is getting a kitty to get some good French wines when we arrive.

Being 100% honest, I haven't decided yet.

If not drinking won't bother you, then coming out on this holiday would be a very clear statement of your determination to live a sober life. This would actually help to remove future temptation when you are with family and friends.

[Kiwias]

Great thread all, very proud of you all, this thread alone makes the effort in building and maintaining this place completely worthwhile.

Changed this to a sticky topic so it stays at the top where it belongs, and can be easily found by those who might need it.

I appreciate your comments, ASMO, and am happy to abide by your decision on making this thread a sticky.

[Tichtheid]

The Last Hurrah is something I'm very familiar with, it started with life events/1st of January/ Calcutta Cups/Big Games and soon became the last weekend of the month and then on to Saturday nights, then pretty much every time I didn't have to drive the next morning.

I have a family gathering on Saturday and we're taking the train to it. I don't really have a long term plan at the moment, but I won't drink today and I won't drink on Saturday. I never really liked day time drinking anyway, not since my late teens and 20s when sitting around a large pub table with a group of friends was the perfect way to spend an afternoon.

I think I've been chasing that feeling for quite a few years now, chasing the party.

The number of times I'm writing "I" here is not meant to be self-indulgent, apologies if it comes across that way. If it rings a bell with someone then that's why I'm doing it.

[ASMO]

I have what is probably a stupid question, where do things like non alcoholic wine/beer come into all this? Reason i ask is that my FIL recently had a fairly significant health issue, bearing in mind he has been drinking every day since he was 12 years old (he is Czech by the way). Hospital told him he needs to stop drinking, he has switched to non alcoholic beer and seems to be ok with that.

[Slick]

I have what is probably a stupid question, where do things like non alcoholic wine/beer come into all this? Reason i ask is that my FIL recently had a fairly significant health issue, bearing in mind he has been drinking every day since he was 12 years old (he is Czech by the way). Hospital told him he needs to stop drinking, he has switched to non alcoholic beer and seems to be ok with that.

Very much a personal choice. When I stopped for a few months I loved exploring AF beers and it really helped. There are some absolutely cracking AF only breweries around now, a million miles away from Barbican!

I say all this aware that I’m drinking again, but I will definitely go back to them. I find them particularly helpful when with folk who are drinking

[Ymx]

I was told that AF can act as a conduit back in to drinking. So I have mostly avoided it.

Having said that, if I find myself going to pub watching rugby. I will have an AF beer. But my rule is 0.0% not 0.5%

Peroni 0
Estrella 0
Guinness 0
Old mout cider 0

Are ones I thought were ok.

But I never have them at home. Just when out in social occasions with bunch of lads (once a month).


In terms of thread sticky. I don’t mind either. Although I can’t currently tell if there is a new post if it’s sticky.

[Ymx]

The Last Hurrah is something I'm very familiar with, it started with life events/1st of January/ Calcutta Cups/Big Games and soon became the last weekend of the month and then on to Saturday nights, then pretty much every time I didn't have to drive the next morning.

I have a family gathering on Saturday and we're taking the train to it. I don't really have a long term plan at the moment, but I won't drink today and I won't drink on Saturday. I never really liked day time drinking anyway, not since my late teens and 20s when sitting around a large pub table with a group of friends was the perfect way to spend an afternoon.

I think I've been chasing that feeling for quite a few years now, chasing the party.

The number of times I'm writing "I" here is not meant to be self-indulgent, apologies if it comes across that way. If it rings a bell with someone then that's why I'm doing it.

I think it’s probably the whole purpose of the thread to talk about yourself and experiences. So I think you are most welcome and encouraged to churn out the “I”’s. It’s nice to hear of others experiences.

On your thoughts about drinking “I don’t really have a long term plan”. And fair enough, don’t force yourself to even think about that now. Just perhaps plan to the next step. A Week, then perhaps a month, if it feels good keep extending it - your choice - always your choice.

If you like your new life, extra cash, motivation, then it might become a no brainer. But hey, I’m no expert, I’m a learner here, just expressing my thoughts.

I prefer viewing what I’m doing as a lifestyle choice. Not about hiding from demons.

[Kiwias]

The Last Hurrah is something I'm very familiar with, it started with life events/1st of January/ Calcutta Cups/Big Games and soon became the last weekend of the month and then on to Saturday nights, then pretty much every time I didn't have to drive the next morning.

I have a family gathering on Saturday and we're taking the train to it. I don't really have a long term plan at the moment, but I won't drink today and I won't drink on Saturday. I never really liked day time drinking anyway, not since my late teens and 20s when sitting around a large pub table with a group of friends was the perfect way to spend an afternoon.

I think I've been chasing that feeling for quite a few years now, chasing the party.

The number of times I'm writing "I" here is not meant to be self-indulgent, apologies if it comes across that way. If it rings a bell with someone then that's why I'm doing it.

Everyone that posts here is talking about themselves and that is as it should be. Sharing experiences is how we move through the process of recovery so your use of "I" does not come even remotely close to being self-indulgent.

One of the older members of my group, who has been sober for over 50 years now, explained his thinking in this way: "I am not giving up anything. I am merely deciding to live a more decent life and eliminating things that get in the way of doing that."

It is a very positive step. For me, I know that I like the sober me far far more than I liked the drunk me.

[Torquemada 1420]

Yes, it's a trap I've fallen into twice. No excuses now, I know what will happen.

re France, that's the big question. I sway from no, this is it, to well that can be the last hurrah. Whist I'm pretty sure not drinking won't bother me, it's the first time we have all been together for 3 years and booze has always been a part of our get togethers - particularly as it has already been decided that my wife (a wine expert) is getting a kitty to get some good French wines when we arrive.

Being 100% honest, I haven't decided yet.

Don't worry about this. French wine is so expensive now that you'll struggle to get drunk even if you set out with that intent.

General question: do we feel that rugby drinking culture is worse than football?

[Ymx]

I can’t speak for soccer.

But thinking about it. When I was playing rugby at uni aged 18-22, drinking was almost a spiritual ritual of rugby. Heavily involved in initiations, part of the after game experience.

In later life it’s a huge part of the event of watching rugby. Down at the pub with your mates for an early start before the game.

I don’t really know what soccer is like, I guess similar, perhaps less, but with people more prone to turn alcohol use in to extreme anti social behaviour.

[Kiwias]

I have what is probably a stupid question, where do things like non alcoholic wine/beer come into all this? Reason i ask is that my FIL recently had a fairly significant health issue, bearing in mind he has been drinking every day since he was 12 years old (he is Czech by the way). Hospital told him he needs to stop drinking, he has switched to non alcoholic beer and seems to be ok with that.

A number of the members of my support group have suffered major relapses after starting to drink alcohol-free beer/wine. To hear them speak, it seems that after a while of drinking just this, it triggered a feeling deep inside that they could handle some alcohol, you know, just the single drink.

I have never been tempted even to try any, being totally happy with where I am right now and not wishing to expose myself to even the remotest risk of a relapse.

[Kiwias]

I can’t speak for soccer.

But thinking about it. When I was playing rugby, drinking was almost a spiritual ritual of rugby. Heavily involved in initiations, part of the after game experience.

In later life it’s a huge part of the event of watching rugby. Down at the pub with your mates for an early start before the game.

I don’t really know what soccer is like, I guess similar, perhaps less, but with people more prone to turn alcohol use in to extreme anti social behaviour.

Yes, to both of those,

[Tichtheid]

I can’t speak for soccer.

But thinking about it. When I was playing rugby, drinking was almost a spiritual ritual of rugby. Heavily involved in initiations, part of the after game experience.

In later life it’s a huge part of the event of watching rugby. Down at the pub with your mates for an early start before the game.

I don’t really know what soccer is like, I guess similar, perhaps less, but with people more prone to turn alcohol use in to extreme anti social behaviour.

Yes, to both of those,

Aye, rugby is particularly involved with boozing, remember Jonno's remark when asked about some England players getting pissed up at the World Cup, he said something along the lines of "Rugby players drink beer shocker". We all acknowledged that it is part of the game.

When I played you'd get "fined" for scoring a hat trick of tries*, the fine was to buy the team a jug of beer, the jug contained about 8 pints and two jugs were placed on each team table after a game anyway, that was just the start of the evening.
New players to the team had to down a yard of ale.

Then there's the drinking games

*I never had to pay that particular fine

[Slick]

I can’t speak for soccer.

But thinking about it. When I was playing rugby at uni aged 18-22, drinking was almost a spiritual ritual of rugby. Heavily involved in initiations, part of the after game experience.

In later life it’s a huge part of the event of watching rugby. Down at the pub with your mates for an early start before the game.

I don’t really know what soccer is like, I guess similar, perhaps less, but with people more prone to turn alcohol use in to extreme anti social behaviour.

Yeah, back in the day it was almost impossible to be part of a rugby team/club without drinking pretty heavily. I know we were pretty actively encouraged by parents to be having pints from the age of about 15 after games etc.

I was speaking with a mate a while back about our group of friends and the drinking culture and something he said sticks with me - “we have always drunk to get drunk, right from a young age and that has stuck with us, it has never been about enjoying a pint, it’s always been about getting pissed as a group”

[Kiwias]

I can’t speak for soccer.

But thinking about it. When I was playing rugby at uni aged 18-22, drinking was almost a spiritual ritual of rugby. Heavily involved in initiations, part of the after game experience.

In later life it’s a huge part of the event of watching rugby. Down at the pub with your mates for an early start before the game.

I don’t really know what soccer is like, I guess similar, perhaps less, but with people more prone to turn alcohol use in to extreme anti social behaviour.

Yeah, back in the day it was almost impossible to be part of a rugby team/club without drinking pretty heavily. I know we were pretty actively encouraged by parents to be having pints from the age of about 15 after games etc.

I was speaking with a mate a while back about our group of friends and the drinking culture and something he said sticks with me - “we have always drunk to get drunk, right from a young age and that has stuck with us, it has never been about enjoying a pint, it’s always been about getting pissed as a group”

I used to like to tell myself I was a discerning drinker, carefully choosing my ales and wines, but the truth was that I was drinking to get drunk and had always done that even when I was much younger.

[Paddington Bear]

Yes, it's a trap I've fallen into twice. No excuses now, I know what will happen.

re France, that's the big question. I sway from no, this is it, to well that can be the last hurrah. Whist I'm pretty sure not drinking won't bother me, it's the first time we have all been together for 3 years and booze has always been a part of our get togethers - particularly as it has already been decided that my wife (a wine expert) is getting a kitty to get some good French wines when we arrive.

Being 100% honest, I haven't decided yet.

Don't worry about this. French wine is so expensive now that you'll struggle to get drunk even if you set out with that intent.

General question: do we feel that rugby drinking culture is worse than football?

Playing - yes Spectating - no. Don't think there's anything per se wrong with drinking games etc, unless it starts to impact on selection. Plus if you've ever seen a non-drinker attempt to do a yard of diet coke that is much, much funnier than a yard of ale.

[ASMO]

Yes, it's a trap I've fallen into twice. No excuses now, I know what will happen.

re France, that's the big question. I sway from no, this is it, to well that can be the last hurrah. Whist I'm pretty sure not drinking won't bother me, it's the first time we have all been together for 3 years and booze has always been a part of our get togethers - particularly as it has already been decided that my wife (a wine expert) is getting a kitty to get some good French wines when we arrive.

Being 100% honest, I haven't decided yet.

Don't worry about this. French wine is so expensive now that you'll struggle to get drunk even if you set out with that intent.

General question: do we feel that rugby drinking culture is worse than football?

Playing - yes Spectating - no. Don't think there's anything per se wrong with drinking games etc, unless it starts to impact on selection. Plus if you've ever seen a non-drinker attempt to do a yard of diet coke that is much, much funnier than a yard of ale.

I have done a yard of Stella and a Pint of Port (not on the same occasion)...never ever ever again...especially the pint of port...i was young, and stupider in those days.

[terangi48]

Beer drinking was a huge part of the rugby culture in my early 20's...got through it...changed when got I married, and eased off, mainly because I was on a budget....and the clock in an agreement with the 2nd half. Had about 10years away from the game playing doing kids sport, then did golden oldies for 5 years. That era was still getting into it, but have to say with a bit more responsibility...one amusing thing with the oldies was the shout when your turn.....a ten litre watering can + serving your team mates until empty....then hand it on to the next team member....now a one stubbie Tuesday and Friday imbiber.....

[Jimmy Smallsteps]

Drinking and rugby in the provinces go hand in hand. Even as an older player in my mid-20s playing Senior B in Ashburton, the player of the day had a tankard locked to his wrist with all sorts of shit poured into it during the course of the evening. You would start out at the clubrooms and then head into town in your shirt and tie, invariably staying out to the wee small hours.

I remember reading in the paper how business owners were upset about piss and vomit in the streets downtown on a Monday morning. I thought to myself, well at least I didn't piss in the street...

[I like neeps]

I would like to cut down on drinking. Does anyone have suggestions about how to continue social activities with friends that aren't the pub?

[Kiwias]

I would like to cut down on drinking. Does anyone have suggestions about how to continue social activities with friends that aren't the pub?

It can be hard to mingle socially with friends who are used to you being one of them in terms of drinking alcohol because old habits make it difficult either cut down your intake or to stop it entirely (I am not sure what your ultimate goal is here).

Any outdoor activity should help you cut down, as long as it does not lead to a visit to a pub for a quick one afterwards, which I fear is often the case. It may help if you let your friends know you are trying to cut down, perhaps telling them it is on doctor's advice if that makes it easier.

[I like neeps]

I would like to cut down on drinking. Does anyone have suggestions about how to continue social activities with friends that aren't the pub?

It can be hard to mingle socially with friends who are used to you being one of them in terms of drinking alcohol because old habits make it difficult either cut down your intake or to stop it entirely (I am not sure what your ultimate goal is here).

Any outdoor activity should help you cut down, as long as it does not lead to a visit to a pub for a quick one afterwards, which I fear is often the case. It may help if you let your friends know you are trying to cut down, perhaps telling them it is on doctor's advice if that makes it easier.

Don't want to give up completely but my mood has been low, I've lacked energy, gained weight and all that started when I started drinking more (Thursday - Sunday) and it's the rounds with friends at the pub that's the main driver of that drinking.

[Kiwias]

I would like to cut down on drinking. Does anyone have suggestions about how to continue social activities with friends that aren't the pub?

It can be hard to mingle socially with friends who are used to you being one of them in terms of drinking alcohol because old habits make it difficult either cut down your intake or to stop it entirely (I am not sure what your ultimate goal is here).

Any outdoor activity should help you cut down, as long as it does not lead to a visit to a pub for a quick one afterwards, which I fear is often the case. It may help if you let your friends know you are trying to cut down, perhaps telling them it is on doctor's advice if that makes it easier.

Don't want to give up completely but my mood has been low, I've lacked energy, gained weight and all that started when I started drinking more (Thursday - Sunday) and it's the rounds with friends at the pub that's the main driver of that drinking.

Is it feasible for you to have a couple of pints then just switch to tonic water or something like that when at the pub with your mates?

[Paddington Bear]

It can be hard to mingle socially with friends who are used to you being one of them in terms of drinking alcohol because old habits make it difficult either cut down your intake or to stop it entirely (I am not sure what your ultimate goal is here).

Any outdoor activity should help you cut down, as long as it does not lead to a visit to a pub for a quick one afterwards, which I fear is often the case. It may help if you let your friends know you are trying to cut down, perhaps telling them it is on doctor's advice if that makes it easier.

Don't want to give up completely but my mood has been low, I've lacked energy, gained weight and all that started when I started drinking more (Thursday - Sunday) and it's the rounds with friends at the pub that's the main driver of that drinking.

Is it feasible for you to have a couple of pints then just switch to tonic water or something like that when at the pub with your mates?

Got a mate who does this. He hides it by declaring himself really into visiting all the village pubs round us and offering to drive us all there. So after 1/2 he pretty much has to stop.

[I like neeps]

It can be hard to mingle socially with friends who are used to you being one of them in terms of drinking alcohol because old habits make it difficult either cut down your intake or to stop it entirely (I am not sure what your ultimate goal is here).

Any outdoor activity should help you cut down, as long as it does not lead to a visit to a pub for a quick one afterwards, which I fear is often the case. It may help if you let your friends know you are trying to cut down, perhaps telling them it is on doctor's advice if that makes it easier.

Don't want to give up completely but my mood has been low, I've lacked energy, gained weight and all that started when I started drinking more (Thursday - Sunday) and it's the rounds with friends at the pub that's the main driver of that drinking.

Is it feasible for you to have a couple of pints then just switch to tonic water or something like that when at the pub with your mates?

Find it too hard not to go round for round and the peer pressure. I just don't want my social group to be based on alcohol.

[Kiwias]

Don't want to give up completely but my mood has been low, I've lacked energy, gained weight and all that started when I started drinking more (Thursday - Sunday) and it's the rounds with friends at the pub that's the main driver of that drinking.

Is it feasible for you to have a couple of pints then just switch to tonic water or something like that when at the pub with your mates?

Got a mate who does this. He hides it by declaring himself really into visiting all the village pubs round us and offering to drive us all there. So after 1/2 he pretty much has to stop.

I bet all the others are chuffed to have a designated driver every time they go out.

[Kiwias]

Don't want to give up completely but my mood has been low, I've lacked energy, gained weight and all that started when I started drinking more (Thursday - Sunday) and it's the rounds with friends at the pub that's the main driver of that drinking.

Is it feasible for you to have a couple of pints then just switch to tonic water or something like that when at the pub with your mates?

Find it too hard not to go round for round and the peer pressure. I just don't want my social group to be based on alcohol.

Maybe you can look into some other activity you enjoy — birdwatching?

[Paddington Bear]

Is it feasible for you to have a couple of pints then just switch to tonic water or something like that when at the pub with your mates?

Got a mate who does this. He hides it by declaring himself really into visiting all the village pubs round us and offering to drive us all there. So after 1/2 he pretty much has to stop.

I bet all the others are chuffed to have a designated driver every time they go out.

Exactly - works for everyone

[Tichtheid]

I found that by starting out saying, “I’ll have a pint in a bit but a lime and soda will do for now,” , after a couple no on really notices and you can keep off it

[Kiwias]

I found that by starting out saying, “I’ll have a pint in a bit but a lime and soda will do for now,” , after a couple no on really notices and you can keep off it

A good plan. In my case, all my friends know I don't drink so there is never an issue. As you say, no-one really gives a shit what anyone else is drinking,

[Slick]

I found that by starting out saying, “I’ll have a pint in a bit but a lime and soda will do for now,” , after a couple no on really notices and you can keep off it

A good plan. In my case, all my friends know I don't drink so there is never an issue. As you say, no-one really gives a shit what anyone else is drinking,

Yes, this is my experience and my advice. After the first bit of banter that your not drinking no one gives a shit.

[Kiwias]

I found that by starting out saying, “I’ll have a pint in a bit but a lime and soda will do for now,” , after a couple no on really notices and you can keep off it

A good plan. In my case, all my friends know I don't drink so there is never an issue. As you say, no-one really gives a shit what anyone else is drinking,

Yes, this is my experience and my advice. After the first bit of banter that your not drinking no one gives a shit.

The initial post seemed to suggest that he feels he will not feel comfortable not drinking when out with his mates, perhaps based on a fear he will not fit in, but again my experience is that you can have just as much fun out with a mob all drinking even if you are not imbibing.

[Slick]

A good plan. In my case, all my friends know I don't drink so there is never an issue. As you say, no-one really gives a shit what anyone else is drinking,

Yes, this is my experience and my advice. After the first bit of banter that your not drinking no one gives a shit.

The initial post seemed to suggest that he feels he will not feel comfortable not drinking when out with his mates, perhaps based on a fear he will not fit in, but again my experience is that you can have just as much fun out with a mob all drinking even if you are not imbibing.

Agree, but the best bit of advice I read was making sure you have a “trapdoor” to get away when it inevitably becomes too much

[Kiwias]

Yes, this is my experience and my advice. After the first bit of banter that your not drinking no one gives a shit.

The initial post seemed to suggest that he feels he will not feel comfortable not drinking when out with his mates, perhaps based on a fear he will not fit in, but again my experience is that you can have just as much fun out with a mob all drinking even if you are not imbibing.

Agree, but the best bit of advice I read was making sure you have a “trapdoor” to get away when it inevitably becomes too much

That is excellent advice.