Quitting the bottle

Where goats go to escape
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Ymx
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Slick wrote: Sun Oct 09, 2022 10:39 am
Ymx wrote: Sun Oct 09, 2022 7:45 am But with a shower you can only really do one side. It’s not like in the water where you get attacked by the cold from your whole body at once.

I find myself spinning around in the shower trying to get a cold all over sensation.

I’m really keen to try this cold dipping.

I used to do swimming in one of the lakes, but with a wetsuit on. This is a very different proposition
As I’ve said, I massively recommend it from a getting off the booze and mental health perspective, plus I’ve lost a fair bit of weight since I’ve started - not sure how directly linked it is.

This morning was chilly with a long walk out and back due to tide, but was in for just under 20 mins and feel great
This was a recent dip:

Image

Blimey, that’s quite a lot of budgie smugglers in your group there Slick !
Slick
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The budgies are actually quite a big part of it- lots of guys with body issues and squeezing into a pair of them is kind of part of the process/ethos of the group.

Mine are on order! Not that I’ve even had the body issue apart from it getting a bit larger recently
All the money you made will never buy back your soul
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MungoMan
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Slick wrote: Sun Oct 09, 2022 8:45 pm The budgies are actually quite a big part of it- lots of guys with body issues and squeezing into a pair of them is kind of part of the process/ethos of the group.

Mine are on order! Not that I’ve even had the body issue apart from it getting a bit larger recently
Very manly group of chaps.

I muchly approve.
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Tichtheid
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Slick wrote: Sun Oct 09, 2022 5:43 pm
Canes4Eva wrote: Sun Oct 09, 2022 5:33 pm I found this article quite inspiring

https://www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/a- ... NFdPzixsgs
It got there eventually! But yes, loved those last couple of paragraphs.

I thank whoever it was that blocked my transfer to a journalism course at uni all those years ago. I’m pretty sure I’d be dead from alcohol and drugs by now if I had gone into that career

My uncle was a journalist.

He died in his 60s due to alcohol.
Monkey Magic
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In the same vein as the Paddy Gower story, the between two beers podcast did a show with Chris Rattue, he of Welsh village idiot fame. They go into a fair bit Rattues struggles with alcohol .

Despite the name one of the hosts frequently talks about his own struggles with booze
Canes4Eva
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heading into week 9 now, debating whether I go to our monthly work team "Thirsty Thursday" gathering at the local....I think I will and can always invoke Sober October if needed
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Kiwias
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Canes4Eva wrote: Mon Oct 17, 2022 10:13 pm heading into week 9 now, debating whether I go to our monthly work team "Thirsty Thursday" gathering at the local....I think I will and can always invoke Sober October if needed
Sober October is a pretty solid escape plan. Good luck.
Canes4Eva
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Kiwias wrote: Tue Oct 18, 2022 6:19 am
Canes4Eva wrote: Mon Oct 17, 2022 10:13 pm heading into week 9 now, debating whether I go to our monthly work team "Thirsty Thursday" gathering at the local....I think I will and can always invoke Sober October if needed
Sober October is a pretty solid escape plan. Good luck.
thanks Kiwias. The siren call has been rather strong lately. Simply ticking off the days helps.
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Kiwias
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Canes4Eva wrote: Wed Oct 19, 2022 5:13 pm
Kiwias wrote: Tue Oct 18, 2022 6:19 am
Canes4Eva wrote: Mon Oct 17, 2022 10:13 pm heading into week 9 now, debating whether I go to our monthly work team "Thirsty Thursday" gathering at the local....I think I will and can always invoke Sober October if needed
Sober October is a pretty solid escape plan. Good luck.
thanks Kiwias. The siren call has been rather strong lately. Simply ticking off the days helps.
There is a reason we recovering alcoholics say "One day at a time". I still subconsciously do two things each day: on waking up, my subconscious mind reminds me not to drink today and then as I go to bed, I mentally pat myself on the back saying "you did not drink today, well done".
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Ymx
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Really?? I barely think about drinking any more. And it’s been just over 2 years.

Only if there is a night out, knowing I will be exposed to others partaking. Or this thread, of course.
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Kiwias
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Ymx wrote: Fri Oct 21, 2022 2:12 pm Really?? I barely think about drinking any more. And it’s been just over 2 years.

Only if there is a night out, knowing I will be exposed to others partaking. Or this thread, of course.
It is not a conscious effort, just that I am aware of that thought lingering in my subconscious.
Harveys
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I haven’t had the slightest notion of wanting a drink let alone serious thinking about drinking in well over a decade, that doesn’t mean I don’t think about my recovery and engage in the little actions on a mostly daily basis. I do this largely because the people who are further along the road than I am seem to continue to do it and the people who I’ve seen drink again after 2-5-10-20 years all invariably stopped doing it, I can only assume because they thought they were cured or something of the sort.

Saying that I do acknowledge not everyone who has trouble with drink and stops will need to do that, this thread casts a wide net which is a good thing.
Harveys
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Actually…… To carry on that thought. Not thinking about drinking while a great place to be is by no means the final destination.

At the end of my drinking, I was a chronic, habitual drinker who drank to black out daily. However, long before I arrived at that point alcohol was an amazing tool that had the ability to instantaneously change my perception and the way I felt, and this is the key to managing long term sustained sobriety for an alcoholic like myself. Because while I have rarely if ever thought about drinking, there have been countless times I have really wanted to change the way I felt. This is why the little actions are so important regardless of how well I think I am traveling.
Monkey Magic
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Harveys wrote: Mon Oct 24, 2022 3:22 am Actually…… To carry on that thought. Not thinking about drinking while a great place to be is by no means the final destination.

At the end of my drinking, I was a chronic, habitual drinker who drank to black out daily. However, long before I arrived at that point alcohol was an amazing tool that had the ability to instantaneously change my perception and the way I felt, and this is the key to managing long term sustained sobriety for an alcoholic like myself. Because while I have rarely if ever thought about drinking, there have been countless times I have really wanted to change the way I felt. This is why the little actions are so important regardless of how well I think I am traveling.
Very interesting point. I've been thinking about drinking but also trying to analyze why. I avoid drinking at work as it makes sense as no real good can come from it, but surely I can have a drink at home over the long weekend right?

But your point above is where I got to, just because I'm under control with not having big nights, why do I want to have a drink now, there is no real benefit, it's not going to lead to a great night out etc. Realizing more and more that I need stuff like the ice swim (BTW, congrats guys but Jesus that seems like a horrible idea), to get this altered mood rather than relying on a drink.

This week was a prime chance for things to go haywire. Early finish on Friday for a long weekend, booze in the office. A few months ago I'm pretty sure that would've ended with an unplanned late night, instead I was for dinner with my family and able to get a heap done on Saturday. A more quiet satisfaction that it went that way rather than the big excitement I had of avoiding these decisions a few weeks ago
Slick
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Monkey Magic wrote: Mon Oct 24, 2022 7:30 am
Harveys wrote: Mon Oct 24, 2022 3:22 am Actually…… To carry on that thought. Not thinking about drinking while a great place to be is by no means the final destination.

At the end of my drinking, I was a chronic, habitual drinker who drank to black out daily. However, long before I arrived at that point alcohol was an amazing tool that had the ability to instantaneously change my perception and the way I felt, and this is the key to managing long term sustained sobriety for an alcoholic like myself. Because while I have rarely if ever thought about drinking, there have been countless times I have really wanted to change the way I felt. This is why the little actions are so important regardless of how well I think I am traveling.
Very interesting point. I've been thinking about drinking but also trying to analyze why. I avoid drinking at work as it makes sense as no real good can come from it, but surely I can have a drink at home over the long weekend right?

But your point above is where I got to, just because I'm under control with not having big nights, why do I want to have a drink now, there is no real benefit, it's not going to lead to a great night out etc. Realizing more and more that I need stuff like the ice swim (BTW, congrats guys but Jesus that seems like a horrible idea), to get this altered mood rather than relying on a drink.

This week was a prime chance for things to go haywire. Early finish on Friday for a long weekend, booze in the office. A few months ago I'm pretty sure that would've ended with an unplanned late night, instead I was for dinner with my family and able to get a heap done on Saturday. A more quiet satisfaction that it went that way rather than the big excitement I had of avoiding these decisions a few weeks ago
It's funny this has come up..

I've long believed that the reason I drank was to alter my state of mind. Back in the day if it wasn't booze it would be a joint, but most evenings, one way or another, I'd be doing something to get somewhere else - I'm sure there are pages of phycological reason for this, but that's not the point of this.

Yesterday, at the Sunday dip, a guy brought his wife along who had been dipping for 3 years and we started chatting. She used to be a big drinker and this was exactly her point, the cold water takes her head to a different place that doesn't need booze which made me realise that's why I crave the cold water. I'm much more comfortable in my own thoughts in the evenings now and would rather get stuck into a book after the kids have gone to bed than a bottle of wine.

Drinking/not drinking is still one of my first thoughts every morning, although I'm only just into this really (100 days tomorrow) and I'm trying to decide if I want these thoughts to continue as I move further along as a reminder or if I eventually want it to go.

In other news, I woke up this morning with one of those odd feelings that I had a massive weekend hangover then a relief that swept over me as I realised I didn't.
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Tichtheid
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Slick wrote: Mon Oct 24, 2022 8:17 am
It's funny this has come up..

I've long believed that the reason I drank was to alter my state of mind. Back in the day if it wasn't booze it would be a joint, but most evenings, one way or another, I'd be doing something to get somewhere else - I'm sure there are pages of phycological reason for this, but that's not the point of this.

It took me a while, but I finally realised I was chasing the party - when I was younger it would be weekday evenings around the pool table in the pub, we had a great local full of friends, you'd go in there and know at least a dozen people as close friends, and the others as people you could easily strike up a conversation with. The pub had a great jukebox, everything from Johnny Cash to The Clash, there was always a great vibe in there.
New Year's day was the best party ever, the upstairs bar (about four steps through an open doorway from the downstairs bar) was where the old guys would be playing dominoes with a half pint and a whisky on Saturday afternoon, but it would get full in the evenings. On Hogmanay and NY day the place would be jumping; bagpipes, accordions, fiddles etc

We all had similar interests and at the weekends after the pubs shut it would be all back to someone house for a party, this went on for several years.

As I say, it took me a while to realise that it was that feeling I was chasing, it wasn't the case for a long time because the children were more than enough to take up that space, However when they got older and had their own lives and friends, things started to change, and now they are grown up in their 20s I think I dodged a bullet because I could have easily just turned to getting obliterated every night, there was a while there I was doing just that.

I don't really struggle with not drinking during the week at all now because it's become the new normal and I'm enjoying what I do during the day (though I'm skivving right now), and there is no way I could concentrate with a hangover, oh that's the other thing, hangovers in your 50s are brutal - no thanks.
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Kiwias
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Harveys wrote: Mon Oct 24, 2022 3:22 am Actually…… To carry on that thought. Not thinking about drinking while a great place to be is by no means the final destination.

At the end of my drinking, I was a chronic, habitual drinker who drank to black out daily. However, long before I arrived at that point alcohol was an amazing tool that had the ability to instantaneously change my perception and the way I felt, and this is the key to managing long term sustained sobriety for an alcoholic like myself. Because while I have rarely if ever thought about drinking, there have been countless times I have really wanted to change the way I felt. This is why the little actions are so important regardless of how well I think I am traveling.
Two extremely thought-provoking posts. Thank you. I agree that the variety of means by which members of our group here are dealing with the issues that arise from staying sober is very encouraging: there is no single way that must be followed and each of us is finding what works for us.

How I feel about myself is one area I have undergone the greatest change. I never dealt with personal issues, but instead drifted along the path of letting alcohol blur over everything. I was always aware that I was not comfortable with myself, in all honesty I actually did not like who I was even when I was sober (no real sense of identity) and I liked myself even less when drunk but by that point I was addicted.

I stopped drinking in January 2004 and the first ten years had their share of trials and tribulations but the positives were definitely winning: I was growing to like myself more. This feeling grew stronger after the birth of my granddaughter in early-2014.

Then after my dad's funeral in 2017, I was having dinner with my older brother and a couple we had known for over 50 years. As a naive innocent 14-year old, I had idolised the wife when she was a mere kid of 19 (totally unrequited and well-known by my brother and her husband).

She and I were chatting after dinner about Dad and stuff, when she suddenly took my hand in hers, looked me straight in the eye, and asked if I liked myself. There was a long pause and I said 'Yes, I do, and this is the first time in my life I have ever been able to say that'.

She looked at me with the sweetest expression possible and said that she had always worried about me, that it was clear I was a deeply unhappy person, one she really wanted to see happy.

It was a magical moment.

Sorry for the long and very personal post.
Slick
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Really great post Kiwias, there is something in that for me.

I'm not sure if it's age or sobriety, or a bit of both, but I'm much more comfortable with myself and my foibles, which I know can annoy some people, but generally not the people I want to spend time with. Which is a relief. Finding it's easier to accept that than try and be someone I'm not, and dumb it all down with booze.
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Kiwias
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Slick wrote: Mon Oct 24, 2022 1:40 pm Really great post Kiwias, there is something in that for me.

I'm not sure if it's age or sobriety, or a bit of both, but I'm much more comfortable with myself and my foibles, which I know can annoy some people, but generally not the people I want to spend time with. Which is a relief. Finding it's easier to accept that than try and be someone I'm not, and dumb it all down with booze.
Thanks. Age and sobriety are both factors for me too.
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Kiwias
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Monkey Magic wrote: Mon Oct 24, 2022 7:30 am
This week was a prime chance for things to go haywire. Early finish on Friday for a long weekend, booze in the office. A few months ago I'm pretty sure that would've ended with an unplanned late night, instead I was for dinner with my family and able to get a heap done on Saturday. A more quiet satisfaction that it went that way rather than the big excitement I had of avoiding these decisions a few weeks ago
That is a seriously shit-hot comment. It is times like this that give you the confidence that you can live a decent life sober and don't need alcohol.
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Kiwias
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Slick wrote: Mon Oct 24, 2022 8:17 am It's funny this has come up..

I've long believed that the reason I drank was to alter my state of mind. Back in the day if it wasn't booze it would be a joint, but most evenings, one way or another, I'd be doing something to get somewhere else - I'm sure there are pages of phycological reason for this, but that's not the point of this.

Drinking/not drinking is still one of my first thoughts every morning, although I'm only just into this really (100 days tomorrow) and I'm trying to decide if I want these thoughts to continue as I move further along as a reminder or if I eventually want it to go.

In other news, I woke up this morning with one of those odd feelings that I had a massive weekend hangover then a relief that swept over me as I realised I didn't.
I am pretty much convinced that I drank was because I did not really like who I was (see my earlier post) and alcohol let me escape into a different world. By the time I realised that I did not particularly like the person I became when drunk, I was a full-blown alcoholic.

Your comment about your first thought every morning goes to the heart of how you want to live your life and it seems that you do know that your life will be better if you are sober.

I had to laugh at your last comment -- brings back memories of my own personal rock-bottom. It was a mid-winter night and in my nightmare I was blotto and had started beating my wife (something I was guilty of in real life). I woke in a cold sweat then realised it had been a nightmare. The feeling I had was so intense and terrifying that I knew then that I would rather die than go through that again in real life.

Over breakfast, I admitted to my wife that I was an alcoholic and that I needed help to escape the grip of the demon. Three days later I attended by first self-help group meeting and the rest, as they say, is history.

Life could not be any better.
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Ymx
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Blimey kiwias, your wife is very forgiving that she stayed with you. I can see why it still haunts you.
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Kiwias
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Ymx wrote: Tue Oct 25, 2022 9:24 pm Blimey kiwias, your wife is very forgiving that she stayed with you. I can see why it still haunts you.
She is amazing and that is why I still attend my weekly meetings -- as a statement to her personally that I am totally committed to staying sober for the rest of my life.
Line6 HXFX
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Unlike you Kiwias..I drink because of my Mrs.
Nurses are alcoholics.
Straight up alchies.
She was a old soak at 29 and an older soak now at 56.
Daily doses of death does that.

Henyway, she buys booze, i have to drink half of it before she consumes the lot.

It doesn't help that alcohol is the only thing outside walking 15 miles..that works ( by work I mean "takes my mind off) the chronic back pain.
Think drink or walking makes me sleep more relaxed and helps the back pain the next day.

Crikey, I have the rationalising my addiction thing down brilliantly.

Don't drink much though 2 pints a day at night max, and I am done.
Still...twice the recommended weekly dose though.
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Ymx
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How’s the cold dips going Slick?

Is the water cooling down?

Does the group keep doing it through Autumn and Winter?
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Kiwias
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Line6 HXFX wrote: Fri Oct 28, 2022 2:41 pm Unlike you Kiwias..I drink because of my Mrs.
Nurses are alcoholics.
Straight up alchies.
She was a old soak at 29 and an older soak now at 56.
Daily doses of death does that.

Henyway, she buys booze, i have to drink half of it before she consumes the lot.

It doesn't help that alcohol is the only thing outside walking 15 miles..that works ( by work I mean "takes my mind off) the chronic back pain.
Think drink or walking makes me sleep more relaxed and helps the back pain the next day.

Crikey, I have the rationalising my addiction thing down brilliantly.

Don't drink much though 2 pints a day at night max, and I am done.
Still...twice the recommended weekly dose though.
Line6 HXFX

That sounds very tough. From your post, it does not sound as if your wife is either aware of or trying to address her alcoholism.

I suspect I would probably still be drinking if I were in your shoes.

Be strong.
Last edited by Kiwias on Sat Oct 29, 2022 6:14 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Ymx
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That was not me who posted that kiwias, it was refry (line6-h…)
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Kiwias
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Ymx wrote: Sat Oct 29, 2022 6:04 am That was not me who posted that kiwias, it was refry (line6-h…)
My bad.
Slick
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Ymx wrote: Fri Oct 28, 2022 6:09 pm How’s the cold dips going Slick?

Is the water cooling down?

Does the group keep doing it through Autumn and Winter?
All good thanks, water down to about 11 at the moment which is manageable, although time in the water is getting a little less - down to about 15 minutes from 20 minutes. The group goes right through the winter, although attendances get a bit smaller! I've seen photos of last winter with frost on the sand.

On this, we had a social on Friday night and about 25 turned up. Most were drinking but one guy I've got friendly with wasn't and I asked if he was driving, he wasn't, but he hasn't drunk for 8 years. This was a massive revelation for me, top bloke, life and soul of any gathering and I had no idea he was sober. Finding that out has edged me round the corner of accepting that this is not just a few months off, and it feels good.
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Kiwias
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Slick wrote: Mon Oct 31, 2022 9:56 am
Ymx wrote: Fri Oct 28, 2022 6:09 pm How’s the cold dips going Slick?

Is the water cooling down?

Does the group keep doing it through Autumn and Winter?
All good thanks, water down to about 11 at the moment which is manageable, although time in the water is getting a little less - down to about 15 minutes from 20 minutes. The group goes right through the winter, although attendances get a bit smaller! I've seen photos of last winter with frost on the sand.

On this, we had a social on Friday night and about 25 turned up. Most were drinking but one guy I've got friendly with wasn't and I asked if he was driving, he wasn't, but he hasn't drunk for 8 years. This was a massive revelation for me, top bloke, life and soul of any gathering and I had no idea he was sober. Finding that out has edged me round the corner of accepting that this is not just a few months off, and it feels good.
That must be a real boost for you, realizing that you can enjoy social activities as much even without any booze. Hang in there, mate.
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Ymx
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Slick wrote: Mon Oct 31, 2022 9:56 am
Ymx wrote: Fri Oct 28, 2022 6:09 pm How’s the cold dips going Slick?

Is the water cooling down?

Does the group keep doing it through Autumn and Winter?
All good thanks, water down to about 11 at the moment which is manageable, although time in the water is getting a little less - down to about 15 minutes from 20 minutes. The group goes right through the winter, although attendances get a bit smaller! I've seen photos of last winter with frost on the sand.

On this, we had a social on Friday night and about 25 turned up. Most were drinking but one guy I've got friendly with wasn't and I asked if he was driving, he wasn't, but he hasn't drunk for 8 years. This was a massive revelation for me, top bloke, life and soul of any gathering and I had no idea he was sober. Finding that out has edged me round the corner of accepting that this is not just a few months off, and it feels good.
11 degrees feels pretty cold. Frost on the sand. Ouch !! You are a brave bunch!

Great news you’ve found a sober buddy. I’ve still not really found anyone in the same boat. It’s amazing to see how intrinsically linked boozing and evening socialising are with 99% of the population.
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Jim Lahey
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Obviously I'm not on the level as some of you lads but how do you recommend cutting back on casual drinking?

I'm 33 and am a busy husband and father of 3 girls, aged 6 and under. Life is pretty hectic with work committments, traveling to the US with work every 8 weeks or so, coaching my eldest's footy team 3 days a week, taking the kids to their various activities during the week and weekend etc. My wife and I normally spend time with friends/family every weekend that involves a few drinks/food. I also cycle quite a bit, and am training for an event in April that requires about 8-10 hours a week. I'm also probably 10-12kgs over my fighting weight so have the added pressure of focusing on diet ontop of everything else to get that belly off.

Anyhoo, I find on Friday and Saturday nights I crave beer. Absolutely hankering for a beer. I don't drink excessively (I maybe go a bit too far 2 or 3 times a year) but this weekend for example I bought 6x 660ml bottles of beer and put them away across Friday and Saturday. Nothing major but it ultimately leads me to have a shit night's sleep and I end up eating more than I should as a result. It affects my cycling as I'm normally up and out early in the mornings to get my training in before the kids are up and demanding attention. So if I sleep poorly (even if its just 3x beers), it adds strain onto my life.

But I really enjoy those weekend beers, and as I say I feel a craving toward them. If I don't have them I feel like I'm denying myself a pleasure which I feel that I deserve.

Ultinately I would love to give them up but in the heat of the battle come 6pm on Friday, I typically give in.

Any advice as to how to manage this?

Cheers
Ian Madigan for Ireland.
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Tichtheid
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Jim Lahey wrote: Mon Nov 14, 2022 6:50 am Obviously I'm not on the level as some of you lads but how do you recommend cutting back on casual drinking?

I'm 33 and am a busy husband and father of 3 girls, aged 6 and under. Life is pretty hectic with work committments, traveling to the US with work every 8 weeks or so, coaching my eldest's footy team 3 days a week, taking the kids to their various activities during the week and weekend etc. My wife and I normally spend time with friends/family every weekend that involves a few drinks/food. I also cycle quite a bit, and am training for an event in April that requires about 8-10 hours a week. I'm also probably 10-12kgs over my fighting weight so have the added pressure of focusing on diet ontop of everything else to get that belly off.

Anyhoo, I find on Friday and Saturday nights I crave beer. Absolutely hankering for a beer. I don't drink excessively (I maybe go a bit too far 2 or 3 times a year) but this weekend for example I bought 6x 660ml bottles of beer and put them away across Friday and Saturday. Nothing major but it ultimately leads me to have a shit night's sleep and I end up eating more than I should as a result. It affects my cycling as I'm normally up and out early in the mornings to get my training in before the kids are up and demanding attention. So if I sleep poorly (even if its just 3x beers), it adds strain onto my life.

But I really enjoy those weekend beers, and as I say I feel a craving toward them. If I don't have them I feel like I'm denying myself a pleasure which I feel that I deserve.

Ultinately I would love to give them up but in the heat of the battle come 6pm on Friday, I typically give in.

Any advice as to how to manage this?

Cheers

I know that feeling of "deserving a beer" at the end of the week, we've been conditioned into thinking that alcohol is a reward of some kind - it could just as easily be that the reward is taking the time to go for a swim or whatever, but it's the beer that wins out.
The reward leads to a bad night's sleep and feeling a bit groggy the next morning. If you're training for a cycling event, 100ml of Kronenbourg carry 40 kcals, that's 40 x 6.6 x 6 = 1584 excess calories with no nutritional value, plus any snacks like crisps or peanuts that go with the beers. That's approximately 2-3 hours of cycling to burn those beers off.

There's a mind-shift when you stop, you go from thinking that you're giving something up to realising what you've gained

I'd say don't buy the beer in advance. Give it till 9pm at least on the Friday, I've found that when I wait till after 7 the craving goes away
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Kiwias
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Tichtheid wrote: Mon Nov 14, 2022 10:20 am
Jim Lahey wrote: Mon Nov 14, 2022 6:50 am Obviously I'm not on the level as some of you lads but how do you recommend cutting back on casual drinking?

I'm 33 and am a busy husband and father of 3 girls, aged 6 and under. Life is pretty hectic with work committments, traveling to the US with work every 8 weeks or so, coaching my eldest's footy team 3 days a week, taking the kids to their various activities during the week and weekend etc. My wife and I normally spend time with friends/family every weekend that involves a few drinks/food. I also cycle quite a bit, and am training for an event in April that requires about 8-10 hours a week. I'm also probably 10-12kgs over my fighting weight so have the added pressure of focusing on diet ontop of everything else to get that belly off.

Anyhoo, I find on Friday and Saturday nights I crave beer. Absolutely hankering for a beer. I don't drink excessively (I maybe go a bit too far 2 or 3 times a year) but this weekend for example I bought 6x 660ml bottles of beer and put them away across Friday and Saturday. Nothing major but it ultimately leads me to have a shit night's sleep and I end up eating more than I should as a result. It affects my cycling as I'm normally up and out early in the mornings to get my training in before the kids are up and demanding attention. So if I sleep poorly (even if its just 3x beers), it adds strain onto my life.

But I really enjoy those weekend beers, and as I say I feel a craving toward them. If I don't have them I feel like I'm denying myself a pleasure which I feel that I deserve.

Ultinately I would love to give them up but in the heat of the battle come 6pm on Friday, I typically give in.

Any advice as to how to manage this?

Cheers

I know that feeling of "deserving a beer" at the end of the week, we've been conditioned into thinking that alcohol is a reward of some kind - it could just as easily be that the reward is taking the time to go for a swim or whatever, but it's the beer that wins out.
The reward leads to a bad night's sleep and feeling a bit groggy the next morning. If you're training for a cycling event, 100ml of Kronenbourg carry 40 kcals, that's 40 x 6.6 x 6 = 1584 excess calories with no nutritional value, plus any snacks like crisps or peanuts that go with the beers. That's approximately 2-3 hours of cycling to burn those beers off.

There's a mind-shift when you stop, you go from thinking that you're giving something up to realising what you've gained

I'd say don't buy the beer in advance. Give it till 9pm at least on the Friday, I've found that when I wait till after 7 the craving goes away
Tichtheid

Very good comment. A lot of our drinking was due to habit more than anything.

I also liked your comment of the change in mind-shift from giving something up to making a decision that produces real benefits. It really does get easier after this happens.
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Jim Lahey
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Tichtheid wrote: Mon Nov 14, 2022 10:20 am
Jim Lahey wrote: Mon Nov 14, 2022 6:50 am Obviously I'm not on the level as some of you lads but how do you recommend cutting back on casual drinking?

I'm 33 and am a busy husband and father of 3 girls, aged 6 and under. Life is pretty hectic with work committments, traveling to the US with work every 8 weeks or so, coaching my eldest's footy team 3 days a week, taking the kids to their various activities during the week and weekend etc. My wife and I normally spend time with friends/family every weekend that involves a few drinks/food. I also cycle quite a bit, and am training for an event in April that requires about 8-10 hours a week. I'm also probably 10-12kgs over my fighting weight so have the added pressure of focusing on diet ontop of everything else to get that belly off.

Anyhoo, I find on Friday and Saturday nights I crave beer. Absolutely hankering for a beer. I don't drink excessively (I maybe go a bit too far 2 or 3 times a year) but this weekend for example I bought 6x 660ml bottles of beer and put them away across Friday and Saturday. Nothing major but it ultimately leads me to have a shit night's sleep and I end up eating more than I should as a result. It affects my cycling as I'm normally up and out early in the mornings to get my training in before the kids are up and demanding attention. So if I sleep poorly (even if its just 3x beers), it adds strain onto my life.

But I really enjoy those weekend beers, and as I say I feel a craving toward them. If I don't have them I feel like I'm denying myself a pleasure which I feel that I deserve.

Ultinately I would love to give them up but in the heat of the battle come 6pm on Friday, I typically give in.

Any advice as to how to manage this?

Cheers

I know that feeling of "deserving a beer" at the end of the week, we've been conditioned into thinking that alcohol is a reward of some kind - it could just as easily be that the reward is taking the time to go for a swim or whatever, but it's the beer that wins out.
The reward leads to a bad night's sleep and feeling a bit groggy the next morning. If you're training for a cycling event, 100ml of Kronenbourg carry 40 kcals, that's 40 x 6.6 x 6 = 1584 excess calories with no nutritional value, plus any snacks like crisps or peanuts that go with the beers. That's approximately 2-3 hours of cycling to burn those beers off.

There's a mind-shift when you stop, you go from thinking that you're giving something up to realising what you've gained

I'd say don't buy the beer in advance. Give it till 9pm at least on the Friday, I've found that when I wait till after 7 the craving goes away
Christ :lol: :lol:

Binning the beers probably gets me 75% of the way to the bodyweight goal then.

Cheers, get what you are saying. I love going out on my bike so that in itself is a reward. For some strange reason I am sabotaging myself with the beers :thumbdown:
Ian Madigan for Ireland.
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Kiwias
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Tichtheid wrote: Mon Nov 14, 2022 10:20 am
Jim Lahey wrote: Mon Nov 14, 2022 6:50 am
I know that feeling of "deserving a beer" at the end of the week, we've been conditioned into thinking that alcohol is a reward of some kind - it could just as easily be that the reward is taking the time to go for a swim or whatever, but it's the beer that wins out.
The reward leads to a bad night's sleep and feeling a bit groggy the next morning. If you're training for a cycling event, 100ml of Kronenbourg carry 40 kcals, that's 40 x 6.6 x 6 = 1584 excess calories with no nutritional value, plus any snacks like crisps or peanuts that go with the beers. That's approximately 2-3 hours of cycling to burn those beers off.

There's a mind-shift when you stop, you go from thinking that you're giving something up to realising what you've gained

I'd say don't buy the beer in advance. Give it till 9pm at least on the Friday, I've found that when I wait till after 7 the craving goes away
Christ :lol: :lol:

Binning the beers probably gets me 75% of the way to the bodyweight goal then.

Cheers, get what you are saying. I love going out on my bike so that in itself is a reward. For some strange reason I am sabotaging myself with the beers :thumbdown:
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Slick
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Jim Lahey wrote: Mon Nov 14, 2022 6:50 am Obviously I'm not on the level as some of you lads but how do you recommend cutting back on casual drinking?

I'm 33 and am a busy husband and father of 3 girls, aged 6 and under. Life is pretty hectic with work committments, traveling to the US with work every 8 weeks or so, coaching my eldest's footy team 3 days a week, taking the kids to their various activities during the week and weekend etc. My wife and I normally spend time with friends/family every weekend that involves a few drinks/food. I also cycle quite a bit, and am training for an event in April that requires about 8-10 hours a week. I'm also probably 10-12kgs over my fighting weight so have the added pressure of focusing on diet ontop of everything else to get that belly off.

Anyhoo, I find on Friday and Saturday nights I crave beer. Absolutely hankering for a beer. I don't drink excessively (I maybe go a bit too far 2 or 3 times a year) but this weekend for example I bought 6x 660ml bottles of beer and put them away across Friday and Saturday. Nothing major but it ultimately leads me to have a shit night's sleep and I end up eating more than I should as a result. It affects my cycling as I'm normally up and out early in the mornings to get my training in before the kids are up and demanding attention. So if I sleep poorly (even if its just 3x beers), it adds strain onto my life.

But I really enjoy those weekend beers, and as I say I feel a craving toward them. If I don't have them I feel like I'm denying myself a pleasure which I feel that I deserve.

Ultinately I would love to give them up but in the heat of the battle come 6pm on Friday, I typically give in.

Any advice as to how to manage this?

Cheers
Have you tried AF beers? Some of them are absolutely brilliant these days. I was knocking them back at the beginning but now just tend to have 1 or 2 a couple of nights a week and really enjoy them.

I used to have that 5pm craving every night and someone suggested it was a sugar craving rather than the alcohol so had a sweet drink at that time and it helped.

Just a couple of suggestions
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Monkey Magic
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Canes4Eva wrote: Wed Oct 19, 2022 5:13 pm
Kiwias wrote: Tue Oct 18, 2022 6:19 am
Canes4Eva wrote: Mon Oct 17, 2022 10:13 pm heading into week 9 now, debating whether I go to our monthly work team "Thirsty Thursday" gathering at the local....I think I will and can always invoke Sober October if needed
Sober October is a pretty solid escape plan. Good luck.
thanks Kiwias. The siren call has been rather strong lately. Simply ticking off the days helps.
How are you getting on Canes?

I'm in a similar boat, coming closer to the 3 month mark but now running into Xmas with client/supplier/company work functions coming up. So far I've made excuses for a couple but will have to do a few.

Struggling with not just the what to say for people I'm not that close to who I've been drinking with before (sober driver doesn't work when uber is provided), but also the part of me that remembers hiw fun these nights have been before
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ASMO
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Monkey Magic wrote: Thu Nov 17, 2022 7:41 am
Canes4Eva wrote: Wed Oct 19, 2022 5:13 pm
Kiwias wrote: Tue Oct 18, 2022 6:19 am

Sober October is a pretty solid escape plan. Good luck.
thanks Kiwias. The siren call has been rather strong lately. Simply ticking off the days helps.
How are you getting on Canes?

I'm in a similar boat, coming closer to the 3 month mark but now running into Xmas with client/supplier/company work functions coming up. So far I've made excuses for a couple but will have to do a few.

Struggling with not just the what to say for people I'm not that close to who I've been drinking with before (sober driver doesn't work when uber is provided), but also the part of me that remembers hiw fun these nights have been before
Why not just say you are off the grog for the foreseeable future, its the truth, and i find that is always the best approach, don;t tie yourself up in knots over it, there is no shame in my view.
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Kiwias
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Monkey Magic wrote: Thu Nov 17, 2022 7:41 am
Canes4Eva wrote: Wed Oct 19, 2022 5:13 pm
Kiwias wrote: Tue Oct 18, 2022 6:19 am

Sober October is a pretty solid escape plan. Good luck.
thanks Kiwias. The siren call has been rather strong lately. Simply ticking off the days helps.
How are you getting on Canes?

I'm in a similar boat, coming closer to the 3 month mark but now running into Xmas with client/supplier/company work functions coming up. So far I've made excuses for a couple but will have to do a few.

Struggling with not just the what to say for people I'm not that close to who I've been drinking with before (sober driver doesn't work when uber is provided), but also the part of me that remembers hiw fun these nights have been before
One way is to say your doctor has asked you do stay off booze for a while due to some concerns over your liver but if you don’t feel comfortable telling porkies, you could always just say that you have decided to stop for a while. You actually don’t need to give any further explanation and I suspect you will find that after an initial reaction, pretty soon nobody will really give two fucks. And you can enjoy yourself without booze — that has been one of the major discoveries of my sobriety.

Cheers
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