The Brexit Thread

[fishfoodie]

You have to love this in the Torygraph

British businesses will need to submit 215 million more customs forms a year after the Brexit transition period ends, it has emerged.

On Monday the government published its post-Brexit border guidance for the first time, with a 206-page document on how the import and export system will work.

The process will involve 400 million more annual customs forms for British and European businesses in total.

Each form will cost between £15 and £56, HM Revenue & Customs has said. It would therefore cost British businesses as much as £12bn a year to process the additional 215 million customs forms.

So not only tariffs to be paid, but costly complicated forms too. Whose idea was this?

Don't forget the 50,000 customs agents that you'll need, but no one has started training yet; & in an interview a couple of years ago with a UK agent, they said it takes a couple of years to train up an new agent, on the mountains of regulations.

[Zig]

That sounds good.

I was thinking of setting up a customs handling agency.

I've zero experience but if the customs officials are learning on the fly and just rushing goods through it could be a goer.

Hire a few people with transcontinental experience to deal with the paperwork and charge like a cunt.

[tabascoboy]

Don't forget the 50,000 customs agents that you'll need, but no one has started training yet; & in an interview a couple of years ago with a UK agent, they said it takes a couple of years to train up an new agent, on the mountains of regulations.

"Brexit creating jobs" #bimbot

[dpedin]

Don't forget the 50,000 customs agents that you'll need, but no one has started training yet; & in an interview a couple of years ago with a UK agent, they said it takes a couple of years to train up an new agent, on the mountains of regulations.

"Brexit creating jobs" #bimbo

Looks easy - all you need is a shell company, doesn't need to have any background in customs just make something up like pest control, register it in a tax haven, max of £50 in share capital, £20 in current assets and make sure you have a Tory councillor as a Director and a contract worth a couple of million will be on your desk as quick as a handshake from Dom Cummings. You might not need to do anything but just in case you do make sure you price your service at 2x or 3x the market rate and say your working on it or its in transit. Or have I got that wrong ...

[ASMO]

Don't forget the 50,000 customs agents that you'll need, but no one has started training yet; & in an interview a couple of years ago with a UK agent, they said it takes a couple of years to train up an new agent, on the mountains of regulations.

"Brexit creating jobs" #bimbo

Looks easy - all you need is a shell company, doesn't need to have any background in customs just make something up like pest control, register it in a tax haven, max of £50 in share capital, £20 in current assets and make sure you have a Tory councillor as a Director and a contract worth a couple of million will be on your desk as quick as a handshake from Dom Cummings. You might not need to do anything but just in case you do make sure you price your service at 2x or 3x the market rate and say your working on it or its in transit. Or have I got that wrong ...

It worked for a ferry company with no actual ferries, so there is a precedent.

[iarmhí]

They're chucking out Huawei

As a telco networks engineer all I can say is:

Well done UK. About bloody time.

[robmatic]

You have to love this in the Torygraph

British businesses will need to submit 215 million more customs forms a year after the Brexit transition period ends, it has emerged.

On Monday the government published its post-Brexit border guidance for the first time, with a 206-page document on how the import and export system will work.

The process will involve 400 million more annual customs forms for British and European businesses in total.

Each form will cost between £15 and £56, HM Revenue & Customs has said. It would therefore cost British businesses as much as £12bn a year to process the additional 215 million customs forms.

So not only tariffs to be paid, but costly complicated forms too. Whose idea was this?

Of course this was impossible to predict.

[Ali Cadoo]

Shame. Good geordie company losing business like that.

[.OverThere]

That sounds good.

I was thinking of setting up a customs handling agency.

I've zero experience but if the customs officials are learning on the fly and just rushing goods through it could be a goer.

Hire a few people with transcontinental experience to deal with the paperwork and charge like a cunt.

There are hundreds if not 000's of people with the required experience in the Dover region. They were made redundant in 1993 with the introduction of the single market. You might have to head to the Heathrow area though to find the guys who have the HMRC online experience. The Dover guys had barely graduated from filling the forms in with biros.

[walletoraccess]

I remember closing down our Dover office
Los of jobs went very quickly as well as a nice little income stream

[.OverThere]

I remember closing down our Dover office
Los of jobs went very quickly as well as a nice little income stream

Yep, ours survived about 3 weeks into the year.

[dpedin]

Shame. Good geordie company losing business like that.

Took me a minute ... need some caffeine

[Ali Cadoo]

Shame. Good geordie company losing business like that.

Took me a minute ... need some caffeine

[Sandstorm]

That sounds good.

I was thinking of setting up a customs handling agency.

I've zero experience but if the customs officials are learning on the fly and just rushing goods through it could be a goer.

Hire a few people with transcontinental experience to deal with the paperwork and charge like a cunt.

There are hundreds if not 000's of people with the required experience in the Dover region. They were made redundant in 1993 with the introduction of the single market. You might have to head to the Heathrow area though to find the guys who have the HMRC online experience. The Dover guys had barely graduated from filling the forms in with biros.

Well I can tell you they haven't been snapped up by UPS, Fedex, TNT or any other freight company actually curently involved in Overseas Shipping outside the EU. Every single one of them is a fucking moron who couldn't advise a dog to lick its own balls!

If they can't get shipping paperwork right, God help the rest of us!

[.OverThere]

That sounds good.

I was thinking of setting up a customs handling agency.

I've zero experience but if the customs officials are learning on the fly and just rushing goods through it could be a goer.

Hire a few people with transcontinental experience to deal with the paperwork and charge like a cunt.

There are hundreds if not 000's of people with the required experience in the Dover region. They were made redundant in 1993 with the introduction of the single market. You might have to head to the Heathrow area though to find the guys who have the HMRC online experience. The Dover guys had barely graduated from filling the forms in with biros.

Well I can tell you they haven't been snapped up by UPS, Fedex, TNT or any other freight company actually curently involved in Overseas Shipping outside the EU. Every single one of them is a fucking moron who couldn't advise a dog to lick its own balls!

If they can't get shipping paperwork right, God help the rest of us!

I know. We kept on 2/25 who were experts with contacts. As far as I'm aware none of the others ever got a job in the industry again. Road freight back then was a bit slapdash. It'll be a total mess for the next few years though.
By the way the road and air people take the piss out of the deep sea guys saying things like "Im busy, there is a ship arriving in 6 weeks time"

[fishfoodie]

There are hundreds if not 000's of people with the required experience in the Dover region. They were made redundant in 1993 with the introduction of the single market. You might have to head to the Heathrow area though to find the guys who have the HMRC online experience. The Dover guys had barely graduated from filling the forms in with biros.

Well I can tell you they haven't been snapped up by UPS, Fedex, TNT or any other freight company actually curently involved in Overseas Shipping outside the EU. Every single one of them is a fucking moron who couldn't advise a dog to lick its own balls!

If they can't get shipping paperwork right, God help the rest of us!

I know. We kept on 2/25 who were experts with contacts. As far as I'm aware none of the others ever got a job in the industry again. Road freight back then was a bit slapdash. It'll be a total mess for the next few years though.
By the way the road and air people take the piss out of the deep sea guys saying things like "Im busy, there is a ship arriving in 6 weeks time"

That's why the Govester is tarmacing over Kent !

The French won't let a truck on the Ferry, or in the Chunnel, unless all the paperwork is on order; because they've no intention of spending a packet, to make Brexit smoother for the UK. You'd think this would also be a bloody good reason to make nice over the fishing problems; when the Country that has the biggest problem with it; is also the one with a good firm grip on the trading scrotum of the UK ?

[Sandstorm]

Brexit is gonna fuck us all like 3 Covid recessions and 4 Great Depressions.

[fishfoodie]

Brexit is gonna fuck us all like 3 Covid recessions and 4 Great Depressions.

The timing is less than ideal.

.... as is the leadership.

[.OverThere]

The French won't let a truck on the Ferry, or in the Chunnel, unless all the paperwork is on order; because they've no intention of spending a packet, to make Brexit smoother for the UK. You'd think this would also be a bloody good reason to make nice over the fishing problems; when the Country that has the biggest problem with it; is also the one with a good firm grip on the trading scrotum of the UK ?

No, the French will just do the normal border routine that all economic areas do at their frontier. It is nothing to do with Brexit, and all to do with bureaucracy. The Brits shall do the same.

[fishfoodie]

The French won't let a truck on the Ferry, or in the Chunnel, unless all the paperwork is on order; because they've no intention of spending a packet, to make Brexit smoother for the UK. You'd think this would also be a bloody good reason to make nice over the fishing problems; when the Country that has the biggest problem with it; is also the one with a good firm grip on the trading scrotum of the UK ?

No, the French will just do the normal border routine that all economic areas do at their frontier. It is nothing to do with Brexit, and all to do with bureaucracy. The Brits shall do the same.

My understanding was that there would be a check prior to any embarkation & entry into France; that would not be "normal border routine".

In a normal routine; you rock up at the Border entry point, & get your paper work checked, & if it isn't in order, you either wait, or get sent back.

To not even be allowed on the Ferry, or even into the Port, on the far side is not, "normal".

[.OverThere]

The French won't let a truck on the Ferry, or in the Chunnel, unless all the paperwork is on order; because they've no intention of spending a packet, to make Brexit smoother for the UK. You'd think this would also be a bloody good reason to make nice over the fishing problems; when the Country that has the biggest problem with it; is also the one with a good firm grip on the trading scrotum of the UK ?

No, the French will just do the normal border routine that all economic areas do at their frontier. It is nothing to do with Brexit, and all to do with bureaucracy. The Brits shall do the same.

My understanding was that there would be a check prior to any embarkation & entry into France; that would not be "normal border routine".

In a normal routine; you rock up at the Border entry point, & get your paper work checked, & if it isn't in order, you either wait, or get sent back.

To not even be allowed on the Ferry, or even into the Port, on the far side is not, "normal".

Sorry m8, I can't figure out whether you are coming or going.
Have required paperwork, then proceed. Don't have required paperwork when required, then you're going nowhere.
This is not new.
When leaving a country with goods, then an export declaration is required. When you get to the other side import paperwork is required, along with payment of duties and taxes. If you are saying the French will not let people leave France without having UK import paperwork (even though they have completed the export side), then they are doing the Brits a favour in not clogging up the Dover dockside.

[Ali Cadoo]

From first-hand experience at ports, it was hectic enough without all this extra red-tape. It is going to be grinding to a halt after about the first week, I should imagine.

[fishfoodie]

No, the French will just do the normal border routine that all economic areas do at their frontier. It is nothing to do with Brexit, and all to do with bureaucracy. The Brits shall do the same.

My understanding was that there would be a check prior to any embarkation & entry into France; that would not be "normal border routine".

In a normal routine; you rock up at the Border entry point, & get your paper work checked, & if it isn't in order, you either wait, or get sent back.

To not even be allowed on the Ferry, or even into the Port, on the far side is not, "normal".

Sorry m8, I can't figure out whether you are coming or going.
Have required paperwork, then proceed. Don't have required paperwork when required, then you're going nowhere.
This is not new.
When leaving a country with goods, then an export declaration is required. When you get to the other side import paperwork is required, along with payment of duties and taxes. If you are saying the French will not let people leave France without having UK import paperwork (even though they have completed the export side), then they are doing the Brits a favour in not clogging up the Dover dockside.

So do you have Australian Customs offcials in Heathrow ?

Do you have Vietnamese ?

Do they stop passengers getting on planes to their Countries, because they have filled out their paperwork before boarding their flight, & that paperwork is found to be incorrect ?

[.OverThere]

My understanding was that there would be a check prior to any embarkation & entry into France; that would not be "normal border routine".

In a normal routine; you rock up at the Border entry point, & get your paper work checked, & if it isn't in order, you either wait, or get sent back.

To not even be allowed on the Ferry, or even into the Port, on the far side is not, "normal".

Sorry m8, I can't figure out whether you are coming or going.
Have required paperwork, then proceed. Don't have required paperwork when required, then you're going nowhere.
This is not new.
When leaving a country with goods, then an export declaration is required. When you get to the other side import paperwork is required, along with payment of duties and taxes. If you are saying the French will not let people leave France without having UK import paperwork (even though they have completed the export side), then they are doing the Brits a favour in not clogging up the Dover dockside.

So do you have Australian Customs offcials in Heathrow ?

Do you have Vietnamese ?

Do they stop passengers getting on planes to their Countries, because they have filled out their paperwork before boarding their flight, & that paperwork is found to be incorrect ?

You're asking the wrong questions, and don't seem to have much clue how the world works.
I have no idea if Quantas do you a favour by stopping you from flying LHR - SYD if you do not have a visa to enter the country or not. You are still not getting in unless you have gone to the Australian Embassy and got a visa. Without the visa you will be on the next plane back, and you are paying.

[Zig]

Carriers get fined for passengers arriving without correct visa etc. so it's in their interest to check you have the correct documents before allowing you on the plane. I would have thought that was common knowledge.

[Sandstorm]

Who cares about tourists on planes? Brexit is about trade problems.

[tabascoboy]

From first-hand experience at ports, it was hectic enough without all this extra red-tape. It is going to be grinding to a halt after about the first week, I should imagine.

But hey we are getting rid of all the EU red tape FTW

[fishfoodie]

Who cares about tourists on planes? Brexit is about trade problems.

Exactly !

If you've a truck with 300 consignments on it; & even one has a problem in it's paperwork, the French won't let the truck on the ferry, or thru the chunnel. So 299 other packages get held up because some prat didn't tick all the right boxes.

When the UK hasn't got the professional customs agents to make sure the paperwork is right, that means SMEs & individuals will be doing it themselves; so you'll be bloody lucky have errors in single digits.

If you randomly distribute just 1% incorrect paperwork across the traffic across the channel; nothing will move; if the French/Dutch & Belgians do what they say they'll do.

[Ovals]

Who cares about tourists on planes? Brexit is about trade problems.

Exactly !

If you've a truck with 300 consignments on it; & even one has a problem in it's paperwork, the French won't let the truck on the ferry, or thru the chunnel. So 299 other packages get held up because some prat didn't tick all the right boxes.

When the UK hasn't got the professional customs agents to make sure the paperwork is right, that means SMEs & individuals will be doing it themselves; so you'll be bloody lucky have errors in single digits.

If you randomly distribute just 1% incorrect paperwork across the traffic across the channel; nothing will move; if the French/Dutch & Belgians do what they say they'll do.

I wonder if we'll see people panic shopping ahead of the changeover.......... Better stock up on those loo rolls !!

[Sandstorm]

Loo paper you can get here. Pharma? Not so much....

[fishfoodie]

Who cares about tourists on planes? Brexit is about trade problems.

Exactly !

If you've a truck with 300 consignments on it; & even one has a problem in it's paperwork, the French won't let the truck on the ferry, or thru the chunnel. So 299 other packages get held up because some prat didn't tick all the right boxes.

When the UK hasn't got the professional customs agents to make sure the paperwork is right, that means SMEs & individuals will be doing it themselves; so you'll be bloody lucky have errors in single digits.

If you randomly distribute just 1% incorrect paperwork across the traffic across the channel; nothing will move; if the French/Dutch & Belgians do what they say they'll do.

I wonder if we'll see people panic shopping ahead of the changeover.......... Better stock up on those loo rolls !!

Other little items like Insulin etc, might take priority.

Shippers are now going to have to engage in a new form of tetris; where they try to pack trucks & containers with goods, so that they never risk critical, or time sensitive shipments, with ones that might have dodgy paperwork; & if they do have packages that might have question marks over them; they need to have a map of where that exact package is in the container, so they can just remove it & proceed.

[TB63]

That sounds good.

I was thinking of setting up a customs handling agency.

I've zero experience but if the customs officials are learning on the fly and just rushing goods through it could be a goer.

Hire a few people with transcontinental experience to deal with the paperwork and charge like a cunt.

There are hundreds if not 000's of people with the required experience in the Dover region. They were made redundant in 1993 with the introduction of the single market. You might have to head to the Heathrow area though to find the guys who have the HMRC online experience. The Dover guys had barely graduated from filling the forms in with biros.

Well I can tell you they haven't been snapped up by UPS, Fedex, TNT or any other freight company actually curently involved in Overseas Shipping outside the EU. Every single one of them is a fucking moron who couldn't advise a dog to lick its own balls!

If they can't get shipping paperwork right, God help the rest of us!

Don't get me fucking started!
Garunteed 6 day delivery to Innisfail, the arse end of a small country called Australia, 15 fucking days later!...Still not arrived....

[The sun god]

Brexit is gonna fuck us all like 3 Covid recessions and 4 Great Depressions.

Yep.....

[lilyw]

Brexit is gonna fuck us all like 3 Covid recessions and 4 Great Depressions.

Yep.....

I don't get the schadenfreude from green labelled posters about chaos at the UK/French/Dutch/Belgian ports post-Brexit. Our exports are sitting in those queues, slowly spoiling & getting days closer to their use by dates. We are every bit as fucked as the UK.

[frodder]

This thread is ever so slightly different from the PR original.

Where's Bimbo and team to add some balance?

[And 1 guest]

This thread is ever so slightly different from the PR original.

Where's Bimbo and team to add some balance?

Is it possible to put Bimbo on ignore before he actually registers here?

[ASMO]

He is already here, i believe under the name of Aficionado

[Yeeb]

Brexit is gonna fuck us all like 3 Covid recessions and 4 Great Depressions.

Yep.....

I don't get the schadenfreude from green labelled posters about chaos at the UK/French/Dutch/Belgian ports post-Brexit. Our exports are sitting in those queues, slowly spoiling & getting days closer to their use by dates. We are every bit as fucked as the UK.

Perhaps this is just sabre rattling from all sides and after a few days / weeks of mountains of food going off in every port in Northern Europe , common sense will prevail and the stuff just gets waved on. This sort of ‘point proving ‘ happens in Gibraltar occasionally.
Overnight, uk / euro goods won’t all of a sudden fail any euro / uk standards in reality , it’s the paperwork that isn’t there or ability to even check it (on uk side at least)

Americans will just sit there rubbing their hands waiting to fill the gap and get another populous state to sell to, who will pay much higher prices for their McChlorine nuggets than they get domestically.

[The sun god]

Brexit is gonna fuck us all like 3 Covid recessions and 4 Great Depressions.

Yep.....

I don't get the schadenfreude from green labelled posters about chaos at the UK/French/Dutch/Belgian ports post-Brexit. Our exports are sitting in those queues, slowly spoiling & getting days closer to their use by dates. We are every bit as fucked as the UK.

I would imagine there are a lot of things you don't 'get'.

Had Sandstorm posted that the UK and Ireland were going to be fucked I still would have answered 'Yep'

[JM2K6]

He is already here, i believe under the name of Aficionado

I don't think that's bimbo. I think that's the poster "Bayern". Very different posting style.