Quitting the bottle

[Slick]

Just wanted to give a long overdue update. About a year after the thread started I fell of the wagon hard. Worse than ever before, I had a meltdown and cut myself off completely. It cumulated in my alcoholic father who succumbed to chyrosis and died 4 years ago. At the funeral, my brother and I got into a drunken brawl I was 47 and he was 42 and we smashed each other bloody over the old man's corpse.

I came home and decided to see a shrink because the booze was just a symptom. Fact is through the shrink the mechanics of my addiction became obvious. As children that were badly abused at home addiction was a letter in the post. That year 2017 I made the decision either or. And cold turkeyed. 4 years down the line still on the wagon. Much more humble than the first time.

Kiwias thanks for keeping the flame alive

Well done mate, you’ve got balls.

Merry Christmas

[Sandstorm]

Just wanted to give a long overdue update. About a year after the thread started I fell of the wagon hard. Worse than ever before, I had a meltdown and cut myself off completely. It cumulated in my alcoholic father who succumbed to chyrosis and died 4 years ago. At the funeral, my brother and I got into a drunken brawl I was 47 and he was 42 and we smashed each other bloody over the old man's corpse.

I came home and decided to see a shrink because the booze was just a symptom. Fact is through the shrink the mechanics of my addiction became obvious. As children that were badly abused at home addiction was a letter in the post. That year 2017 I made the decision either or. And cold turkeyed. 4 years down the line still on the wagon. Much more humble than the first time.

Kiwias thanks for keeping the flame alive

Damn Rocketz, that’s some history. Not the best story on Christmas Day, but kudos to you for getting on the right track.

[Kiwias]

Just wanted to give a long overdue update. About a year after the thread started I fell of the wagon hard. Worse than ever before, I had a meltdown and cut myself off completely. It cumulated in my alcoholic father who succumbed to chyrosis and died 4 years ago. At the funeral, my brother and I got into a drunken brawl I was 47 and he was 42 and we smashed each other bloody over the old man's corpse.

I came home and decided to see a shrink because the booze was just a symptom. Fact is through the shrink the mechanics of my addiction became obvious. As children that were badly abused at home addiction was a letter in the post. That year 2017 I made the decision either or. And cold turkeyed. 4 years down the line still on the wagon. Much more humble than the first time.

Kiwias thanks for keeping the flame alive

rocketz

This thread would not exist without your courageous decision to ask for help so the thanks are all for you, mate. I was worried at your prolonged absence from the thread so I am both a bit sad at your news but also inspired by your ultimate decision and the strength to carry it through.

I guess you still have my e-mail so please feel free to contact me at any time you wish. You will always have a comforting listening ear.

All the best for the festive season and well on past that too, mate.

[rocketz]

Just wanted to give a long overdue update. About a year after the thread started I fell of the wagon hard. Worse than ever before, I had a meltdown and cut myself off completely. It cumulated in my alcoholic father who succumbed to chyrosis and died 4 years ago. At the funeral, my brother and I got into a drunken brawl I was 47 and he was 42 and we smashed each other bloody over the old man's corpse.

I came home and decided to see a shrink because the booze was just a symptom. Fact is through the shrink the mechanics of my addiction became obvious. As children that were badly abused at home addiction was a letter in the post. That year 2017 I made the decision either or. And cold turkeyed. 4 years down the line still on the wagon. Much more humble than the first time.

Kiwias thanks for keeping the flame alive

rocketz

This thread would not exist without your courageous decision to ask for help so the thanks are all for you, mate. I was worried at your prolonged absence from the thread so I am both a bit sad at your news but also inspired by your ultimate decision and the strength to carry it through.

I guess you still have my e-mail so please feel free to contact me at any time you wish. You will always have a comforting listening ear.

All the best for the festive season and well on past that too, mate.

Thanks Kiwias.

I can give a tip. I dove wholeheartedly into stoicism. An Australian lad has a pod cast, Simon Drew. Saved my life

It made me cut all the fat from my thoughts. Magic

[Kiwias]

Just wanted to give a long overdue update. About a year after the thread started I fell of the wagon hard. Worse than ever before, I had a meltdown and cut myself off completely. It cumulated in my alcoholic father who succumbed to chyrosis and died 4 years ago. At the funeral, my brother and I got into a drunken brawl I was 47 and he was 42 and we smashed each other bloody over the old man's corpse.

I came home and decided to see a shrink because the booze was just a symptom. Fact is through the shrink the mechanics of my addiction became obvious. As children that were badly abused at home addiction was a letter in the post. That year 2017 I made the decision either or. And cold turkeyed. 4 years down the line still on the wagon. Much more humble than the first time.

Kiwias thanks for keeping the flame alive

rocketz

This thread would not exist without your courageous decision to ask for help so the thanks are all for you, mate. I was worried at your prolonged absence from the thread so I am both a bit sad at your news but also inspired by your ultimate decision and the strength to carry it through.

I guess you still have my e-mail so please feel free to contact me at any time you wish. You will always have a comforting listening ear.

All the best for the festive season and well on past that too, mate.

Thanks Kiwias.

I can give a tip. I dove wholeheartedly into stoicism. An Australian lad has a pod cast, Simon Drew. Saved my life

It made me cut all the fat from my thoughts. Magic

Good to hear you found a way. Hang around here a bit more, mate.

[rocketz]

Will do

I have one task on PR though

[Tichtheid]

I can give a tip. I dove wholeheartedly into stoicism. An Australian lad has a pod cast, Simon Drew. Saved my life

It made me cut all the fat from my thoughts. Magic

I think I found the site, but would you have links to particular podcasts/episodes (I'm not familiar with the correct terminology for podcasts) you think were helpful in cutting the fat from your thoughts?

Is this the place?

https://www.simonjedrew.com/practicalstoicpodcast/

[Kiwias]

As the year draws to an end, my wife and I were chatting about the year gone and the year to come. Her first words as a summary of 2021 were "you were sober for the entire year, which must be hard for you, and that to me is the most important thing".

Now that being sober has become pretty much second nature to me as I come to the end of my 18th year on the wagon, it is good to be reminded just how much it means to my wife, though I did correct her on her belief that it is hard for me. It is not hard now I have such a clear view of the benefits of being sober.

To all those well along the path, let's keep the faith and be an example to those just setting out on this journey.

To all those who are new to our fellowship and have not been on the journey long, please know that your life can and will get better for you. If you need a shoulder to lean on or an understanding ear, come on here and talk to us. None of us will be too busy to stop and listen to you and to share whatever insights and advice that may be appropriate.

There was a time I was jealous of those who can drink sensibly but that feeling has vanished now, with the full awareness that I can't. And that is alright with me. My life is better than I could ever have imagined before I stopped drinking.

Wishing all of you the best for the coming year.

[Kiwias]

The tradition here is to visit a local shrine at midnight on New Years Eve to bring in the new year with a quiet prayer to the gods of that specific shrine, in my case this one



As we walked to it through the snow and biting cold, I asked my wife what the highlight of 2021 had been for her. Her answer was both instantaneous and strong.
"You stayed sober for the entire year and for me, that is everything".

As if I needed any encouragement to continue the journey.

[troglodiet]

Congrats to all who are keeping to their sobriety.

And best of wishes to all those still trying to get there.


I wasn't very active over the past year due to some family issues (had to get used being a dad for one, and being a dad of a teenage boy at that) and quite a lot of hours working, so can post on this thread about my milestone: 20 years sober on 05/09/2022 (that's 5th of September to you Yanks!).

I agree with Kiwias, it comes to a point where you don't even think about staying sober, it just happens. This is a double-edged sword however, as it can also make you complacent and let you drop your guard.

So just be careful, whilst enjoying life to its fullest.

[mat the expat]

Well done Trogs! Good to see you

[Kiwias]

Congrats to all who are keeping to their sobriety.

And best of wishes to all those still trying to get there.


I wasn't very active over the past year due to some family issues (had to get used being a dad for one, and being a dad of a teenage boy at that) and quite a lot of hours working, so can post on this thread about my milestone: 20 years sober on 05/09/2022 (that's 5th of September to you Yanks!).

I agree with Kiwias, it comes to a point where you don't even think about staying sober, it just happens. This is a double-edged sword however, as it can also make you complacent and let you drop your guard.

So just be careful, whilst enjoying life to its fullest.

trogs
You are star, my man.

[Kiwias]

Today marks the 18th anniversary of my decision to stop drinking alcohol. The photos show me at my worst and how I am more recently, clear evidence that not drinking suits me.

I could not have done this without the full support of my loving wife and that of all the members of my support group, Tottori Danshukai, and the very fine group we have here.

You all have my undying gratitude.

Life doesn't get any sweeter than it is now.

[Slick]

Amazing stuff Kiwias, really amazing.

You may never know how many people you have helped on this thread, but believe me it is far more than those that engage with it. You should be a very proud man.

[Kiwias]

Amazing stuff Kiwias, really amazing.

You may never know how many people you have helped on this thread, but believe me it is far more than those that engage with it. You should be a very proud man.

Slick

I just know that I never want my grandchildren to see the ugly, abusive shitbag I become when drunk. Fuck, I don’t even want to know that prick.

Your very kind words mean an awful lot to me, thank you very much.

[mat the expat]

Your very kind words mean an awful lot to me, thank you very much.

You're a good bloke mate - self-awareness and willing to change

[Kiwias]

Your very kind words mean an awful lot to me, thank you very much.

You're a good bloke mate - self-awareness and willing to change

Thanks to you too, mat the expat. The equation reached a point of absolute purity and simplicity: either change or lose everything. I am lucky to have people around me who were prepared to stick with me.

[mat the expat]

Glad you did!

[Peripheral]

Just wanted to post on this thread.

I gave up drinking 8 years ago after a series of incidents that were putting my health & marriage under a lot of stress.
At the time it seemed like my world was going to end as I couldn't understand how I could socialise or relax without a glass or bottle of something.
I lurked / barely posted on PR, but the equivalent thread there and the endless supportive comments of Kiwias for everyone starting afresh were, frankly, inspirational and I suppose I just want to carry that over to here.

I found it tough at first. I didn't go out & when I did, I left early. I was wracked with guilt, ill health and stress. But each day got better. Each work or social event got less tense as I started to relax and just not give a f*ck about what other people thought. So, while likely of no real interest, I thought I'd list the things that I've learnt - hoping that it will help someone else:

1. This thread, and the old one, are great for just reading and seeing what everyone else is going through. If you decide to stop, you are not alone.
2. Your drinking friends start to repeat their stories around the 4th pint.
3. Weekends are much longer & work isn't as bad when you're sober.
4. Some people that you used to drink with are d*cks, you just never noticed before.
5. On the other hand, after a few months a lot of people will come up to you quietly and ask you how you did it and what advice you can give them.
6. I had people I barely knew who were incredibly kind and I have close friends who still ask me to this day if I want a "proper" drink when we go out
7. You will save a *lot* of money.
8. Talking about it really does help.

[C69]

Inspirational thread guys. Great stuff keep it up.

[Slick]

Just wanted to post on this thread.

I gave up drinking 8 years ago after a series of incidents that were putting my health & marriage under a lot of stress.
At the time it seemed like my world was going to end as I couldn't understand how I could socialise or relax without a glass or bottle of something.
I lurked / barely posted on PR, but the equivalent thread there and the endless supportive comments of Kiwias for everyone starting afresh were, frankly, inspirational and I suppose I just want to carry that over to here.

I found it tough at first. I didn't go out & when I did, I left early. I was wracked with guilt, ill health and stress. But each day got better. Each work or social event got less tense as I started to relax and just not give a f*ck about what other people thought. So, while likely of no real interest, I thought I'd list the things that I've learnt - hoping that it will help someone else:

1. This thread, and the old one, are great for just reading and seeing what everyone else is going through. If you decide to stop, you are not alone.
2. Your drinking friends start to repeat their stories around the 4th pint.
3. Weekends are much longer & work isn't as bad when you're sober.
4. Some people that you used to drink with are d*cks, you just never noticed before.
5. On the other hand, after a few months a lot of people will come up to you quietly and ask you how you did it and what advice you can give them.
6. I had people I barely knew who were incredibly kind and I have close friends who still ask me to this day if I want a "proper" drink when we go out
7. You will save a *lot* of money.
8. Talking about it really does help.

Cheers mate, this has come at a very good moment!

You mentioned ill health, how long did this last for you? I know I stopped in the middle of a pandemic with winter coming and all the colds and flus that brings, but it's only in the last few days I've felt remotely healthy, it has just been one thing after another.

[Peripheral]

Yeah, stopping at the moment with everything going on must be a right pain. I don't know if there is an actual medical reason, but I did feel that I caught a load of colds in the first few weeks after I gave up - I gave up on 31st January so was the same time of the year. I forced myself to go walking every day which really helped but I'd say by the end of March I was feeling a huge amount better.

The mental side probably lasted longer than the physical to be honest. I'd say I was about 6 months coming out mentally and getting my head back. At my wife's suggestion I took up writing in a journal. Nothing too intense - maybe a couple of lines a day. But kind of like an exercise log it helped to be able to go back and look at where I had been and how the same things no longer bothered me.

[Slick]

Thanks. Yes, I've heard a few people say that 6 months was a real turning point.

[Kiwias]

Just wanted to post on this thread.

I gave up drinking 8 years ago after a series of incidents that were putting my health & marriage under a lot of stress.
At the time it seemed like my world was going to end as I couldn't understand how I could socialise or relax without a glass or bottle of something.
I lurked / barely posted on PR, but the equivalent thread there and the endless supportive comments of Kiwias for everyone starting afresh were, frankly, inspirational and I suppose I just want to carry that over to here.

I found it tough at first. I didn't go out & when I did, I left early. I was wracked with guilt, ill health and stress. But each day got better. Each work or social event got less tense as I started to relax and just not give a f*ck about what other people thought. So, while likely of no real interest, I thought I'd list the things that I've learnt - hoping that it will help someone else:

1. This thread, and the old one, are great for just reading and seeing what everyone else is going through. If you decide to stop, you are not alone.
2. Your drinking friends start to repeat their stories around the 4th pint.
3. Weekends are much longer & work isn't as bad when you're sober.
4. Some people that you used to drink with are d*cks, you just never noticed before.
5. On the other hand, after a few months a lot of people will come up to you quietly and ask you how you did it and what advice you can give them.
6. I had people I barely knew who were incredibly kind and I have close friends who still ask me to this day if I want a "proper" drink when we go out
7. You will save a *lot* of money.
8. Talking about it really does help.

Peripheral

I am not the only one offering supportive comments -- that is common for all posters as we all recognise that we are all in the same boat on the same journey, albeit at different stages. What we all share is the knowledge that we are one bad drink from fucking things up totally and the determination not to take that first drink.

That out of the way, I am really chuffed to hear that you are doing well. Your points 5 and 6 ring a lot of bells/ for me, as does 8. It is not easy to talk about some of the shit that happened when drinking and this is where support groups are a massive help: every one is in that same boat which means there is no need to feel embarrassed. One comment we hear a lot in my group is that it is comforting to know there is always someone who was a worse drunk than you were

Looking forward to seeing you around a bit more.

EDIT: I just noticed your comment about keeping a journal. This is something I have done since I went sober and it is, as you say, fascinating to look back over it and plot my growth.

[Kiwias]

Regarding my journal, it was crucial in rebuilding my relationship with my son. Every six months or so I would scan all the new pages into a file and send it to him so he could share my thoughts over stuff that directly concerned him. He did the same with his journal and the exchanges led to some 'interesting' conversations as we both discovered a lot about each other's feelings and thoughts.

[Kiwias]

The BBC had an article discussing the whole issue of treatment of addiction in Scotland and it does not paint very pretty picture.

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-scotland-gl ... t-61274092

[Kiwias]

It has been ages since alcohol featured in a dream but I had a doozy last night.

In my dream, I was still married to my first wife and was still drinking. I was heading home after work and had talked to my boys about what we would have for dinner. My oldest boy had told me their mum was making my favourite dinner and that they really wanted me home early so we could all eat together. I promised I would be.

Then as I was leaving the office, a mate asked me to have a quick drink with him. This soon became two then three and so on. My phone kept ringing but I ignored it, knowing it would be my wife asking when I was getting home.

Then my phone started making really loud noises, sort of an alert alarm, and the barman told me to answer it as it was disturbing the whole place.

When I did, my sons were crying as my son told me how the dinner was getting cold and they really really wanted me to come home right now.

In my dream I was conscious that my overriding thought was of how fucking inconsiderate the boys were, as I was only having one or two quick drinks and would be home soon without all the hassling.

Classic alcoholic's thinking process, never blame yourself, find someone else to blame.

[Ymx]

That was a very vivid contiguous dream. Mine never stay so consistent and instead change up all the time.

So it wasn’t like a you slipped back in to it dream, it was a back in time one.

I’ve had a few dreams about having a drink. But it hasn’t been like I sneakily slipped in to it, but somehow just found myself with a drink. But I have realised in the dream I should not be drinking.

[Ymx]

On the topic. I have a friend who I work with, who really looks like he is battling it now.

He has in the past had tee total periods. And these are mainly the culmination of extreme drinking over long periods. Detox. And his extreme drinking is often coupled with many early starts. These patterns are all recognisable problems in my books.

He knows my story, and I think he knows I’m about should he want support. And he definitely had a clean up in his mind. But is continually putting it back.

I think his inability to regulate it will have lead to a realisation that it will be suggested to him he needs to stop. And I think the scariest part for him and for many others including myself, was the possibility of not drinking again.

I think being told to remove alcohol from your life forever is the biggest issue to overcome. I emphasise the “being told” bit.

I am not convinced it’s actually the best strategy. I think there is huge reluctance for people to seek help because they know they will have that pushed at them.

I don’t know what the solution is, but it’s not being told by others to stop drinking forever whilst you have a dependency. It needs to be a gradual decision made over a long period of time, and ultimately after the dependence has been overcome (1 year).

[Kiwias]

That was a very vivid contiguous dream. Mine never stay so consistent and instead change up all the time.

So it wasn’t like a you slipped back in to it dream, it was a back in time one.

I’ve had a few dreams about having a drink. But it hasn’t been like I sneakily slipped in to it, but somehow just found myself with a drink. But I have realised in the dream I should not be drinking.

I chatted to my eldest son about it and he said that while he does not have any specific memories of this happening, it probably did on more than one occasion and that would explain why it appeared in my dream. But I liked that even in the dream, I was aware that my thinking was that of an alcoholic.

[Kiwias]

On the topic. I have a friend who I work with, who really looks like he is battling it now.

He has in the past had tee total periods. And these are mainly the culmination of extreme drinking over long periods. Detox. And his extreme drinking is often coupled with many early starts. These patterns are all recognisable problems in my books.

He knows my story, and I think he knows I’m about should he want support. And he definitely had a clean up in his mind. But is continually putting it back.

I think his inability to regulate it will have lead to a realisation that it will be suggested to him he needs to stop. And I think the scariest part for him and for many others including myself, was the possibility of not drinking again.

I think being told to remove alcohol from your life forever is the biggest issue to overcome. I emphasise the “being told” bit.

I am not convinced it’s actually the best strategy. I think there is huge reluctance for people to seek help because they know they will have that pushed at them.

I don’t know what the solution is, but it’s not being told by others to stop drinking forever whilst you have a dependency. It needs to be a gradual decision made over a long period of time, and ultimately after the dependence has been overcome (1 year).

It clearly has to be your own decision, based on your own awareness that continuing to drink will create totally negative results in your own life. What is not clear is what can cause each individual to come to this awareness. It is impossible to know in advance what each person's rock bottom will be.

[Tichtheid]

Well, it's Day 1,
again.

I'd already convinced myself ten minutes ago that couple of beers wouldn't hurt ( couple usually = up to a dozen 500ml cans of 5% beer). I don't have to get up early tomorrow morning, so why not?

I started back at the OP and read this entire thread again and it really helped. The thing is I don't have any outrageous stories of lost weekends/weeks. Funny or really embarrassing things happen to others, I always imagine people go to AA after The Hangover type adventures, mine is a rather banal downing pint after pint whilst watching music videos on youtube until two in the morning and then feeling shit the next day and not doing what I really want to do, or be there for my family.

That's not the way I want the rest of my life to go, so thanks again for this thread, I will not drink tonight because of it.

[Kiwias]

Well, it's Day 1,
again.

I'd already convinced myself ten minutes ago that couple of beers wouldn't hurt ( couple usually = up to a dozen 500ml cans of 5% beer). I don't have to get up early tomorrow morning, so why not?

I started back at the OP and read this entire thread again and it really helped. The thing is I don't have any outrageous stories of lost weekends/weeks. Funny or really embarrassing things happen to others, I always imagine people go to AA after The Hangover type adventures, mine is a rather banal downing pint after pint whilst watching music videos on youtube until two in the morning and then feeling shit the next day and not doing what I really want to do, or be there for my family.

That's not the way I want the rest of my life to go, so thanks again for this thread, I will not drink tonight because of it.

Tichtheid

A vivid reminder that I too am just one can (or two) from not being the person I now want to be -- the sober version of me.

Don't beat yourself up too much over this, mate, but do let it be your own personal lesson.

Even now, the first words I say to myself every morning are "don't drink today" and the last ones as I go to sleep are "you did not drink today, well done", with a wee mental pat on my back for making it.

You are not on your own.

[Tichtheid]

Thanks Kiwias.

I had convinced myself that it was habit rather than addiction, but last night scared me a little as I felt nauseous because of my decision, my first physical symptom.

However, I didn’t drink yesterday and I won’t drink today

[Kiwias]

Thanks Kiwias.

I had convinced myself that it was habit rather than addiction, but last night scared me a little as I felt nauseous because of my decision, my first physical symptom.

However, I didn’t drink yesterday and I won’t drink today

Good man. Feeling nauseous about the decision is probably an encouraging sign, as it shows that deep inside you know you don't want to be doing this.

Kia Kaha

[Slick]

Well, it's Day 1,
again.

I'd already convinced myself ten minutes ago that couple of beers wouldn't hurt ( couple usually = up to a dozen 500ml cans of 5% beer). I don't have to get up early tomorrow morning, so why not?

I started back at the OP and read this entire thread again and it really helped. The thing is I don't have any outrageous stories of lost weekends/weeks. Funny or really embarrassing things happen to others, I always imagine people go to AA after The Hangover type adventures, mine is a rather banal downing pint after pint whilst watching music videos on youtube until two in the morning and then feeling shit the next day and not doing what I really want to do, or be there for my family.

That's not the way I want the rest of my life to go, so thanks again for this thread, I will not drink tonight because of it.

Well done.

In a similar place myself again. I had pretty much 5 months off it and absolutely loved it. After the first 5/6 days I really didn't think about it much any more - I'd wake up in the morning and my first thought was "I'm not drinking" and that would be it. I'd even nearly, but not quite, got into the mindset of not drinking again. Not quite.

Then a big event came up and the booze addled brain started it's tricks, "I'm confident enough now to have one night on it then get back to not drinking". That was Calcutta Cup weekend and here we are. I haven't been consistently drinking through this period but there have been more and more "special occasions" and then the last 2 weeks have been pretty much every night - like you, not massively excessive amounts but enough to be back in that place where I know I'm not being the best dad I can be, know I'm not working as hard as I should and not doing any exercise.

Anyway, I've got an event tonight and one on Saturday and then I'm off it again. However, there is an extended family holiday in July to France and that's already in my mind. Thing is I know it won't make it any more enjoyable, and I know I'll deeply regret not making better use of the time with the kids and family, but it's there.

Talking of withdrawal, that really shocked and surprised me. I don't think I was even in the top 70% of drinkers amongst my friends and peers but things like itchy skin, not sleeping well, being constantly drained went on for a while, especially the tiredness. It eventually became a great motivator as I was stunned than this drug, which is a massive part of society, is actually doing a horrendous amount of damage to my body.

The frustration is obviously that I know how much better my life is without it but I keep being dragged back, but I now know thats what I'm dealing with.

[Kiwias]

In a similar place myself again. I had pretty much 5 months off it and absolutely loved it. After the first 5/6 days I really didn't think about it much any more - I'd wake up in the morning and my first thought was "I'm not drinking" and that would be it. I'd even nearly, but not quite, got into the mindset of not drinking again. Not quite.

Then a big event came up and the booze addled brain started it's tricks, "I'm confident enough now to have one night on it then get back to not drinking". That was Calcutta Cup weekend and here we are. I haven't been consistently drinking through this period but there have been more and more "special occasions" and then the last 2 weeks have been pretty much every night - like you, not massively excessive amounts but enough to be back in that place where I know I'm not being the best dad I can be, know I'm not working as hard as I should and not doing any exercise.

Anyway, I've got an event tonight and one on Saturday and then I'm off it again. However, there is an extended family holiday in July to France and that's already in my mind. Thing is I know it won't make it any more enjoyable, and I know I'll deeply regret not making better use of the time with the kids and family, but it's there.

Talking of withdrawal, that really shocked and surprised me. I don't think I was even in the top 70% of drinkers amongst my friends and peers but things like itchy skin, not sleeping well, being constantly drained went on for a while, especially the tiredness. It eventually became a great motivator as I was stunned than this drug, which is a massive part of society, is actually doing a horrendous amount of damage to my body.

The frustration is obviously that I know how much better my life is without it but I keep being dragged back, but I now know thats what I'm dealing with.

It is such an easy trap to fall in, isn't it?

Are you planning to be off booze for the family holiday in France?

[Ymx]

Talking of withdrawal, that really shocked and surprised me. I don't think I was even in the top 70% of drinkers amongst my friends and peers but things like itchy skin, not sleeping well, being constantly drained went on for a while, especially the tiredness. It eventually became a great motivator as I was stunned than this drug, which is a massive part of society, is actually doing a horrendous amount of damage to my body.

This is very much a huge factor for me.

What I didn’t realise is that whilst I was heavy drinking,
I was suffering withdrawal symptoms which I hadn’t realised were withdrawals
- knot in my stomach
- anxiety
- itchy skin
Along with the more obvious ones
- tetchy especially when I couldn’t figure out how to get in my first drink
- blood pressure
- shaky hands
- not being able to sleep if a very rare non drinking night happens

I was not coping, and I hated the start of every single day until I was able to shake out the horrible withdrawals by by having a couple of drinks to purge the pains.

It took many years for it to slip to being so bad, but when I was there it was hard and horrible.

I now know I am a lot happier for it. Waking up without withdrawals, being able to sleep without booze, and being able to be there for my daughter is priceless.

On the mindset :
I now have no craving, can take it or leave it.
So, I can have an evening. And even afterwards you feel, that wasn’t enjoyable, so don’t even want to.
And then this followed by it slipping slowly back in

Don’t beat yourself up. I’m pretty sure that’s just part of the learning process of it all.

You now are armed with more tools for the next time, with this experience under your belt.

[Kiwias]

Ymx

Damned good post, mate, clearly spoken from experience and from the heart.

It took many years for it to slip to being so bad, but when I was there it was hard and horrible.

I now know I am a lot happier for it. Waking up without withdrawals, being able to sleep without booze, and being able to be there for my daughter is priceless.

Yes, it is a long, slow decline to our own rock bottom so it makes sense that the recovery too is a slow process. It is easy to fall into the mind-trap that "well, I've stopped drinking now so everything should be sweet and easy".

The act of stopping drinking is the start of the recovery and patience is absolutely critical, along with the belief that you can do it.

[ASMO]

Great thread all, very proud of you all, this thread alone makes the effort in building and maintaining this place completely worthwhile.

Changed this to a sticky topic so it stays at the top where it belongs, and can be easily found by those who might need it.